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Anyone Else Having A Quarter Life Crisis?


flowerpower89

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I have just discovered this term, and I can relate to it 100%. I'll be 24 soon and I have been feeling this way for about 2 years. The problem is, I feel I haven't lived or achieved anything, and I've wasted my youth. I have no degree, no career or permanent job. I have no real passion, no motivation but I want to learn from my past and take a second chance at living the life I want but I don't know where to start.

I believe a lot of ones success in life is largely due to what is 'handed' to them, either by parents, relatives, friends, mother nature or through validation from others. Many of these happy smiley facebook people grow up with successful parents, are blessed with good looks, are given a gf/bf by the laws of nature, have high levels of confidence instilled in them and often walk into a career with the help of their parents. Like parent like child. I fall short of that sequence. My parents are good people but they are clueless about the real world. My father has always been a follower, and has managed to hold down a career by luck really. He has poor social skills and is very passive. My mother has never had a 'career', although she has held down several jobs over the years. I have spent thousands on my face to try and look better. I have no friends anymore, no social life and I don't get the validation from others I need in life to have the confidence and self esteem to fend for myself. I am turning out just like my parents, but I may not get the lucky break they did to survive and hold down a normal suburban family life.

At the moment I seem to be repressing the issue by living on the internet all day, watching TV and sleeping. I keep saying to myself "once the weather gets a bit better" or "give it a few more weeks and things will pick up" but all I'm doing is postponing the problem. I need a plan of action and the motivation now but I just can't do it.

Is anyone else on here going through this era of life with similar problems to me?

Please share your stories & advice, Thanks.

Edited by flowerpower89
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Oh god yes, but I think its down to my depression rather than my age. But yeah, I'm 25 in 7 months and I feel exactly like you described. I have no advice really, but I'm just letting you know you're most definitely not alone. :)

I wish you all the best, in any case and hope you manage to control these thoughts. They're certainly not nice thoughts and I wouldnt wish even my worst enemy to have to think them.

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Yeah... I'm 21 and supposed to know what to do but I have no clue.. I still think that every human being is important whatever they might do or not do. There are people who have it all but you never know what they feel inside. I don't think it's healthy to compare a lot.. I think we're the same: just humans and we all have the same needs. Success is really not the most important thing when you look at human life.

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Yeah... I'm 21 and supposed to know what to do but I have no clue.. I still think that every human being is important whatever they might do or not do. There are people who have it all but you never know what they feel inside. I don't think it's healthy to compare a lot.. I think we're the same: just humans and we all have the same needs. Success is really not the most important thing when you look at human life.

I agree, I believe every human is important when you look at the big picture and consider the miracle of life. The people who have it all will of course experience misery, for instance the sail on their yacht may have broken or they may have to miss out on sex for one night - its still a feeling of misery, but to a dehydrated person struggling to survive in the desert, a bottle of cold water would be the best thing in the world, if you get what I mean.

Its the basic fundamentals of life that need to be fulfilled to experience happiness and contentment. I'm not a materialistic person. I don't desire fancy cars, plasma Tv's and so forth, I also don't necessarily want a big high profile job that will cause me a lot of unnecessary stress just to help some big corporate company gain some more money...I believe in fairness & equality.

All I want in life is the ability to fit in, feel loved and to love back, feel secure and be confident in my own skin. This is something that any well developed human/animal should feel by default.

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Scary how similar your story is to mine. I'll be 24 in October and I have yet to accomplish anything of meaningful importance. Like you, my parents are good people but they are quite clueless about what I'm going through. They're not exactly ones to open emotionally either.

I am actually a semester away from finishing my degree, but I just couldn't take the pressure anymore and this past August, that fear finally overwhelmed me. I suffered a nervous breakdown and now... I just feel stuck. When I left for school, I put the weight of the world on my shoulders. I wanted to take my family out of mediocrity and be that financial rock for them. Right now, it just feels like I've failed. The passion and interest isn't there anymore. Everything just seems dull. I can go weeks at a time without leaving my apartment thanks to the internet.

I still continue to fight and look for answers as I try to transition into adulthood (I certainly don't feel adult), but I feel as though the clock is ticking and I'm running out of time.

Edited by Doomy
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I feel right there with you as well. Though my personal situation is slightly different, I have very similar thoughts and agree with a lot of what you said about those who are just handed things.

Prior to about 4-5 months ago:

I was employed full-time with pay above minimum wage, benefits, vacation time, and where I worked, the 2nd or 3rd most senior employee there.

Unfortunately, due to some problems with a district manager, he brought up a huge episode of depression in me that i'm still going to therapy about trying to work through it.

Ever since the start of seeing my therapist, I realized how I had been wasting my life away at this job, because I had already been passed up for multiple promotions,

verbally had performance review threatened upon me, and overall had just been taken advantage of in this job. Sadly, I still work there (until I decide to call it quits),

but I decided to take the first step in getting out of that hell hole by going to back to college. All I can say is that my life while on campus, I feel the closest to happy and

fulfilled that I have in a long time. There are still a lot of problems in my life that aren't going to just work themselves out, but at least I have taken a step in the right direction

and feel like I'm moving towards something that I can feel proud of, that pays well, and will allow me to go out and "do something" if I wanted to. The worst part of my days

though, are when i'm there at work. I was able to go down to a part-time employee and still keep benefits and all, but every moment i'm there I feel like I just wish I

weren't, and that I could just get a new job that I can enjoy while I try to enjoy life, and experience new things.

Honestly, fear is going to be the biggest thing that will hold you back. If you want to do something with your life, figure out what you'd like to do, and in small steps, work towards it.

I'm trying to get into a Nursing program somewhere, and people always ask me what kind of nurse I want to be. I still haven't figured it out, and it worries me a little that I didn't even

think about that, but then I just have to shrug it off and realize that I'm being the change in my life that I always talked about. I'm making a better future for myself and when the time

comes to make that decision, it'll happen. And it will happen not because I worried about it, but because I earned it.

Hope you can figure out how to steer your path in a new direction that will make you feel fulfilled. Good luck :)

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I felt similar but was turning 20. For me, the best thing was to read. Gain a different view and speak to people if you can who've been where you are - you realise life from another perspective which may open doors for you. Most of the worries you have in everyday life people have gone through and there's always a solution. Focusing on the problem isn't healthy and it's not logical, look for solutions then act upon them - you'll be able to pick yourself up much quicker that way :)

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