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Thinking About The Future/death


ClutchKidx

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since i've been 12-13years old the thought of my parents my sister brother even dogs dying came to my mind especially my parents i kept telling myself what im gonna die if they both die,and im alone... it was making me sick just vomiting then my mom would tell me positive things then ill go to sleep and wake up and its like it never happen i was like oh what was i thinking they are not gonna die blabla then it kept happening each year at one point.... until my father died almost 2years ago.. now i live with my mom who take cares of everything and sister my brother moved out with his girlfriend and just before on new years day i was bed sick and the thought of my mom dying and me staying alone with my sister and not knowing what to do.. came to my mind i've been thinking the same things for the past 2days it comes into my mind then ill start doing something and it went out but each time i went to the bathroom because i was sick the thought always came back when im in bed trying to sleep it will come to my mind i have no job no girlfriend if my mom dies what in the world im i gonna do... maybe im depending on my mom too much and the thought of losing her is making me sick?

Someone please help me.... just any thoughts of how to beat this fear or just get it out of my head will be perfect

thank you

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Hey there ClutchKidx

I am sorry to read about the loss of your father two years ago. It must be extremely difficult for you to bear and the grieving period can be long and painful.

One thing to try and remember is that there really is no such thing as the future. The future is only a concept which we experience as life unfolds in a series of 'nows". Every one of us are in the same situation, we want to know that everything will be OK in the future, that we will be safe, cared for and loved. The fact is that we can never have this assurance. So the trick is to enjoy the here and now as much as possible, not thinking about tomorrow. This is indeed not easy and may take a life time of practice. This is the essence of worry -- to think negatively about the future.

If you make a list of things that you fear the most, you will notice that they have not happened yet. There is also a very good chance that these things may never happen. Take a good look around you right now. Look at the objects in the room, look outside your window, look at the people around you and notice one real thing. Everything around you is OK -- Right Now! When you feel the anxiety come over you, say it it aloud: "Everything around me is OK, right now!" Then start to enjoy living in the present and being content that things really are OK, right now!

I hope this helps.

All the best...

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Hey there ClutchKidx

I am sorry to read about the loss of your father two years ago. It must be extremely difficult for you to bear and the grieving period can be long and painful.

One thing to try and remember is that there really is no such thing as the future. The future is only a concept which we experience as life unfolds in a series of 'nows". Every one of us are in the same situation, we want to know that everything will be OK in the future, that we will be safe, cared for and loved. The fact is that we can never have this assurance. So the trick is to enjoy the here and now as much as possible, not thinking about tomorrow. This is indeed not easy and may take a life time of practice. This is the essence of worry -- to think negatively about the future.

If you make a list of things that you fear the most, you will notice that they have not happened yet. There is also a very good chance that these things may never happen. Take a good look around you right now. Look at the objects in the room, look outside your window, look at the people around you and notice one real thing. Everything around you is OK -- Right Now! When you feel the anxiety come over you, say it it aloud: "Everything around me is OK, right now!" Then start to enjoy living in the present and being content that things really are OK, right now!

I hope this helps.

All the best...

Wow i never thought about it that way Thank you so much you cannot believe how much this helps!

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I also have a terrible fear of aging and death. My biggest fear came true 2 yrs. ago when my mother died.

I knew it was going to be painful, but I'm devastated. I just thought my mother would always be around.

She was always my rock, someone I could talk to about anything. She always listened and gave sound advice, I'm lost without her.

Death is a part of life. My mother is gone, but I'm still here and she would be so mad if I didn't move on.

Knowing this, I continue to struggle, but will not give up.

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I am wondering if you are worried about what would happen without your mother - and there is nothing at all wrong with this - then maybe you can actually answer that question : i.e. what would you do? how would you support yourself?

if supporting yourself is an issue - then it sounds like its time for you to start working on that so that you may alleviate your fears. I don't know a lot about your situation but one way of dealing with your fears is to answer them and answer the 'what if' questions.

If the 'answer' to this 'what if' bothers you - then do something to change this answer. This is usually easier said than done though. But maybe all these worries that you have are a signal that you are wanting to make changes in yuour life.

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I have a fear of death. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think I'm at that age I could have a heart attack any time, especially with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I also lay there and think about bad things that might happen. I once feared losing my mom and dad and it did happen. I made it through, somehow and I'm still living on, but it is still hard at times. I wish I could tell you how to deal with the fear, but I haven't quite mastered it myself. Darrith has a good suggestion though. When I start thinking heavily about it and get anxious, I take an adivan to calm down but that really isn't a good answer.

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Thank you all for sharing and helping,i have been going out with my cousin and the thoughts of losing someone as been going out it still comes to me here and there but i try to change my mind of of it and like Darrith said...""Everything around me is OK, right now!" and that is really helping me i guess my biggest fear is to be alone and not loved and no way of supporting myself now that my mother is still here.. i need to move on and get a job trying to some money aside for when ever the time comes i will have money to support myself now im just happy that my mother is still alive and i have to keep on with that.. thank you all again

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