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Your Longterm-Goal And How To Get There.


Rosegirl

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I suppose that most of us have full recovery, or living with ones disorder(-s) as best as possible if full recovery is not expected, as our MAIN-GOAL.

To reach this main aim, it might be necessary to set one or more longtime-goals (goals that need planning ahead step by step). My thoughts are that this thread shall be of help to chose at least one longterm-goal at the time and to figure out how to get there step by step and to have the support of other DF-members.

1) Name the longterm-goal you are working for at the time being.

2) Write down what small steps you have to take to reach it.

3) Come here now and then and share with us how you are doing.

Let us all be supportive! :smile:

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For the time being I have two important long-term goals I want to work on to reach.

FIRST GOAL:

1) Name the longterm-goal you are working for at the time being.

I need to improve my ability to reach appointments in time.

---

2) Write down what small steps you have to take to reach it.

a) I will look at my schedule every afternoon an every morning to look at important appointments.

b) I will sit down and think what cloths to wear and how long it will take to make myself ready to leave home.

c) I will write down when I have to start preparing to leave the house and exactly the time to go.

d) I will NOT ignore the note on when to prepare for leaving and when to go.

---

3) Come here now and then and share with us how you are doing.

See you later! :smile:

SECOND GOAL:

1) Name the longterm-goal you are working for at the time being.

To help me to structure my day and to keep track of my mood, sleep, medication, food ..., I will use two tools: 1) a mood chart, 2) a schedule (this is recommended by learning therapists to improve mood disorders or other MI). MY GOAL is to be more clever to use these tools, not to be perfect or to be a slave of them.

---

2) Write down what small steps you have to take to reach it.

a)I already have a week plan, but it has to be adjusted to how my days are now. So that is my first step, to adjust it.

b)I have already printed out mood-charts for 8 weeks. So that job is done already.

c)To help me to remember to use them I will place the schedule and the mood-chart at the place where I usually eat my breakfast.

d) I will use my timer (alarm) to remind me to look at them during the day.

---

3) Come here now and then and share with us how you are doing.

Hope to see you soon. :smile: If anyone wants to have a reference to where to find a schedule and a mood chart please PM me!

Best wishes to everybody who want to use the thread. :rose:

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Here I am again. I only want to tell you that I have managed to update my main weekly schedule and are ready to use both that and the the mood chart. That gladdens my heart and of course I want to share .... :smile:

I have found parts of my journal (where the main part were deleted by an accident). At the end of August last year I wrote that I had too many appointments and that these appointments made it difficult for me to have a good (for me) structure of the day (difficult to follow my ordinary schedule). I also wrote that I had lost my sleep. I advised myself to start making schedules that was appropriate. In some way or other, I must have failed to do so. 1 1/2 month later I became depressed and struggled to cope. In January the depression was so deep that I don't want to describe it to you. I fought for a month and when I thought I could relax, I became even worse in February.

Well, this thread is not about me. It is an invitation to those of you who are capable to make long-term plans to do so and to specify what you will do to reach one or more of your goals. When one has to specify, one really has to think hard and cannot hide from the truth about the road forward. We are all unique and have to walk our own steps, but thanks to God, we are able to share and support each other on the road.

I feel relief now that I have made my plan. It will be hard work in the weeks (months) to come, but I hope I have found the right button to push life together again.

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Some of my personal goals are to

1. Try to get my mood swings in order. I need to recognize this and when my mood changes I need to start taking my vitamins, take my medicine, journal more frequently to stop any build up of problems. It takes a lot out of me to be on this up and down roller coaster, I need to exercise even when I don't feel like it and eat something healthy even when I feel like reaching for junk food.

2. Another long term goal I have is to start taking classes again. I stopped before and I want to start again.

3. Look for something good in each day, see the good.

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OceanBreeze9721:

I need to exercise even when I don't feel like it and eat something healthy even when I feel like reaching for junk food.

Hi (((Ocean))),

Yes, the most difficult is to do what we have to do when we don't feel for it! I really understand ... But it's such a good feeling afterward when we have made it! :smile:

So far this day, I've been able to follow my plan and I wasn't late for my appointment ... WOW

Good luck with your goals! :flowers:

Edited by Rosegirl
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  • 2 weeks later...

Nice post! I hope you are doing well with your goals :)

The deadline: Everything is better be done in a month because then I have to depart from home, the room is booked and flights is paid for

My main goals:


1 Take care of my health. For the moment I need to do smth with the problem I have with trigeminal nerve. Learn some good exercises to solve some issues with my backbone, and other things.

2 Do something to get mentally healthier. I believe that a big part of my depressive tendencies are because of the health issues which started to appear lately. But I also need to sort out my thoughts because it seems like I've changed a lot, my views on life have changed. Also what led me to depression was that I was taking for around 8-10 years some stimulating things (not drugs) to be more active and it exhausted me physically and mentally. I thought that I was strong and active but in fact I was just burning more physical and mental resistance then could be regenerated. Now I know that that "strong and active" was not really me and that I need to learn to live in a more calm way. And it is super difficult because in many ways I need to change my way of thinking. Also I need to see what I can do with some OCD tendencies I started to have lately.

3 Start searching for a job

4 Improve my Italian (needed for a job)



Edited by 4444
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My long term goal is to do things for myself again like going out and making phone calls. To do that I need to go out when I need to on my own and make my own phone calls. Today I went out on my own and did well.

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4444 said:

Nice post! I hope you are doing
well with your goals :)

Glad you liked it. Well, I'm working on
my goals, but it's difficult. I am depressed, and it seems
like some unconscious part of me are protesting about that
and sabotages the whole «thing». I will have to do a great deal of
work to both get my plans adjusted to where I really am
(psychologically) and I have to be aware of the inner
«sabotage». Feel exhausted, but I'm going to go on fighting.

Hope you find a solution on how to
cope with the trigeminal nerve. I also hope that you get a job soon
and that working with you italian will will give results.

Best wishes! :rose:

My long term goal is to do things for myself again like going out and making phone calls. To do that I need to go out when I need to on my own and make my own phone calls. Today I went out on my own and did well.

Good luck with that, Natalie! :rose:

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Hi Ocean, the «Mind over Mood»
seems to be of interest. (Looked at it at Amazon). Hope that it will
help you on your road to recovery. I saw it had a chapter about
charting. I chart myself. Think you will find it helpful.

I'm slowly becoming better in planning
how to reach appointments in time thinking about it in the
evenings and in the mornings.

I'm also becoming more clever to
use my daily schedules.


Have to work more on both long term goals!


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Hi Ocean, the «Mind over Mood»

seems to be of interest. (Looked at it at Amazon). Hope that it will

help you on your road to recovery. I saw it had a chapter about

charting. I chart myself. Think you will find it helpful.

I'm slowly becoming better in planning

how to reach appointments in time thinking about it in the

evenings and in the mornings.

I'm also becoming more clever to

use my daily schedules.

Have to work more on both long term goals!

Hi Rosegirl, I'm glad you looked it up on Amazon, that's kind of neat. I have looked through it, but haven't started reading it yet. I have been so busy lately but Spring break is just around the corner, so I will have a vacation coming up and will read it then.

I think my new goal is to continue to focus on focussing on the good and not the bad. It seems that I am so used to thinking about bad things and waiting for them to happen that I make them happen. Lately I have been more in control of my actions and it is so helpful.

Long term goals are important!

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The more I think about it, the more I realize I have no long-term goal. Not even one. I don't think I ever have, really. I just go along with life, hoping not to fall through the cracks.

My first long-term goal, then, will be to write a novel. It's always been my dream, and now that I have the free time, I can make it my goal too. I'm going to get there by writing at least two pages every single day.

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Long term goals are important!

Yes, Ocean, long term goals are really important! They make one to look for a future, gives one something to fight for. With that said, I think that some of the newly diagnosed will have problems to even think about how to get out of bed. A long term goal in such a situation isn't a good idea, but it will be as soon as they get better.

Glad you have the book and hope the work with it will help you. I have no belief in just reading a self-help book, only working with the self-help book. I found my favorite long time ago. It's called «Breaking the Patterns of Depression» and is written by Ph. M. Yapco. He has a lot of «Learn by doing» exercises in his book and gives tools for how to cope. Since I found his book helpful in the first place, I always turn back to that book when I feel that I need to repeat the methods. His overall look at depression is rooted in different learning theories. He combines them.

I hope you will find just as much help in your book as I have found in mine! :smile:

To focus on the good instead of the bad is smart. I'm trying to do that too. Regarding my first long term goal, «to improve my ability to reach appointments in time», so far it seems that I'm able to follow the steps I set up for myself to reach that goal only when I don't feel too much down. In other words, to be brutally honest, I give up the fighting when I need to fight the most. Still I'm not going to force myself to do it better. I have set it up as a long term goal exactly because I know myself well enough to know that it will take me some time to reach it. In stead of forcing myself, like a tyrant, I will calmly help myself back to basic (to work properly at that goal) when I experience the «oh I have fell off my track». So I'm still working on this long-term goal. :smile:

Regarding my second long-term goal, «to structure my day and to keep track of my mood, sleep, medication, food», I have caught myself falling off track this week. It happened the way it usually happens: I felt good and thought I deserved some rest from the daily schedules. I stopped eating well, stopped charting i.e. M. Yapco, the author of the self-help book I use, have set a clear warning about not to forget to schedule ones day for work and for fun. He shouts at page 338: «DO NOT LEAVE TIME UNSTRUCTURED». The way he sees it, schedules are not only a tool to overcome depression, but also a tool to prevent future episodes.

I will have to go back to the good habit of using the two tools I set up in the beginning: «1) a mood chart, 2) a schedule (this is recommended by learning therapists to improve mood disorders or other MI). MY GOAL is to be more clever to use these tools, not to be perfect or to be a slave of them.»

I think I will manage to get back on track now that we have spoken about it here. That's the good thing about DF. We can share our struggles and encourage each other. It's so valuable to have somebody to talk to!

Good luck and best wishes for you to work well with your goals, Ocean! :rose::hugs: I will do my best to have better news next time. :smile:

Edited by Rosegirl
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The more I think about it, the more I realize I have no long-term goal. Not even one. I don't think I ever have, really. I just go along with life, hoping not to fall through the cracks.

My first long-term goal, then, will be to write a novel. It's always been my dream, and now that I have the free time, I can make it my goal too. I'm going to get there by writing at least two pages every single day.

WOW! Hope you succeed. If you feel that it becomes too much in the long run, perhaps you might benefit from writing one page a day. It's up to you to decide. I think one of the best things about deciding long-term goals is that when they are sat, we have to take responsibility to reach them or to change our plans so they will fit us better!

Good luck! :flowers:

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Long term goals are important!

Yes, Ocean, long term goals are really important! They make one to look for a future, gives one something to fight for. With that said, I think that some of the newly diagnosed will have problems to even think about how to get out of bed. A long term goal in such a situation isn't a good idea, but it will be as soon as they get better.

Glad you have the book and hope the work with it will help you. I have no belief in just reading a self-help book, only working with the self-help book. I found my favorite long time ago. It's called «Breaking the Patterns of Depression» and is written by Ph. M. Yapco. He has a lot of «Learn by doing» exercises in his book and gives tools for how to cope. Since I found his book helpful in the first place, I always turn back to that book when I feel that I need to repeat the methods. His overall look at depression is rooted in different learning theories. He combines them.

I hope you will find just as much help in your book as I have found in mine! :smile:

To focus on the good instead of the bad is smart. I'm trying to do that too. Regarding my first long term goal, «to improve my ability to reach appointments in time», so far it seems that I'm able to follow the steps I set up for myself to reach that goal only when I don't feel too much down. In other words, to be brutally honest, I give up the fighting when I need to fight the most. Still I'm not going to force myself to do it better. I have set it up as a long term goal exactly because I know myself well enough to know that it will take me some time to reach it. In stead of forcing myself, like a tyrant, I will calmly help myself back to basic (to work properly at that goal) when I experience the «oh I have fell off my track». So I'm still working on this long-term goal. :smile:

Regarding my second long-term goal, «to structure my day and to keep track of my mood, sleep, medication, food», I have caught myself falling off track this week. It happened the way it usually happens: I felt good and thought I deserved some rest from the daily schedules. I stopped eating well, stopped charting i.e. M. Yapco, the author of the self-help book I use, have set a clear warning about not to forget to schedule ones day for work and for fun. He shouts at page 338: «DO NOT LEAVE TIME UNSTRUCTURED». The way he sees it, schedules are not only a tool to overcome depression, but also a tool to prevent future episodes.

I will have to go back to the good habit of using the two tools I set up in the beginning: «1) a mood chart, 2) a schedule (this is recommended by learning therapists to improve mood disorders or other MI). MY GOAL is to be more clever to use these tools, not to be perfect or to be a slave of them.»

I think I will manage to get back on track now that we have spoken about it here. That's the good thing about DF. We can share our struggles and encourage each other. It's so valuable to have somebody to talk to!

Good luck and best wishes for you to work well with your goals, Ocean! :rose::hugs: I will do my best to have better news next time. :smile:

Hi Roegirl,

I experienced a setback a few years ago, and it was very tough. I felt so guilty for not being the person I wanted to be and to face others while being depressed felt that I was fake. My mistake was not catching it in time, but you have caught it in time and can acknowledge that both medicine and tools are needed. I am glad you were able to speak about it, I find that since I came back to the the DF, it has helped me have a place to not only vent the negative but to remember the positive.

Happy St. Patricks Day!

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I experienced a setback a few years ago, and it was very tough. I felt so guilty for not being the person I wanted to be and to face others while being depressed felt that I was fake.

Well, I feel like I'm stuck at the same "place". It's alright fighting for being better using tools and so on ..., but we also have to accept that sometimes the burdens are more heavy to carry than our coping-mechanisms are capable to handle. For the time being I have experienced a lot of negative events, just small ones, but when one already is burdened up to the neck, a small negative experience on top of that really is difficult to swallow.

I think that I will not blame myself for this situation. That will not help! Instead I will try to start moving forward again, slowly, but still trying to do it inside of the frames of my schedules. I'm complete helpless when I cannot use my schedules, so small steps trying to reach the level I was upon some weeks ago, will probably help me.

I think that when one has tendencies to be depressed, one should not be discouraged when ones burdens are heavier than one can carry. Life comes with no guaranties. We only have to do the best we can inside the situations that are ours.

Hope I have better news next time! :smile:

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Hi Rosegirl,

I understand what you mean about sometimes the burdens are just too much for coping mechanisms to handle. When this happens, I usually have to take something to calm me down or to lessen the anxiety. I would be lost without that.

Maybe you could make your schedules online? I find that I can make a good schedule about once a week, and those days in between I just don't remember.

I think that no matter how many setbacks one has, never stop trying to make it better. there will be good days, weeks or years and sometimes it takes the negatives to finally see the positives.

How has the medicine been helping you? I have been on my medicine since February and the first part was really rough.. I thought that I wanted to stop taking it and almost had a nervous break down. So far it has worked a little bit and I think I will continue to take it.

As far as long term goals, I think my first goal is the one that I am getting a little bit better at. I still want to take classes, but the thought of it and how long it will take stresses me out. I think seeing good in each day is ok, but I think I need another goal than that.

Take care and take one day at a time.

Ocean :)

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Hi Rosegirl,

(...)

I think that no matter how many setbacks one has, never stop trying to make it better. there will be good days, weeks or years and sometimes it takes the negatives to finally see the positives.

(...)

Take care and take one day at a time.

Ocean :)

Thanks Ocean! :hugs: With these words you help more than you probably can understand! THANKS!

About your first long term goal, I'm sure you will find something else. That's what so effective about setting long term goals and describe how to reach them; we will see as times goes if they are realistic and can adjust our long term goals after how realistic they seem to be. To set a goal for the future is easy, but that isn't helpful without a plan for how to reach that goal. That is what this thread is about: An opportunity to test out what we want for ourselves in the long run and to look at the necessary steps to reach our aims, - if we really have the capacity to reach them or if we have to lower our expectancies or find a new future goal to fight for.

I'm so glad you participate on the thread, Ocean!

Thanks again for the encouraging words and be well! :hearts:

Edited by Rosegirl
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Hi Rosegirl,

I enjoy replying because it is hard to go through this alone. I'm glad the words help, :)

I think for my long term goal, my mood swings are getting a little bit better but still have some set backs. I am exercising a little bit more but the junk food part...yikes I have been eating chips and cookies. i forgot about that one.

When I first came back to the DF, I didn't think that I would be able to come back and speak out that my depression had returned when I had come so far. But hearing the advice from others helped me so much to forgive myself. I could let go a little bit.

Keep writing.

Ocean

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