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Lindsay

Motivational Thoughts

315 posts in this topic

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"So, why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people?

Because, once we have overcome the defeats--and we always do--we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives."

- Paulo Coelho

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The great discovery of Cognitive Behavioral Psychology was that feelings don't just instantly "happen" after an event. Feelings are awlays interpreted through an expectation first. Sometimes this "interpretation" takes place in a millisecond and is unconscious. But it is there all the same. This was a HUGE discovery in psychology. What is the interpretation that takes place first? An expectation. If a person "expects" himself or herself or others to be ideal or perfect, unwelcome events will seeminly "cause" them to feel great anger or disappointment or sadness. But it is not the event itself that is really causing the feeling. It is the event as "seen through" the expectation.

Why is this so important? Because sometimes reality cannot be changed to suit us. But we can almost always change our expectations. This is freedom. This is hope.

Two people experience a sad event. One is upset but bounces back while the other is crushed with sadness or anger. Why the difference? According to Cognitive Behavioral Psychology, the difference is the expectations the two people bring to their experiences. If you expect yourself or others or life itself to be ideal or perfect or near perfect, you are in for a life of frustration, disappointment and rage. But it is not "life" or "other people" or even "yourself" that is causing the misery. It is your expectations, often unrealistic expectations. What a huge discovery! But what a source of hope, because expectations can be altered and lowered.

One can wish or hope for better conditions. But the "demand" or "expectation" for perfection or near perfection is a source of misery. If one tells oneself that one can only be happy if things are "perfect" or "near perfect," how can the joy of life exist? One is demanding or expecting the impossible. The good news, the hopeful news is that expectations can be changed. This is the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Psychology. Therapists teach this skill. Books also teach it. So there is so much hope!

The discovery of the relation between expectations and emotions was a huge discovery as was the discovery or the neurobiology of depression and other mental illnesses. There is much to be hopeful about even in seemingly hopeless situations!

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One cannot be "put down" unless one is "held up. "Assuming" that one is a kind of 'nothing' whose nobility and dignity is in the hands of others who "hold one up" makes one vulnerable to distress when one feels "put down" or "let down." No one really has the remote control to one's nobility and dignity as a unique human person. Even if one has been conditioned from childhood on to "believe" that others have the remote control, they don't. That is an "imaginary" remote control with "imaginary buttons" not connected to anything but one's "belief" [illusion/delusion] that it is real.

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“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” - Lao Tzu

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Glad I found this thread.

+1 Thanks to the posters in here for the daily motivator link that's amazing.

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"Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well." And if you find that you aren't doing something at 100%, then it is time to ask yourself why are you doing it in the first place.

"Everyday I become a better person. Not for anyone, but for myself."

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"The next step you take may very well be the one that makes all the others count. You owe it to yourself, and the efforts you've made, to keep going.

No, the next step may not get you there. Yet what about the one after that? If you keep moving ahead, a little at a time, you will indeed arrive. When you take that final, triumphant step, you'll be so very thankful you persevered."

nice said, but sadly i dont have anything to go to. Thats why i just stay here and wait. Nobody is helping me anyway. Basicly im just waiting until my heart stops beating.

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"Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations"

"Stop wishing. Start doing"

"Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction."

"Be the best version of you."

"Make up your mind that no matter what comes your way, no matter how difficult, no matter how unfair, you will do more than simply survive. You will thrive in spite of it."

"Expect problems and eat them for breakfast."

"F.E.A.R. has two meanings. Forget everything and run OR face everything and rise. The choice is yours."

"You only fail when you stop trying."

"Be stubborn about your goals and flexible on the methods."

"Do something today that your future self will thank you for."

"You learn more from failure than success. Don't let it stop you. Failure builds character."

"Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit."

"There are two primary choices in life. To accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them"

"Never stop doing your best just because someone doesn't give you credit."

"Nothing great ever came that easy."

"No matter what happens, no matter how far away from the destination you are, never stop believing that you will somehow make it."

~ authors unknown
 

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In daily life, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.

-Brother David Steindl-Rast.

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