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Falling Out Of Love


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I've suffered with on an off depressing for the last 6 years. I'm never really happy, I just have a few months at a time where things are a bit more bearable.

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and for the last month or so I've been really unhappy, not just in the relationship, but in general. He's an amazing guy, he's so sweet, caring and loves me to bits but I just sort of woke up one day and had stopped feeling anything for him.

I know it's most likely just my depression but I don't know if I should break up with him. I don't want to hurt him, but I also don't want to stay with him as the way I'm acting (I don't want to talk or go out anywhere) is going to make him as miserable as I am

Any advice?

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It sounds like the depression. Are you seeing a therapist or taking any meds for your depression? I know many people frown on meds, but they really do help. If you are on something, maybe it's time for a higher dose or a change.

Also, I belonged to an intensive group therapy program through the local hospital, and it really helped me get my life back and put things into perspective. If you have something like that in your area, I recommend it highly.

Ultimately, I can't tell you what to do about your boyfriend, but if I were you, I would at least have a talk with him. Tell him what's been going on and be honest. From what you've described, it sounds like he would be very understanding and supportive. Believe me, most people aren't supportive when you are sick. I lost a lifelong friend because of her nasty treatment of me when I was ill. At any rate, see what he has to say and go from there. Good luck!

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It sounds like the depression. Are you seeing a therapist or taking any meds for your depression? I know many people frown on meds, but they really do help. If you are on something, maybe it's time for a higher dose or a change.

Also, I belonged to an intensive group therapy program through the local hospital, and it really helped me get my life back and put things into perspective. If you have something like that in your area, I recommend it highly.

Ultimately, I can't tell you what to do about your boyfriend, but if I were you, I would at least have a talk with him. Tell him what's been going on and be honest. From what you've described, it sounds like he would be very understanding and supportive. Believe me, most people aren't supportive when you are sick. I lost a lifelong friend because of her nasty treatment of me when I was ill. At any rate, see what he has to say and go from there. Good luck!

That sounds like some pretty solid advice. I advise the same. The way you are currently feeling towards him may be more connected to your depression than the relationship. I too think sitting down and having a good honest talk about him would be a good start. Then look into ways to treat your depression directly.

Treating your depression and giving your life in general a brighter perspective may give you a refreshed appreciation of your relationship :)

I also say this because I can relate to your feelings. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful girlfriend, who's very supportive and understanding as well. Despite this when I'm at a down point and feeling anxious and depressed, I can get to worrying that it may not work between us, or that I may be slowly losing my feelings for her, as if it was just some kind of infatuation, but then when I talk it out with my therapist, and do excercises to make me feel better, or am in just a good mood in general (my depression and anxiety are an on/off kinda thing) it reminds me how much I love her and appreciate her as a good person as well as a good partner, and how those thoughts are usually just symptoms of my mental issues, and often unrelated to the relationship itself.

Sorry, enough talking about me, I just wanted to show you that I can relate. And in remember, honesty's the best policy. Best of luck to you two :)

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  • 2 months later...

Any updates on this?

Bigb90, I know what it's like from the other side. My boyfriend recently broke up with me out of the blue saying he never loved me and didn't even like me. For about a month or so previous, he'd been exhibiting some pretty textbook depression symptoms (sleeping a lot, not eating, not smiling, isolating from everyone, etc.). It's really confusing for the non-depressed partner, for sure, so I hope you talked to him through this, like someone else advised. My ex just started shutting me out, going from "I don't know if I love you" one day to being lovey the next to "I never loved you" and then ending things. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster to hell, to be honest, because he had just shut me out of everything.

I hope things have gotten better with you guys, I really do.

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