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Acrowley

Redundancy

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Hi guys. I find myself returning here repeatedly, ready to offer advice and warmth, only to be stumped by the feeling of pointlessness and redundancy that I get. What's the point? I can preach all I like, bottom line is we all stay unhappy. I don't know what this is supposed to be, other than a self indulgent rant. I think it's a general suicidal kind of exhibitionism, and maybe an acceptance that no amount of support will make it past the "trivial" mark in my head. I don't think I'll be on here again, I just want to give in to nihilism and violent angry feelings, I just want to not care anymore and smash everybodies' silly rules and barriers. Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid, I just am trying to deal with a very angry, holier-than-thou, insightful part of me, I won't hurt anyone other than me. Feel free to delete this or reply, I don't know what I'm going to do. Goodbye.

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Saying "I don't know what I'm going to do" doesn't sound very good to me. It makes me worry about you. You sound as though you have given up. Don't feel that way. My father died unexpectedly right before Christmas. I posted here because I simply didn't know what else to do. I got lots of caring, good advice and love. It meant so much to me. No where else would I have gotten that within hours of posting. We can do that for you too. And you can post back. If you'd seen my post I'm sure you would have replied and it would have meant a lot to me. There are a lot of people on here who just need someone to acknowledge the way they are feeling. That's all. Just someone who can say they understand what they're going through and offer sympathy and hope. None of us have the answers but we can share what's worked for us. Stick around and read some more. Try to help others. I think you'll find we're a good bunch and a great place to hang out. I'm going to post some numbers for you just so you can talk. I'm not lecturing you or insinuating that you are suicidal but I am saying I think you need someone to talk to. Just give it a try.

Numbers in next post!

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Here you go:

Argentina ~ 223-493-0430 ~ http://www.familiardesuicida.com.ar/

Armenia ~ 2-538-194 or 2-538-197

Australia ~ 1800 55 1800 http://www.kidshelpline.com.au/ or 13-11-14 ~ http://www.lifeline.org.au/

Austria ~ 142 or 01 713 33 74 ~ http://www.telefonse....efonseelsorge/

Barbados ~ 246-429-9999

Belgium ~ 02/648.40.14 or 106 or 107 or 108 ~ http://www.preventiezelfdoding.be/ or http://www.tele-accueil.be/

Bolivia ~ (910) 485-4134

Botswana ~ 391-1270 ~ http://www.befriende....sp?c2=botswana

Brasil ~ 55 11 31514109 ~ http://www.cvv.org.br/

Canada ~ 1-800-232-7288 ~ or 911 ~ http://www.dcontario.org/

CANADA Suicide & Crisis Hotlines. Crisis Counselors National Hotline 1-800-448-3000 . TTY - National Hotline 1-800-448-1833

Canada (French) ~ 1-866-277-3553 ~ http://www.cepsd.ca/

Chile ~ 22 10 10 or 21 01 43

China ~ 852-2382-0000 or 0800-810-1117 ~ http://www.crisis.or...PublicMain.aspx

Costa Rica ~ 506-253-5439

Czech Republic ~ 602-246-102 or 241-432-466

Croatia ~ (01) 4833-888 ~ http://www.plavi-telefon.hr/

Cyprus ~ +357 77 77 72 67 / Military 2345, ~ cyprussamaritans.com ~ E-mail Helpline: samscy@hotmail.com

Cuba ~ 532 348 14 49

Denmark ~ 70-201-201 ~ http://www.livslinien.dk/

Egypt ~ 762-1602/3 or 762-2381

Estonia ~ 6-558-088 or 126 or 127 ~ http://www.eluliin.ee/

Fiji ~ (0679) 670565 or (0679) 302998

Finland ~ 09-731391 or 040-5032199 ~ evl.fi/kkh/to/kpk/pap.html

France ~ 01-45-39-4000 or 01-46-21-4646 or (+33) (0)1-40-09-1522 ~ http://www.sos-amitie.com/ or http://www.sos-amitie.com/

Germany ~ 0800-1110-111 or 0800 1110 222~ http://www.telefonseelsorge.de/

Ghana ~ 2332-444-71279 ~ http://www.befriende....s.asp?c2=ghana

Gibraltar ~ 55666 or Military 5666 to Samaritans

Greece: ~ 197 or 210-649-7706 or Queen Sophias 135 or 801 801 99 99 ~ http://www.klimaka.o...wsite/index.htm

Guatemala ~ 502-254-1259

Holland ~ 0900-0767

Honduras ~ 504-237-3623

Hong Kong ~ +852 23820000 ~ sps.org.hk

Hungary ~ (62)-420-111 or (46) 323 888 ~ http://www.pharereg.hu/

Indonesia - 500-454

India ~ 91-22-307-3451 or +91 (0) 44 2464 0050 ~ http://www.snehaindia.org/

Ireland ~ 1850 60 90 90 (ROI local rate) or +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate) ~ http://www.1201.org.il/

Israel ~ 1201 or Tel from abroad: 972-9-8891333 ~ http://www.1201.org.il/

Israel ~ 972-9-8891333 ~ 1201.org.il/

Italy ~ 800 86 00 22 or 199 284 284 ~ samaritans-onlus.it ~ telefonoamico.it

also German Language part of Italy (South Tyrol) 840-000-481

Jamaica ~ 977-5754 or 1 888 991 4505

Japan ~ 3-5286-9090 ~http://www.telljp.com/

Liberia ~ 653-4308 ~ http://www.befriende....asp?c2=liberia

Liechtenstein ~ 147

Lithuania ~ 8-800-2-8888 ~ http://www.jppc.lt/

Luxembourg ~ 45-45-45 (German)

Malaysia ~ 03-756-8144 or (06) 284 2500 ~ http://www.befpen.org/

Malta ~ 179 ~ appogg.gov.mt/supportline179.asp

Mauritius ~ 46-48-889 / 800-93-93 ~ http://www.befriende....p?c2=mauritius

Mexico ~ (573) 581-1878

Namibia ~ (09264) 61 23 2221 ~ lifeline.org.za/namibia.htm

Netherlands ~ 0602 222 88 or 0900-0767 ~ http://www.sostelefo...ehulpdienst.nl/

New Zealand ~ 4-473-9739 or 0602 222 88

Nicaragua ~ 505-268-6171

Norway ~ +47 815 33 300 ~ kirkens-sos.no

Paraquay ~ 021 663 187 or 0991 268 384 ~ http://www.apps.org....ontactenos.html

Philippines ~ (02) 8969191 or Mobile phone: 0917 854 9191

Poland ~ 52-70-000 or 52 70 988 ~ http://www.telefonzaufania.org.pl/

Portugal ~ 239-72-10-10 or 112 ~ http://www.telefone-.../site/suicidio/

Republic of Ireland ~ 1850-60-90-90 or see Ireland

Russia ~ 8-20-222-82-10 or (8202) 577-577

Samoa ~ 32000 ~ http://www.befriende....s.asp?c2=Samoa

Scotland ~ +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 or 08454 24 24 24 ~ http://www.samaritan....one_calls.aspx

Shanghai ~ 021 6279 8990 ~ http://www.lifelineshanghai.com/

Singapore ~ 1800- 221 4444 ~ samaritans.org.sg/

South Africa ~ 0861-322-322 or 051 444 5000 or 0861 322 322 ~ http://minotaur.marq...ers-sa/main.htm

South Korea ~ 2-715/6/7/8-8600 or (local)-9191 or (82) 51 804 0896 ~ http://www.counsel24.com/

Spain ~ 91-459-00-50 ~ http://www.telefonodelaesperanza.org/

Sri Lanka ~ 1-692-909 ~ http://www.srilankasumithrayo.org/

St. Vincent ~ 809-456-1044 or (784) 456 1044

Sudan ~ (249) 11-555-253

Sweden ~ 020 22 00 60 or 031-711-2400 ~ www.143.ch/web/

Switzerland ~ 143 or +41 (0) 27 321 21 21 ~ www.143.ch/web/

Taiwan ~ (037) 332565 or 332621 ~ http://www.hotline.o.../bin/home.phtml

Thailand ~ 02-249-9977 or (02) 713-6793

Tonga ~ 23000 or 25144

Trinidad & Tobago ~ 868-645-2800

Turkey ~ 182

Ukraine ~ 0487 327715 or 0482 226565 ~ dovira058.netfirms.com

United Kingdom ~ 8457 90 90 90 or 8457 90 91 92 ~ http://www.samaritans.org/

United States ~ 911 ~ 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433 ~ http://suicide.org/ ~ http://suicide.com/s...decrisiscenter/ ~http://suicide.org/s...e-hotlines.html

Misc.

~ En Español ~ 1-800-784-2432 ( 1-800-SUI-CIDA )

~ Veterans ~ 1-877-838-2838 ( 1-877-VET-2VET )

~ Youth ~ 1-877- 968-4843 ( 1-877-YOUTHGUIDE )

Uruguay ~ 095 73 8483 ~ http://www.ultimorecurso.com.uy/

Yugoslavia ~ 021-623-393

Zimbabwe ~ (9) 650 00 or 080 12 333 333 or (20) 635 59 ~ http://www.befriende....sp?c2=zimbabwe

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Your frustration is understandable, but some people don't come here for the advice. Sometimes all we need is somebody who understands, somebody to tell us everything will be okay.

Edited by Waffles

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((((((((((((Acrowley)))))))))))

I don´t think we are all unhappy. I´m not unhappy any more. I´m in remission after a long battle. It takes time and patience and there are dark passages in between, but you are getting there, although the journey seems to be slow.

Structure in your daily life is the key. List of gratitude as well, because it shuts down the negative depression talk. Welcoming the pain for the purpose of learning from it is another key factor in recovery.

I hope year 2013 will be a breakthrough year for you.

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I'm sorry if I was inappropriate or anything, my mind is jumping from platform to platform at the moment, and I just feel angry and bitter, hence the rant. I think I'm going to leave the website for good now, whatever purpose it had, personally, is gone.

Seabeach- Worry not, I'll be ok, and I've saved the numbers relevant to me. Thank you.

Waffles- I'm sorry, I realise I must sound like a terrible terrible person. Try to understand, it's not that I don't want to offer support and sympathy, I just think the internet is too impersonal, and I have no energy to try and bridge that gap.

Violet- Thank you, and I'm delighted to hear that you have found happiness, I really am. I'm trying the list of gratitude at the moment.

Idk if I'm acting hugely self absorbed and important, but I think this is goodbye. If anyone wants to contact me, pm me for an email address, otherwise thank you for putting up with me, and sorry for acting like me. Good luck.

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Hi Acrowley,

You have not been inappropriate and we are happy to be there for you.

You are frustrate because of depression right now, but I´m hoping you will feel better soon.

Try CBT and relaxation and it will get better.

Sending you big hugs. :hugs:

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