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How Do You Feel Today #31


Trace

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Excited and a bit nervous. I've finally heard back about jobs I applied for: I have one interview lined up and received a call earlier about scheduling another. I really want out of my current job, but I don't want to exchange one crap job for another, nor do I want to hope so much for the job that I get rejected and still stuck working here. But I do feel like I really have a shot for things to get better.

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I'm feeling down today. I don't know why. I have been sitting at my computer listening to music and reading lyrics to it and it's making me feel worse.

I was at work and I saw a trigger. I was so tempted to do something, but I was able to hide it away. I was playing with it and getting joy out of it, but I put it away once those feelings started to overwhelm me.

My boyfriend is coming over tomorrow when I get off work so that's something to look forward to it.

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Alone and lonely even though my husband and kids are home. How can that be?

I get that way frequently. Even when there are people around, family and friends, I'll still be filled with loneliness.

It is one of the crueler effects of depression for me.

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Feeling good about meeting a friend who I've not seen for two years and challenging myself to a new environment by opening up about my sexuality.

Hope that the opening up goes well for you.

I'm fine mentally, doing pretty well these days. Have had some reminders to myself about being complacent but have worked through my issues.

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Angry Angry Angry. I made the mistake of expecting somebody (close, mature, adult family, no less) to do what they said they were gonna do. About 30 days ago! still no action taken. I had a feeling this was going to happen, but I usually have that feeling. Didn't take care of it myself for fear of offending this person. I can clearly see now I will have to take care of it myself ASAP and that will offend them. And I will be ready for a family war. I could fill a page full of four letter words write now.

At least now I am reminded why I spend as much time as I can alone.

Edited by Iceman
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