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Crush On A Girl I Can't Have


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Hi, i'm prone to bouts of depression and I fear rejection as it usually triggers off "depressive episodes", so as you can imagine this latest misadventure concerning a lady has really knocked me down. I haven't felt this way about a woman in a long time, my ex whom I broke up with (actually she broke up with me, but thats neither here nor there now) 4 years ago was the last and only girl I've felt strong feelings for.

The problem is shes a mates sister, and its weird to me as I only met her once last week and we really got along. Ive been racking my head for the past week about asking her out, so I contacted my mate (her brother) about asking her out to see if it was OK with him as weird as the situation must have been for him. Turn out she has a boyfriend. Yeah.

Whats most depressing for me, is that shes probably the most special girl Ive talked with in a long time and the first Ive ever actually made steps to ask on a date since my first and only girlfriend. Obviously Im going to leave it at that, Im not going to make a big deal out of it, this happens in life. But what now? Wait around for somebody like her or better to come along only for the same thing to happen? I've also probably ruined my relationship with that particular friend aswell, though I hope not.

I'm such an *****.

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I'm sorry that happen to you and things seem going rough for you. Love is hard and not easy sometimes. Or even finding the right person. Please dont give up. Try and stay strong there be others in your life. The world is made for people to find each other. I wish I had more experiences or just a little that you had or anyone. I only know what I seen in love with people.

Just know there people here who will support you and give better advice than me. sorry I only know some stuff. But not mean I dont care for you..

Keep you head up high its not the end.

*smiles and hands you a :rose: to feel better. then bows respectfully to you*

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Doommantia, I'm very sorry you're going thru this. I've been there too and in my case it was also a significant trigger for one depression episode. What I was thinking, could it be helpful to you to try to 'channel' your feelings into something you do? For instance, writing a diary? Writing a short story based on your experience and feelings evolved from it? Singing along to suitable songs, or composing some pieces of music by yourself? How about a furious training session in the gym or a long solitude walk in a nearby forest or park? Do you have a trusted friend or psychologist you can talk to?

Of course, all these are just suggestions and I certainly can't know how they would work in someone else's case. Anyhow, I wish you'll find the coping mechanism (or several of them) most helpful to you. I'm sending you a big virtual hug and lots of strength for your journey. Take care. You will survive this :flowers:

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Hi there. If the chemestry is good between the two of you, I think you should be a bit patient. One day she'll breakup with her boyfriend. Dont live for that but leave yourself the door open. Meantime, if you see her again, be funny and try to build confort. Also it may sound cliche but there is millions of attractive girls in this world and if you can't have this one, you can have another one with the same potential of happiness.

Edited by vlad007
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Hi, i'm prone to bouts of depression and I fear rejection as it usually triggers off "depressive episodes", so as you can imagine this latest misadventure concerning a lady has really knocked me down. I haven't felt this way about a woman in a long time, my ex whom I broke up with (actually she broke up with me, but thats neither here nor there now) 4 years ago was the last and only girl I've felt strong feelings for.

The problem is shes a mates sister, and its weird to me as I only met her once last week and we really got along. Ive been racking my head for the past week about asking her out, so I contacted my mate (her brother) about asking her out to see if it was OK with him as weird as the situation must have been for him. Turn out she has a boyfriend. Yeah.

Whats most depressing for me, is that shes probably the most special girl Ive talked with in a long time and the first Ive ever actually made steps to ask on a date since my first and only girlfriend. Obviously Im going to leave it at that, Im not going to make a big deal out of it, this happens in life. But what now? Wait around for somebody like her or better to come along only for the same thing to happen? I've also probably ruined my relationship with that particular friend aswell, though I hope not.

I'm such an *****.

Yo, guy, you did the right thing by asking your buddy. He won't care, he'll appreciate you asking him.

Also, please keep in mind that you really don't know anyone after just one night, or one week. Your fantasy image of her is taking over. It's not realistic. I'm not saying she's not great - I'm more saying let it go, don't let your mind torture yourself over the illusion of some special connection. No one - I repeat, no one - has a special connection after such a brief encounter.

Edited by Lifeintheslowlane
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Thanks everybody for the kind words and words of advice. Of course I'm not going to continue dwelling on this particular crush, its her in particular Im upset about its the fact that every time I put some effort into life I'm knocked down every time. Its like Its meant to be that i'm unhappy & alone for life.

Obviously I don't wish to have a girlfriend for the sake of making myself happy. Thats selfish and its what drove the last relationship into the ground. I also don't wish to burden another soul with my problems. I know that I need to work on myself, and learn to love (or at least like) myself first. I just feel like that will never happen.

I also know I'm lucky to have friends and a family. I feel greedy and sick that crave more.

Edited by Doommantia
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