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How Do You Feel Today #31


Trace

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Not as bad as I feared I would. I've been having a lot of anxiety the past week and started doing the early morning waking again. Yesterday I was up before 5 with my anxiety through the roof. I was dreading last night because of the time change, but actually I did okay. I had some anxiety when I woke up and was about to begrudgingly check the clock when I noticed light through the blinds. It was 7am (6, if you take into account the time change) - a civilized hour!

Yesterday I read a passage from Claire Weekes about how depression is actually depletion of emotional reserves and that even when we're struggling those reserves are gradually being replenished. Comforting.

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Today I am feeling like I am trying to take back being in control of my emotions instead of them being in control of me.

I find that if I just slow down a bit, things are much calmer. It doesn't have to be a worry about everything and everyone. Focus on breathing, steps, things like that helps.

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I had a pretty bad day. I acted out, was loud and crude and rude. For that I'm ashamed about, but the situation NEEDED to be vocalized. Part of it is that I haven't been sleeping well. I'm lucky if I get an hour uninterrupted sleep. Insomnia has really set in. So, I just had a bath and I'm going to snuggle into bed with my cat.

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Today I feel like I am slowing down a bit, which is a good thing. I am concentrating on not having negative thoughts, not worrying, and being more mindful. I am feeling glad that I saw an old friend and had a good talk. I am glad that my daughter is doing well in school. I am glad that I am able to smile because I feel like smiling.

I am in control of my emotions, my thoughts and my worries.

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