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Suicidal Ideation - Breaking The Cycle


ELJ1980

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This seems to be my default setting at the moment, does anyone have any advice to break this cycle? I am not going to do anything to myself currently (although this has not always been true by any means.... I've had a whole range of suicidal ideation).

I have this load crouching on my brain, behind my eyes that makes me think that i might as well be dead, and so i think about different ways of making this happen, i try to stop myself, concentrate on work, but then the Barsteward returns. I am only mildly depressed today and would be comparably fairly functional, my normal, or at least lets just say 'my traditional' way of dealing with this would be drugs, alcohol and self harm... does anyone have any suggestions (please no suggestions of exercise, I have exercised myself to a high level of fitness and this voice/mass/load didn't relent for a moment and cycling/running in traffic would make it very easy)

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I'm not really sure. I used to have SI all the time too. I still have it from time to time, although not anywhere near the frequency it used to be. For me it just took time. The more you do, the less you'll find yourself lost in SI, so much as mulling over the tasks you have to do that day. A busy job did wonders for me in that regard. I didn't have time to think, so I didn't. By that point it had ebbed from the near constancy it used to have anyways, so that really helped to nip it in the bud. The busier you are (by that I mean too busy to let your mind wander), the less time you'll spend in your head, and the better you'll feel.

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Generally I can distract my self with other thoughts, positive thoughts, even sexual thoughts have broken through the suicidal thoughts with good success.

But, if my thoughts turn into serious ideations, then I turn to professional help, talk, meds, or hospital.

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