Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Sink_into_Darkness

What Not To Say To Depressed People...

Recommended Posts

I haven't seen a thread that relates to what not to say to depressed individuals. Apparently one of my friends the other day told me that depression means you're just bored and the doctors are just using you to milk some dough... Ended that friendship quick...

So I would like to see a thread that focuses on what not to say to depressed individuals. I feel this will also help out others who have friends and family members going through a hard time that they wish to support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't seen a thread that relates to what not to say to depressed individuals. Apparently one of my friends the other day told me that depression means you're just bored and the doctors are just using you to milk some dough... Ended that friendship quick...

So I would like to see a thread that focuses on what not to say to depressed individuals. I feel this will also help out others who have friends and family members going through a hard time that they wish to support.

I think the closest thread we have is related to all the social stigmas related to depression. I must say what your friend said is truly a new one for me. I can certainly think of better ways to ease any boredom I feel, and wouldn't choose depression as a means of fulfillment.

Sincerely,

MaddieLouise

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Go out and get social"

"Just do some exersise and make yourself tired"

"There's nothing wrong with you" (hate that one in particular because it they don't take me seriously)

"You're just doing it for attention" Are you kidding me? That's just the most hurtful thing to hear. Wich healthy person would pretent to be sick for attention?

Edited by Broken_girl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"You're making a big deal out of nothing." "Don't take life so seriously." "You need to stop focusing on the negative and keep your head up high." "You're doing it for attention." "There are people who have it far worse than you." (So what? Doesn't mean they aren't depressed either and it doesn't mean I have the same tolerant mindset they have either.) That one pi**es me off the most.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got this one at the dentist when he asked what meds I was taking so as not to interfere with a sedative he was giving me:

"You're not going to start screaming, or crying and jumping around are you?"

He was dead serious. I was furious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A family member actually told me when I get depressed or feel down to have a drink of alcohol! They were actually serious (and not an alcoholic themselves, for the record!). I thought this was an outrageous and dangerous comment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A family member actually told me when I get depressed or feel down to have a drink of alcohol! They were actually serious (and not an alcoholic themselves, for the record!). I thought this was an outrageous and dangerous comment.

Actually someone has told me that as well some time. She'd be like, maybe you need to drink some alcohol to see life diffrently. I'm like, are you kidding me? I am not going to self medicate myself with alcohol..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That you are a drama queen

That you need to "pick yourself up by your bootstaraps and get back to the grindstone"

That there are children starving in _____ (whatever) country, so you are spoiled.

That the world owes you nothing, so get your self out there and look for a job..

That you are acting like a spoiled child.

"Take a walk or eat someting and you'll feel better"

That you are defective and "wasting money" on medication and therapy, bcs its all 'hoax'

That you are a loser, and feeling sorry for yourself.

There are many more. I noticed alot of 'friends' who are older grew up in a shame and blame society which considers therapy to be "indulgent".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got this one at the dentist when he asked what meds I was taking so as not to interfere with a sedative he was giving me:

"You're not going to start screaming, or crying and jumping around are you?"

He was dead serious. I was furious.

omg.

I had a dentist like that. I was on Elavil and he asked why. I was like ...depression...

he said "what are you depressed about" condescendingly.

unbelievable.

Thats when I learned to never talk about this with people who dont get it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get "what do you have to be depressed about" all the time, most notably from a pharmacist who was refilling my AD prescriptions. Then he said "just be happy! it's easy!" lol. If only.

when a pharmacist said something similar, I said "are you an M.D.?"

sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I will not give in to people like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The things I've been told..."try harder" "you need to get laid/exercise/go out more" "you need a hobby" "have you been to CAPS" (the free short-term campus clinic) "you're too lethargic"

I could go on, but it's starting to get depressing

I think the you need to get laid is the worst...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"What have you got to be depressed about?" (Don't forget to add a look of annoyance)

"Ah, get over it!"

"You don't know what depression is!"

"Whatever."

All these have been said to me at one point or another.

The "getting laid" one is a classic though. I've heard that one a time or two. I've also been told to go take a long walk in the sun since that will cure me in an instant.

I am not sure how to write this since I don't want to cause trouble so I'll try to clean it up as much as I can:

I tried to open up to a friend once and her reply to me was that I was nothing but a "hot dog-less" wonder.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like to think of responses to the things that people say but don't say anything back to them as I find their not worth the effort plus it would provoke more of the stuff.

For me it is things like:

"It's a lovely day outside" - Me: So go outside then

"You need to move on" Me: That's good coming from you who can't even throw anything material away from the past

"You always look happy" Me: Doesn't mine I am and your not a ray of sunshine yourself

"You need a hobby" Me: I have one and it's called hating you

"You don't look ill to me" Me: Of course it's always about how I am on the outside

"You aren't that ill" Me: Your not me so don't lecture me on how I am as a person

"It's about time you got up" Me: So do me a favour and get out of my way

Edited by Tungsten Aromatics

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...