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Dealing With Social Anxiety/staying Home?


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To deal with all the stress of modern life I stay home alot... I'm also self employed so I find myself staying around the house- I'm running out out of things to do- Anyone else spend alot of time at home? What do you do to pass the time?

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That's what I do to and I like you make a living from home. Still would like a part time job I think but the thought of being out there with people gets me all anxious, its like I am at peace at home, even though it gets lonely at times. I do a lot of craft so that takes up a lot of my time and running a business at home takes up a lot of my time too. When I do find myself with nothing to do that is when the bad thoughts enter my mind so I just keep busy all the time.

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Thread What kind of business do you have? I rescreen pools & patio enclosures here in south florida... I really try to stay busy but sometimes i just have too much time on my hands & it gets overwhelming...I know what you mean about getting lonely...Because of my anxiety I dont meet new people & I just get by talking with my family & neighbors...Work has been kinda slow so hopefuly buisiness will pick up so I can stay busy- Thanks for the reply & I hope things get better for the both of us!

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Its funny how our user names reflect what we do for a living........................................I sell craft items, fabric and the likes. Took on the challenge last year as working full time was not working for me, well I actually had a bit of break down, so decided to start my own business and see how it goes. I am not so stressed and I can just be me, it makes the world of difference. But the loneliness is there, I think even when I was with people I was lonely I just didnt seem to fit in.......................I think because I thought differently and didn't want to fit with the norm.

I tend to talk to people via email which I don't mind, but its business and bit of chit chat and then only my supplies by phone. I think that's why I try and keep busy all the time, which become exhausting so as not to think about all the friendships I don't have and the loneliness.

What sort of things do you like to do? Is there maybe a hobby you would like to try that you have thought about but never got around to it?

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I didnt like working full time for a large company & when I'm busy the money is much better so I started advertising... Ive been doing this now for 20 years...

I used to do most of the rescreening myself till the economy took a dive...Then I found myself sitting at home- So I concentrated on sales & dealing with the customers- I kinda miss being out there on the road... My social anxiety kicked in from not being out there...

One of my hobbies is music- I play the guitar- I listen to music in the background all day while I work at my desk... Its 11:00 am & not one call yet- Hopefully things pick up later today...

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I usually stay home reading, or browsing the internet. Sometimes I watch TV.. I try to push my boundaries and attend social events too every once in a while. Living with social anxiety is hard for sure but remember there is help for it available. You don't have to deal with it all alone, and you can make solid and fast progress with a professional such as a therapist.

Oh, and congratulations! :)

Edited by Onelightburning
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Congrats on the big job!

I am a librarian in a college library and I WISH I could stay at home! :-) I have a lot of art and craft interests that I would like to concentrate on full time. Unfortunately, I have to keep working to be able to pay for my house and my life. I think it's interesting that you are a screenman. Very appropriate! I had my back porch screened in about 3 years ago so my kitties could go outside without really being "outside". It was the best thing I ever did and I love it! My kitties love it too! The only problem I'm having is the screen doors were not very good quality and I'm going to have to replace them. Otherwise, I pat myself on the back every time I go out there (which is every day!) for being smart enough to have it done!

So, I guess my advice to you is to think about starting a hobby that you can work on at home. It can be anything. Woodworking. Knitting. Painting (pictures, not walls!) Just anything really! Is there anything you've always wanted to learn to do but never have? I remember I told my ex-husband once that he needed a hobby. He went out the next day and went sky-diving! That became his hobby for almost 20 years! LOL!

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  • 8 months later...

I started working from home about a year ago, for my PTSD it has helped dramatically to reduce my anxiety with the rest of the world. In my past of working for a large global corporation, the joys of being a number, even in research, we were all numbers. From there to a mix of jobs & working for others, in many different fields, if nothing else learning the idiosyncrasies of the human race. From there a few attempts in the service industry for heavy equipment & wind farm construction.

During those 25 years of working for others, what was a hobby as well as college degree, has now become my career path. I am a industrial model maker, from trade show exhibits to special short run manufacturing for the model rail road & trucking collectible markets. 90% of my contact with the outside world is via email, very little is actually taken care of on the phone, even less in person. All of my supplies come to the shop via mail or carrier, which is a direct result from being able to buy it all online. All of my finished products is shipped by mail or carrier.

With the benefit of living & working out in the "sticks" or north eastern country, when the shop is slow, i try to stay busy with cutting & splitting wood (for heat in the winter) , going for walks n the woods helps to some extent. But even then bad days can turn into bad weeks or months. the past 4 months have been a roller coaster ride of very good & dominated with very bad days.

What i have found is that the rest of the family automatically assumes that since i am "home" all day, then i MUST be the maid of the house. It seems as if no one else can be bothered to pick up after them selves, clean anything, especially the kitchen. In addition, when the others are asked to pitch in, being that they live here and are always willing to contribute to the mess, why then is there response of bad attitudes?? It is this guilt that has driven my depression into a painful deep dark place.

Am I missing somethings? Or is it considered the "norm" that if you work from home then you (or we) are expected to be the house maid??

Outand741

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  • 2 months later...

Congrats on the big job!

I am a librarian in a college library and I WISH I could stay at home! :-) I have a lot of art and craft interests that I would like to concentrate on full time. Unfortunately, I have to keep working to be able to pay for my house and my life. I think it's interesting that you are a screenman. Very appropriate! I had my back porch screened in about 3 years ago so my kitties could go outside without really being "outside". It was the best thing I ever did and I love it! My kitties love it too! The only problem I'm having is the screen doors were not very good quality and I'm going to have to replace them. Otherwise, I pat myself on the back every time I go out there (which is every day!) for being smart enough to have it done!

So, I guess my advice to you is to think about starting a hobby that you can work on at home. It can be anything. Woodworking. Knitting. Painting (pictures, not walls!) Just anything really! Is there anything you've always wanted to learn to do but never have? I remember I told my ex-husband once that he needed a hobby. He went out the next day and went sky-diving! That became his hobby for almost 20 years! LOL!

One of my passions is music...Its a great escape...I can always count on music...

I play and record on the electric guitar...Its like magic- When I'm stressed I usually lose my inspiration-

I listen to my music quite often...

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Thread What kind of business do you have? I rescreen pools & patio enclosures here in south florida... I really try to stay busy but sometimes i just have too much time on my hands & it gets overwhelming...I know what you mean about getting lonely...Because of my anxiety I dont meet new people & I just get by talking with my family & neighbors...Work has been kinda slow so hopefuly buisiness will pick up so I can stay busy- Thanks for the reply & I hope things get better for the both of us!

I live in South Florida too. I find this to be a really difficult place for a socially anxious introvert. How about you?

As for passing the time, I listen to music, read books, look for random stuff on the internet. If I do go out, it's only for essential things (like food).

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Thread What kind of business do you have? I rescreen pools & patio enclosures here in south florida... I really try to stay busy but sometimes i just have too much time on my hands & it gets overwhelming...I know what you mean about getting lonely...Because of my anxiety I dont meet new people & I just get by talking with my family & neighbors...Work has been kinda slow so hopefuly buisiness will pick up so I can stay busy- Thanks for the reply & I hope things get better for the both of us!

I live in South Florida too. I find this to be a really difficult place for a socially anxious introvert. How about you?

As for passing the time, I listen to music, read books, look for random stuff on the internet. If I do go out, it's only for essential things (like food).

Hi, I'm here in S Fla also. Not knowing of having a social phobia , I moved here in '71. Although the sun and warm weather were life saving, I found I had a hard time even going to the beach. This was a "geographic cure" from drugs and alcohol. Then I realized I couldn't go out anywhere without them. I worked and stayed in my apartment. After a long time without them, (6 years) I reverted again being a loner (even married). Then she divorced me because of it.

I started drinking again and went to live in a warehouse. I worked as a mechanic and had many hobbies, building cars, artwork,etc. My talents have always been my safe cushion to hide in.

Through another marriage for 9 years with another alcoholic. I left her and a house I bought and her 3 kids.

I drank in an apartment until '96 then hit bottom with alcohol. I stopped and then all my phobias, insecurities, fears, terrors hit after 10 days.

I've been trying to find some ordinary feelings for the last 17 years. Using AA's program, therapy helped some. Now with meds, therapy, I'm starting to feel better, but still only have 2 friends and don't socialize. Here I still like to "tinker" with motorcycles, cars,music, art, and working in the yard and my mobile home.

As long as I'm busy creating something, I feel at least useful. Like writing on here.

Last night; New Years Eve. I spent comfy and alone. I felt refreshed today and worked in my shop, I have with a friend. Tomorrow I have therapy and work. I feel ok today.

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Thread What kind of business do you have? I rescreen pools & patio enclosures here in south florida... I really try to stay busy but sometimes i just have too much time on my hands & it gets overwhelming...I know what you mean about getting lonely...Because of my anxiety I dont meet new people & I just get by talking with my family & neighbors...Work has been kinda slow so hopefuly buisiness will pick up so I can stay busy- Thanks for the reply & I hope things get better for the both of us!

I live in South Florida too. I find this to be a really difficult place for a socially anxious introvert. How about you?

As for passing the time, I listen to music, read books, look for random stuff on the internet. If I do go out, it's only for essential things (like food).

Hi, I'm here in S Fla also. Not knowing of having a social phobia , I moved here in '71. Although the sun and warm weather were life saving, I found I had a hard time even going to the beach. This was a "geographic cure" from drugs and alcohol. Then I realized I couldn't go out anywhere without them. I worked and stayed in my apartment. After a long time without them, (6 years) I reverted again being a loner (even married). Then she divorced me because of it.

I started drinking again and went to live in a warehouse. I worked as a mechanic and had many hobbies, building cars, artwork,etc. My talents have always been my safe cushion to hide in.

Through another marriage for 9 years with another alcoholic. I left her and a house I bought and her 3 kids.

I drank in an apartment until '96 then hit bottom with alcohol. I stopped and then all my phobias, insecurities, fears, terrors hit after 10 days.

I've been trying to find some ordinary feelings for the last 17 years. Using AA's program, therapy helped some. Now with meds, therapy, I'm starting to feel better, but still only have 2 friends and don't socialize. Here I still like to "tinker" with motorcycles, cars,music, art, and working in the yard and my mobile home.

As long as I'm busy creating something, I feel at least useful. Like writing on here.

Last night; New Years Eve. I spent comfy and alone. I felt refreshed today and worked in my shop, I have with a friend. Tomorrow I have therapy and work. I feel ok today.

Hi fellow Floridian JW OLD BUSA,

You don't just have 2 friends, you now have many friends. I'm glad your meds and therapy are bringing you to a better place in your life. Florida is a great place to live, but it's just getting tooooo crowded. I live in Central Florida ( have my whole life ) and I may have to move to an unincorporated area eventually. I need woods and the St. Johns River. So peaceful and great therapy for me.

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  • 1 month later...

So do any others who work from home or alone the majority of the time, find that the solitude & seclusion more important than daily conversation? I have found that I greatly prefer to have as many conversations via email as possible. The anxiety when the phone rings and a unfamiliar # is on the ID screen often leads to not answering it at all. Some days are worse than others, and during a bad spell, i won't answer the phone at all. I have gone weeks with out ever leaving the property, I must go outside to bring in firewood, but that is only because if i don't we will freeze. When i am outside of the house / shop, i tend to time things to have the least amount of interactions with others.

Your thoughts?

Outlan741

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I think some people just like the peace & quite...I have a beautiful home on the water & its my castle...

I enjoy doing projects around the house & staying busy dealing with customers & running a bizness-

When I need to go out and do some erands I get iritated with the traffic & rude people in a hurry to get somewhere...They drive like fools... and thier is so much hate in thier eyes......

I've got good news... I've come to the conclusion it's not us... Its just that most the other people out thier

are NUTS... :) I think the nice & humble people are just too nice & get pushed around...

I think I'll stop here... I guess you can tell I live somewhere they say has the worst drivers in America !

Peace & Love...

screenman-

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screenman, your so right on the drivers here! To me it's a sign of this society, the government as well.

There doesn't seem to be a place for nice quiet people with humility.

I've been pushed around since 5 years old. I hate agressive people and stay away from everyone I can because I'm paranoid as well, they are all out to do me harm if I'm around them.

My therapist is trying to train me to be more aggressive so I can find some confidence and stand up for myself. I don't want to be like them, so I struggle.

I need to become enraged to fight back and that don't work.

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Florida guys, Sadly i would say that the "Bad drivers" from the south have invaded & taken over much of the country. Up here we see most of them in panic mode when the 1st snow event of the season drops an inch or so. I swear they all come out of the woodwork, bend over & insert there head up their --------, and hit the roads.

1000% in agreement, Everyone else is nuts !!! :blues:

Outland

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I need to go to the Miami Va monthly and take their shuttle there from Broward. I would never make it through that traffic. The others at the hospital are just as nuts as I am so I don't mind being with them.

I took off Friday to go there and Have been home since then.

I need to get groceries today and park as far as I can from everyone else. I laugh at those fighting to get the closest spot.

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We are thinking along the same pathways..... I have never understood the need to park the car in the spot closest to the door of anyplace. More often than not, I am amazed that i can park in the "back 40" of the lot (to avoid people), walk into the store, get what i need and while walking back to the truck, the same parking spot drifters are STILL circling. My 2nd ex-wife was like that & she would do it just because she knew it irritated me.

It seems that many of you on this thread are in the southern tip state, is the winter time more crowded? with all of the northern "snow birds" returning for hibernation????? Can not imagine a place with no seasons, especially Fall & Winter.

Outland741

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Florida gets crazier with snowbirds this time of year. Watching the weather up north, I understand why.

I sometimes miss the seasons. Here it's pleasant or hot and humid. (My a/c is still cycling on these past few weeks.)

I think they all just like to drive around, rush hours or not.

They're not as noticeable now as it's crowded all year long. Snowbirds mostly moved here, I think.

The roads have expanded only half enough, as time has passed.

I don't go anywhere without plenty of cd's and a cup of coffee!

If I can drive to work and back without anger, guilt or major depression, I know my meds are working well.

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After my trip to the Miami hospital Friday, (harassed again by another human) I isolated until Monday when I had therapy, I confessed to being triggered to planning a self destruct episode a week ago from other events of that week, so my P Doc. is monitoring me with some calls.

I just can't deal with mean inconsiderate people.

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