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Daisy Duke

Why Don't I Ever Do What I Think I Want To Do??

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I haven't been on DF for AGES. There's so many new names!!

So I'm suffering anxiety, fatigue, very low mood. I have withdrawn, isolated myself and my mind is whizzing, analyzing my behaviour and what I need to do to help myself.

I work 18 hours a week, am married with a 12 year old daughter. I mostly manage okay, I havent had a serious episode for about 9 months. My job is causing me a lot of stress and I am looking for something else.

The thing is I am so lonely, and even though given the choice I would just stay in my house 24/7 I think it would really help me to do 'something'. As I havent been feeling too good I emailed my therapist who suggested activites to help me feel grounded and to connect with people. I constantly look into different things I could do and make plans but then never follow through. You know like volunteering, a sport, a singing group or lesson.

Does anyone else have this problem and gotten through it?

What did you do and what activity did you try and did you do it on your own?

Daisy Duke

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Hi Daisy, having struggled to beat clinical depression and having severe sleep apnea as well it is a tough road sometimes. I was chronically sick and unemployed for a couple years before I was treated for two very serious disorders and have now gotten my life sort of back on track.

I say start tomorrow and let me know what you have decided to do. That is the best way.

;)

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Guest dontevenknow

Daisy, I am the same way. At night I make plans to do something the next day and 99% of the time I dont follow through then I feel horrible the next night. I dont know what it is. Sometimes I want to just force myself to do it but cant. I am currently unemployed and have been trying to make myself volunteer somewhere but I cant even do that. Most days I dont want to leave the house and when I do I accomplish nothing but at least I got out.

I have volunteered in the past and let me tell you it is a wonderful feeling. Helping people who really have nothing is so rewarding plus you make new friends.

Have you asked your daughter to volunteer with you anywhere?

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Hi Daisy Duke,

Yes I have this problem too. I can sometimes get going if I break something down into small little tasks though. So for your example for volunteering you might want to break this down into the first step of finding something you can volunteer for. So you can look through all the different things you could volunteer for and maybe find something not too overwhelming that would only require you to go once. That is your goal to achieve for the week so focus only on this.

Then after you find something your next step would be to contact them to organise a day/time. This is your new goal for the week so once again only focus on this.

Then the next step would be pushing yourself out the door (sometimes thinking about giving yourself a reward for going might help.) I usually start thinking of all the things that could go wrong and that's what normally keeps me stuck so don't do that lol. Try and think on the positive things for doing it - you will feel good about yourself, you will talk to some lovely people and be doing a great service in whatever you volunteer for. Another tip for getting yourself out the door is the break down the task even more. So for example getting out the door can be broken down into 1) getting ready 2) getting in the car 3) driving to the event 4) getting out and meeting everyone. If you just focus ONLY on each one of these I can help once again to not be too overwhelmed.

I hope any of what I said was helpful and I feel like a total hypocrite as I would also like to volunteer but I feel too scared. Don't be hard on yourself though, it is difficult so start small and be proud of any progress you make.

Take care.

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