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Awful First Visit To The Clinic..


Tamer

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Okay, so i was supposed to meet my shrink today for the first time and was excited and nervous about it at the same time, i went to the clinic and waited for 15 minutes and all of a sudden a woman came in and started yelling " i don't know what was going on with her" but she kept yelling and cussing, and continued even after workers in the clinic tried to calm here down. it was really scary " i don't know whether it's because i'm extremely sensitive or the whole incident had triggered some bad memories, because in my childhood my parents used to yell and fight loudly all the time and each time it happened i felt scared and went to hide under the table" anyway, what made things worse that the doctor came to me and said he is sorry but he will need to take this patient in " even thought it was my appointment" and asked me to simply wait until he finishes with her,then i decided to leave " not because they wanted me to wait " but i just felt AWFUL and really horrified.

now i feel a little stupid and guilty for leaving the clinic, maybe i should have just waited and pulled myself together, but i was really really feeling bad. what do you guys think ? was it stupid that i left ? should i feel bad about it ?

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I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable and leaving. That's not exactly a great first impression! However, I do suggest contacting the doctor again and making another appointment. Don't be afraid to tell him how you felt about the situation, either.

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Apple Bloom thanks for the quick respond, it really did help me calm down a bit last night, i was really depressed

what made it worse is the fact that i study psychology ! second year but still.... it's been always my dream to become a clinical psychologist to help myself get better and help others, but how can i ever be a psychologist if seeing a mental patient going out of control makes me anxious and feel so bad ? i have always witnessed mom having panic attacks but i just dont know what happened to me all of a sudden.

anyway thanks again.

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Apple Bloom thanks for the quick respond, it really did help me calm down a bit last night, i was really depressed

what made it worse is the fact that i study psychology ! second year but still.... it's been always my dream to become a clinical psychologist to help myself get better and help others, but how can i ever be a psychologist if seeing a mental patient going out of control makes me anxious and feel so bad ? i have always witnessed mom having panic attacks but i just dont know what happened to me all of a sudden.

anyway thanks again.

I'm glad you're feeling better. :)

I also studied psychology - I hold a bachelor's - and I have social work in mind, so I often wonder how I would be able to handle patients/clients. At my current job I work with people with disabilties, not just physical but mental and psychological. Sometimes I surprise myself at how I'm able to help them handle their problems and cope, but yet I can't deal with my own half as well. I'm sure a number of psychologists suffer from depression, anxiety, and other illnesses. Sometimes they're the best ones because they really know what it's like and they are better able to empathize with their patients.

Keep in mind that you are still in the beginning stages of treatment. It will take some time before you are comfortable with yourself and feel more capable of handling stress. Also, it's good that you recognize that the stress of others may be an issue for you in a clinical setting. Having that insight lets us know our limits and whether or not we're making the right choice when it comes to our career.

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hey apple bloom

I feel the same way sometimes, most people tell me im truly supportive and know what to say and when to say it. I guess reading all these psychology books and self help books is the reason, and also having suffered from depression and GAD almost all my life, i can understand and relate to people's problems.

anyway i just called the clinic again and told the secretary how i felt, she said she is sorry but this does happen. she implied that some of the patients who come to the clinic are psychotic and they can behave like this. she said this doesn't really happen so often maybe like once a month or something " according to her".

Do you think i should go again ? i mean what's the worst thing that can happen, right ? or maybe just forget about the whole thing since it's obviously making me feel worse ?

Edited by Tamer
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hey apple bloom

I feel the same way sometimes, most people tell me im truly supportive and know what to say and when to say it. I guess reading all these psychology books and self help books is the reason, and also having suffered from depression and GAD almost all my life, i can understand and relate to people's problems.

anyway i just called the clinic again and told the secretary how i felt, she said she is sorry but this does happen. she implied that some of the patients who come to the clinic are psychotic and they can behave like this. she said this doesn't really happen so often maybe like once a month or something " according to her".

I dont wanna sound insensitive but honestly i felt i was a normal sane guy locked up in a nuthouse ! see the problem here in the middle east is that people aren't so open and don't understand a lot about Psychopathology, so they only bring the mentally ill members of their family to treatment when they hit rock bottom and " lose sanity". i'm not insane, i'm the top student of the whole psychology department at our school but i'm simply depressed, so being there made me feel worse about myself.

Do you think i should go again ? i mean what's the worst thing that can happen, right ? or maybe just forget about the whole thing since it's obviously making me feel worse ?

Considering the stigma regarding mental illness that still exists here in the States, I can't imagine what it must be like for you in the Middle East.

Honestly, I'd feel the same way if I walked into my therapist's office and was met with some stranger screaming at the top of their lungs. It's very intimidating when you're in a fragile and emotional state, preparing to pour your heart out to another stranger. It's understandable that you would doubt yourself and wonder, "What are my problems compared to this person?" Try not to let those feeling discourage you. Depression is an illness, just as valid as any other, and it needs treatment.

I would give it another shot. Since you've already expressed your concerns, maybe the receptionist can schedule an appointment on a day with typically "calmer" patients. I suggest at least meeting the doctor and judging him based on his treatment and the help (or lack of) he provides. If you don't care for him, you can find someone else.

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I've had a handful of appointments with both my therapist and psychiatrist significantly delayed because they had to go deal with emergencies involving other patients. It's kind of hard to deal with when you're there specifically because you feel unimportant and that nobody cares about you, that's for sure! On the other hand, I wouldn't want to trade places with the people who caused me to get bumped, either. I guess it's just something you have to get used to, now that I've been through it a few times it doesn't bother me any more.

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