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Depression And Rumination

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I suffer from depression and for many years. I've been on most depression meds and am currently doing Cymbalta 60mg with trazodone, klonopin andf ambien for sleep. I divorced my wife of 26 years back in March 2012 and have since re-married my college girlfriend who left her husband and kids and moved 2,000 miles to be with me. We married in June 2012. She has been with me here in PA since December 2011. My wife and I are both 51. Long story short. My wife has an extensive sexual past including her ex-husband and others prior to him and before and after our relationship back in the 1980's. I am struggling with ruminating about her previous relationships and can't get a handle on it. I am experiencing severe jealousy over her past. Adding to my troubles, I lost my job back in September, and have way too much time on my hands. Anybody else have issues with ruminating? What has helped? Thank you.

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Hi garydh2000,

Sorry to hear you have lost your job on top of your depression. Rumination tends to take on a life of it own if you are not careful. It is like the other negative cycles of negativity that tend to flow in and you mentioned jealously. already.

​This is a mindset you really need to get out of immediately as it intensifies your depression . The best away is through both physical activity and deep meditation when in both you can really focus down on your work and in the other clear your mind and focus on mantra or something in nature.

When you are depressed you tend to be attracted to even more negative thoughts on top of the rumination and you get into a really vicious cycle.

Accepting where you are at the moment and then moving towards something you really want to happen in your life that is precious to you both is one key. The more passionate you feel about a goal then more you can focus on achieving it and take the initial steps to get there.

I hope you find a way out of your depression ,, please work at that.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

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I can kind of relate to this. I have problems with jealousy and rumination. I wish I could give you advice, but honestly it's been a strain on my relationship and I have trouble getting it in control. I sort of think it's the type of thing that will subside when my depression is under control, but right now my meds aren't doing much and haven't been for a while. The only things I know how to do are to communicate with your partner so they can reassure you that they love you and to distract yourself. And when you notice yourself ruminating, break the cycle and think of something else. Good luck.

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