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Anyone Here Become Depressed As A Result Of Loneliness?


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I've noticed after browsing through many of the threads on here, that there are a lot of people who describe themselves as having social anxiety or being shy. I've noticed a lot of post about feelings of loneliness too.

I just want to say that I can easily understand how feelings of loneliness can lead to depression. It can make you feel different, like there is something wrong with you, or that you're somehow not good enough. It can leave you feeling a sense of 'why would anyone want me?'

For those who have fallen foul to shyness or social anxiety, it can sometimes make you feel powerless to do anything about the situation to change your life for the better.

Some situations can leave you wary to trust people and this can make it difficult to connect.

Some courses of action can seem too daunting to take, and this can be depressing, especially if you feel that those around you don't understand or are not supportive.

Of course, if you're isolated, dno't have many friensd or dating experience, there's a lot of stuff that can make you feel ASHAMED about it, for fear of being seen as a 'loser'. Take for example advice like ' people are drawn to thoses with busy, active lives'. For someone in the afformentioned predicament, this can make one feel defensive and even more reluctant to get out their shell. Unfortunately, our current society is exceedingly shallow. As we all know, there is a powerful inverse correlation between shallowness and kindness.

Anyway, it is that sense of powerlessness that the above can sometimes lead to that can make it seem futile to change your life for the better, which can erode your sense of HOPE. This is especially true if you're going through the above alone or not being understood. It is this erosion of your sense of hope and infuence over the situation that is depressing.

What I want to ask is, how many of you guys are afflicted by the above situations? If so, do thoughts about your situation trouble you? Do such situations make you feel worthless or somehow 'different? Or do some of you get really horrible, evil nasty thoughts like you're a write-off?

Please feel free to share any of that stuff here, cheers

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What I want to ask is, how many of you guys are afflicted by the above situations? If so, do thoughts about your situation trouble you? Do such situations make you feel worthless or somehow 'different? Or do some of you get really horrible, evil nasty thoughts like you're a write-off?

Oh I get those thoughts terribly. Recently there was my brother's wedding and then today I find out my ex gf is dating some guy and is real happy with him. I feel like an outcast, reject.

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Yes. I think my loneliness played a huge part in my depression. I have issues with my career, but when I am totally honest with myself, 90% of those problems are problems that stem from me blaming it on my loneliness. My depressive episodes have gotten worse and more frequent though, even though I've been dating more. I think that may be because I feel like it only validates that I'll be alone forever.

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This is very much how I feel. Though I can't blame my depression entirely on loneliness, I can say that it does account for a very large portion of it.

Basically everything you said applies to me. I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me, something different about me that makes me totally undesirable as a mate. I notice it everyday, I'm like a ghost to the world, I have no presence, nobody looks at me. I have never been on a date in my life, or even been presented with the opportunity. It makes me feel like a total loser. All my peers have experience with dating, love, or relationships, some are even happily married, yet I'm still stuck at stage zero.

It absolutely makes me feel hopeless because everything I've tried to do to help my situation has ended in failure, and in turn, I feel like a failure. I don't know what else to try and the idea of continuing just leaves me tired. So my only recourse has been to just suck it up and accept that I must remain alone.

It's not even that I feel like I need a relationship to validate myself or anything, really I'd just like to know what it's like to not be alone. I just want to experience the feeling of loving and being loved by someone in spite of (or even because of) who I am, even if it's just once, even if I never feel it again after that.

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Besides having my wife and daughter as company at home, I am a very lonely person. Outside of my immediate family I have isolated myself from all friends and relatives. It seems so ironic that I have a family but I feel lonely. I have shunned my friends which makes me feel lonely, but I don't really want friends. I find real life friendships too complicated. Crazy hey?

At work I have only a few colleagues which I engage in very basic, mundane conversations with. I am generally lonely at work, at my desk job, behind my computer and telephone. It is a lonely world I live in, with people around me, and I am not prepared to reach out and engage. It is almost like I have given up on people.

Loneliness does not necessarily mean you have no one to talk to or to be around with. Loneliness for me is an introverted feeling of isolation and withdrawal from the world around me.

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I've been told that I'm not ugly but that's only from the people who know about my problems with my confidence so I can't really trust their judgement. I feel so different from all the people around me that I wonder why others don't just walk up to me and tell me to leave. How do other people strike up conversations with potential partners? I'm terrified of being publicly ridiculed.

At the start of my depression, I isolated myself because I didn't want to be a hindrance to anyone. Then I wondered why nobody sought me out to ask what was wrong. I then started examining my appearance and have come to believe that my appearance must be one of the reasons why I'm so ignored.

Nobody could ever love me the way I am, heck I don't even like myself. When I hear of people breaking up with their significant others and grieving for their lost relationship, a part of me still thinks, 'yes, but at least you had a relationship.'

'Tacit Blue' has expressed themselves well and I feel like I'm in a similar situation.

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Lonely, yes, depressed, yes. I don't know which came first. I didn't fit in as a little girl (because I was mentally ill?), that made me sad and lonely. I don't fit in now, sad and lonely. But I can't fake it like other adults seem to do sometimes, I can chit chat to a point but eventually people annoy me or I feel slighted. I guess I do more pushing away these days than I do getting rejected - but it isn't any less painful or lonely.

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Don't think that having the "busy, active life" is the key to finding people to be in relationships with. My life is plenty active, busy, with me appearing to the world as a take-charge kind of person in my own sphere, happy, laughing, joking, organizing -- but scratch the surface and I'm one of the loneliest people out there. Sometimes it's simply because I have no one to turn to when I'm exhausted from that dratted busy, active life :P

Loneliness can take many forms. Yes I feel very much like a freak sometimes as an intersection of minoities to start off with, then add being an artist and musician on top of that. I've found loneliness can be a result of being unique and having a non-conformist, non-traditional mindset, but also it can be a result of being in a leadership position where you have very few peers who can relate. Loneliness can also happen becase you're exhausted from being around people so much that they've depleted all your reserves, and the last thing you feel like doing is socializing, but paradoxically because you voluntarily turn down those folks, you wind up feeling lonely, which triggers a depressive episode. Yes, been there, still trying to learn to balance and cope even today.

Edited by Talmida
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Don't think that having the "busy, active life" is the key to finding people to be in relationships with. My life is plenty active, busy, with me appearing to the world as a take-charge kind of person in my own sphere, happy, laughing, joking, organizing -- but scratch the surface and I'm one of the loneliest people out there. Sometimes it's simply because I have no one to turn to when I'm exhausted from that dratted busy, active life :P

Loneliness can take many forms. Yes I feel very much like a freak sometimes as an intersection of minoities to start off with, then add being an artist and musician on top of that. I've found loneliness can be a result of being unique and having a non-conformist, non-traditional mindset, but also it can be a result of being in a leadership position where you have very few peers who can relate. Loneliness can also happen becase you're exhausted from being around people so much that they've depleted all your reserves, and the last thing you feel like doing is socializing, but paradoxically because you voluntarily turn down those folks, you wind up feeling lonely, which triggers a depressive episode. Yes, been there, still trying to learn to balance and cope even today.

I can (somewhat) relate to this. I always felt like the 4+6 years I spent in college and grad school destroyed my social life those years. What few weekends I had free I just wanted to spend with a few friends at the bar. I really didn't even have time to truly socialize. In a related sense, now that I have time to, I can't even relate to people who never took school seriously. I legitimately can't relate to people who treated college as a 4 year party, :(.

So yeah, I got isolated largely because of my decisions, which frustrates me everything.

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