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Random Thoughts


Seuss

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Dream last night: took the city bus ans saw 2 of my friend I tried to avoid them since I got fatter and I didnt accomplish much since I saw them I think it almost 2 year since I didnt see them. Another dream was with my old crush I dont rememberbut I liked it.

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I confess that sometimes I feel as though human beings are very much like machines. There's electricity in both our "brains", and we’re programmed to "think" and "act" specific ways. Human beings are just a creation of nature and are capable of questioning our programming. Without questioning and taking control of our programming - the way things are and what we first perceive to be truth - we’re pretty much advanced machines.

“This is the gift of humanity: that it is claimed by the self. None of us...are human unless and until we claim it for ourselves. But nothing can stop that claiming - not the eight million gods nor the spirits nor ghosts. Nothing but ourselves, anyway.”

- Kij Johnson, The Fox Woman

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I really need to wear my glasses more often. I went out for a walk in the park today and I could see something moving underneath a tree, but I could not see whether it was some kind of bird or a squirrel.

(Turned out it was a squirrel, but I had to get quite close to find out!)

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I've been thinking about how I've wasted more than a few years being a "loner".

Oh well, not much can be done about that now. And that's another thing, my thoughts have tended towards pessimism lately. It's not like I can do anything about wasting the past. Gotta keep trudging along.

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I feel like I just had an epiphany. This is probably obvious but I guess it just didnt register enough for me before. I am a nice person, definitely codependent. Being a woman, I grew up to believe men are the rulers and we try to influence. The reason for my depression is I feel I am in a situation that I can do nothing about. Thats the reason for all my depression episodes!

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