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Answers To Curing Anhedonia/numbness/apathy, No. 1


itstrevor

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Hi all,

I've only just joined the forum, but I've been lurking on this thread for some time now and wanted to add my two cents (whatever its worth given a thread this long).

Thanks to both therapy and medication my depression has recently evolved from despair into anhedonia. Like some of the other members I experience what might be called 'windows', very brief periods where I'm able to experience an emotion or two. These are usually related to humor and beauty, in that I might chuckle at something or be moved to tears. Barring these moments, however, I'm emotionally numb most of the time. Things that used to get me worked up and excited, whether positively or negatively, no longer have such an effect. I'm almost always in a state of anxious anticipation for my next visit with the psychiatrist, to see if the next medication or treatment will finally work. So far nothing has worked well, and my anhedonia continues to leave me feeling empty inside.

Presently I've started on a combination of Focalin XR 15mg and Abilify 5mg. Though Focalin is mainly an ADHD drug, I've taken it once before and had more intense emotional reactions as a result (I only discontinued it due to heart-palpitations). I'm hoping for the same now, but so far I'm just getting the increased focus, and am fearful that this is another dud.

Finally, a question: Has anyone here had success with recovering from anhedonia, even temporarily, due to non-medication-related treatments? If so, what was the treatment?

What do you mean by evolved? do you consider the anhedonia to be a better place than despair or do you mean that the anhedonia is a side effect of the medication that you take?

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personally i can say that over the past year ive had pretty constant and sustained improvement in my anhedonia symptoms. unfortunately i cant nail it down to one substance or one activity. what i tried:

ritalin / methilphenidate : didnt do jack besides making me more talkative. trialed a couple of weeks, not taking it anymore

modafinil : interesting and quickening substance, but made me feel weird after a couple of hours. also not particularly effective on the mood brightening side. trialed a couple of weeks, taking it from time to time

tianeptine: very benign and mild medication from france. had a definite effect on anticipatory anhedonia and everything LOOKED more beautiful. i could just stare at the powdered chocolate melting in the warm milk and be amazed. its a bit of a "forum talk" med but i find it really can not hurt. It had a bit of an anti cholinergic vibe to it, somehow after i got off of it, i felt so much better, even better than before. weird and beautiful.

lately ive been on testosterone replacement therapy and while it makes me feel "younger" and "fresher", im still bitter and theres nothing i find interesting and rewarding. So im gonna kick it soon.

What i think helped a lot is bacopa monnieri + gotu kola long term supplementation, and tianeptine.

as soon as i get off of TRT ill try to stay """clean"" of any med for a month and see how it goes...

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my perosnal take on anhedonia is that it is the place where your brain sends you once he cant take it anymore, kind of shutting everything down... so thats probably a worst place to be than despair, because despair pushes you to reaction

That is how i see it too.

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I just read an interesting case report where a case of major depression with melancholic symptoms and very severe anhedonia (SHAPS score 11) was succesfully treated with 50 mg/d of agomelatine (1). Particularly normalization of SHAPS to SHAPS score of 1 was interesting, also in light of earlier clinical trials of effects of agomelatine on anhedonia.

(1) Successful Use of Agomelatine in the Treatment of Major Depression in a Woman Taking Tamoxifen: A Case Report

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Hi all,

I've only just joined the forum, but I've been lurking on this thread for some time now and wanted to add my two cents (whatever its worth given a thread this long).

Thanks to both therapy and medication my depression has recently evolved from despair into anhedonia. Like some of the other members I experience what might be called 'windows', very brief periods where I'm able to experience an emotion or two. These are usually related to humor and beauty, in that I might chuckle at something or be moved to tears. Barring these moments, however, I'm emotionally numb most of the time. Things that used to get me worked up and excited, whether positively or negatively, no longer have such an effect. I'm almost always in a state of anxious anticipation for my next visit with the psychiatrist, to see if the next medication or treatment will finally work. So far nothing has worked well, and my anhedonia continues to leave me feeling empty inside.

Presently I've started on a combination of Focalin XR 15mg and Abilify 5mg. Though Focalin is mainly an ADHD drug, I've taken it once before and had more intense emotional reactions as a result (I only discontinued it due to heart-palpitations). I'm hoping for the same now, but so far I'm just getting the increased focus, and am fearful that this is another dud.

Finally, a question: Has anyone here had success with recovering from anhedonia, even temporarily, due to non-medication-related treatments? If so, what was the treatment?

What do you mean by evolved? do you consider the anhedonia to be a better place than despair or do you mean that the anhedonia is a side effect of the medication that you take?

I mean that, once I had an opportunity to work through some of the personal issues motivating the depression, I went from negative to neutral. This shift was mainly due to one-on-one conversation and CBT, and I don't know if any meds I took at the time resulted in the anhedonia as a side effect. My own theory is that the anhedonia actually started a couple of years ago, and that the despair came in on top of it due to personal issues I was struggling with. Now that the personal issues have been dealt with all that's left is the baseline, 'no-pleasure' state. I could be wrong (and in some ways probably am), but that's how I see it for now.

I obviously cannot (and will not) speak for anyone else on this matter, but for me the anhedonia represents a much better place than where I used to be. I may not feel much, but this non-feeling is tolerable in comparison to my worst days and experiences. That reality, coupled with the fact that I've really improved over the last couple of years, sustains my hope that things can still get better.

Edited by MindfulGuy
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I am 21 years old and i grew up in a dysfunctional family with my older brother and older sister, I've always felt like a passenger in life, not really motivated for anything and no desire to learn new things, never had any real interests besides computer gaming which don't give me much joy anymore because I'm so unmotivated.


I never cared for school, always trying to take the easy way out in everything, cheating on tests, copying other students work, always relying on someone els to do stuff for me etc.


I've never had a will of my own or a drive to do stuff, always following others.


One of the biggest problems I have is that it feels like I have no personality of my own, for as long as I can remember I've always copied someone elses personality that I am with in order for them to like me I suppose, I was afraid of geting abandoned if I was myself, afraid of not being liked. I've been doing this for so long that I just don't know what my personality is if I try to be myself, I don't know who I am at all and what I stand for, what my beliefs are.. I don't even know what I like and dislike, whenever I've been with someone I always agree with their opinion because I just don't have any opinion of my own, I am completely apathetic.



I have difficulties learning new things because I just don't care, how do you learn when you are so in your head and can't concentrate on anything? I tried to force myself learning to play guitar but I just don't understand anything, nothing get's stuck in my head, it's so ******* frustrating. whenever someone explains things to me I just say "uh huh, oh okay, yea I see" etc when in reality I don't understand and I don't learn anything they've said, makes me feel ******* stupid but I know that I'm actually not stupid, I just don't know what the **** is wrong with me..



I think I had ADHD as a child since I was so problematic in school, bullying classmates, never doing what I should in class, having alot of disputes with teachers etc, which later progressed to ADD-PI(Predominantly inattentive) since I am the opposite of hyper.



I feel completely apathetic and indifferent to everything, no emotions, no motivation, no interests, I have difficulties speaking even to my family because I'm so in my head all the time, I just have nothing to say to anyone, if I say something it's pre thought out which makes me sound like a robot, i have no initial response to anything, it's like I'm dead inside, just an empty shell.



I got a job in sales in november and it's been very difficult, the job itself is actually very good but I feel so useless at doing my job for the reasons above, I think to myself it's only a matter of time before they fire me, I mean it's common to be bad at something in the beginning, however if you don't improve on your job then they'll eventually get tired of the incompetence.


The only thing I do on my spare time that is productive is working out at the gym since 2 years ago but I have no motivation for it, it's just something I force myself to do and I don't have any drive to learn more or get better. The rest of my spare time is spent either on the couch or sitting at the computer googling mental illness just to waste time... I feel like I'm wasting so much time of my life but at the same time it feels like there's nothing I can do about it.



It took me along time to start with medication, I am currently on wellbutrin 150mg since 10th of januari, I experienced the honeymoon period of the wellbutrin for 1-2 weeks and felt amazing, better than I've ever felt before, it felt like all my problems just vanished and it wasn't manic, after that i slowly but steady fell back down to where I was before and have felt no improvement yet.



Anyone who can relate or has any advice on what I can do to improve my situation?


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i can relate, a bit. family is actually normal and supportive tho.

but the bit about concentrating and learning is kind of 100% me. I have to learn by doing, theory does not work.

the problem is probably the loss of drive and ambition that derives from the lack of enjoyment of things...

what you could do: ask your doctor to add fluoxetine or some ssri to the mix. I say fluoxetine because its one of the most "activating" of ssri.

Its actually what i took years ago, and while i was on it, besides erectyle disfunction, it worked good. I blame my anhedonia on it, but i think im wrong.

i have found a thread on some other forums named "moclobemide literally cured me" where a couple of persons, wich described themselves very nearly as you do, had good improvement with moclobemide.

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hey guys..

I know its been forever since my last post even though i doubt anyone really noticed lol. But really enjoyed reading the posts, it really is nice to read peoples experiences and things and just thoughts, and gravity thanks.

Oh and for the past few months since like september or august until like, novemberI got into this game... league of legends. I do enjoy it but it makes me feel so so much more apathetic afterward because it's so stressful. I just had to give it up... was causing too much problems. Does anyone else get enjoyment out of intense gaming? Like PvP type of games? I dunno I always have, even at the times I felt the worst but the thing is I would only feel so much worse after.

I have been really bad lately... going out way too much even though I know its really bad for me like drinking so much, like a whole 750ml in one night and doing that a few nights a week. What's weird is.. this anhedonia started from a night after I had binged drink, and then things were way worse to the point alcohol literally had no effect on me and so I stopped drinking for a lonngg time. Then I decided to try it again and the feelings of it came back... but then I started drinking a lot again.

But the past few weeks I decided to combine my drinking with phenibut, it's like a gaba agonist, it does feel real good but wow it really fcked up my sleep and just everything... I was doing phenibut for most of the day a few days, now for this past week my sleep has been SO bad, and ive also developed this weird... itch. Like such bad itching it keeps me from falling asleep just itching all over.

Besides that I did start taking the L-methyfolate 10mg, which is pretty much prescription strength like deplin, but hella lot cheaper. It was on amazon for like 50 bucks and 90 day supply I just ran out sadly amazon doesn't have it anymore but they have a similar one but it's like 65 dollars and not as strong oh well.

But I think it did help... I think it could have helped more but I started doing some real bad drinking andd stresful things since I started taking it.

Anyways adding to that about methyfolate I found this site about histadelia, I actually found it through looking up my issue with the itching (which is caused from high histamine which is known as histadelia) but the site was really good and talked about how high histamine is caused from MTHFR gene defect, which causes high homocysteine. I've always kinda known I've had high histamine, I remember in high school my neck and arms would sometimes get super red from just scratching it, people would be like " wow what happened to your neck " and I'd be like.. what are you talking about then I'd look in the mirror and there'd be like a big red patch on my neck .

Well this doctor or whatever says to treat high histamine you actually don't even use l-methyfolate but other supplements the protocol is as follows:

methionine 500 mg half an hour before each meal and 500 mg on an edgy stomach before bed. You could substitute or even add SAM-e 400-1600 mg on top of the methionine in the beginning to get quicker results. You could give up the SAM-e once you get the desired results off. With methionine and SAM-e always include B6 to control homocysteine.
· B6 250 mg in the morning.
· Calcium 500 mg twice per day.
· Add magnesium 400 mg as it as it is calming, and balances the calcium.
· Vitamins C 1000-2000 mg twice per day.
· Inositol 1000 mg twice per day.
Sam-E and insitol already are known for their antidepressant effects, they have been shown to be as effective as antidepressants with hardly any side effects.
Well I bought both sam-e and inositol, b6 and already have been taking b complex and magnesium. But getting histamine and methylation back to normal can take many months so I think that even if you don't feel much of a difference doesn't mean it's not doing something. I think this thing started from very young and stress makes your body's ability to methylate harder, which is why many of us it starts from stress of some sort, which alters the HPA axis which conversely affects sleep and your body's ability to properly respond to stress, like a vicious cycle.
I would highly suggest to just browse this site: http://www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk/2/Welcome.html
It has a lot of just really good information about neurotrasmitters and stress and depression and things like it.
I wish I knew you guys more which sounds weird, it's just nice to know there's people that can relate, VS the constant friends/ people I have to just either hide it because literally no one understands or when I do tell them them just "trying to help" but honestly most of the time it's just hurtful cuz they say things that are just so ignorant it's so frustrating. here's my facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joe.harbour.39 I suppose I just feel like on here you are just some message on a thread but even though it doesn't really change anything it would be cool to know one more than just outsidide the site. I'll try to be much more active, plus if anyone ever wants to talk im on my fb more to get a hold of me. I live in Temecula if anyone knows or heard of that, in southern california.
ugh sorry my posts are sometimes so long. K think that's it for now. <3
Edited by ecstazy
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I am 21 years old and i grew up in a dysfunctional family with my older brother and older sister, I've always felt like a passenger in life, not really motivated for anything and no desire to learn new things, never had any real interests besides computer gaming which don't give me much joy anymore because I'm so unmotivated.

I never cared for school, always trying to take the easy way out in everything, cheating on tests, copying other students work, always relying on someone els to do stuff for me etc.

I've never had a will of my own or a drive to do stuff, always following others.

One of the biggest problems I have is that it feels like I have no personality of my own, for as long as I can remember I've always copied someone elses personality that I am with in order for them to like me I suppose, I was afraid of geting abandoned if I was myself, afraid of not being liked. I've been doing this for so long that I just don't know what my personality is if I try to be myself, I don't know who I am at all and what I stand for, what my beliefs are.. I don't even know what I like and dislike, whenever I've been with someone I always agree with their opinion because I just don't have any opinion of my own, I am completely apathetic.

I have difficulties learning new things because I just don't care, how do you learn when you are so in your head and can't concentrate on anything? I tried to force myself learning to play guitar but I just don't understand anything, nothing get's stuck in my head, it's so ******* frustrating. whenever someone explains things to me I just say "uh huh, oh okay, yea I see" etc when in reality I don't understand and I don't learn anything they've said, makes me feel ******* stupid but I know that I'm actually not stupid, I just don't know what the **** is wrong with me..

I think I had ADHD as a child since I was so problematic in school, bullying classmates, never doing what I should in class, having alot of disputes with teachers etc, which later progressed to ADD-PI(Predominantly inattentive) since I am the opposite of hyper.

I feel completely apathetic and indifferent to everything, no emotions, no motivation, no interests, I have difficulties speaking even to my family because I'm so in my head all the time, I just have nothing to say to anyone, if I say something it's pre thought out which makes me sound like a robot, i have no initial response to anything, it's like I'm dead inside, just an empty shell.

I got a job in sales in november and it's been very difficult, the job itself is actually very good but I feel so useless at doing my job for the reasons above, I think to myself it's only a matter of time before they fire me, I mean it's common to be bad at something in the beginning, however if you don't improve on your job then they'll eventually get tired of the incompetence.

The only thing I do on my spare time that is productive is working out at the gym since 2 years ago but I have no motivation for it, it's just something I force myself to do and I don't have any drive to learn more or get better. The rest of my spare time is spent either on the couch or sitting at the computer googling mental illness just to waste time... I feel like I'm wasting so much time of my life but at the same time it feels like there's nothing I can do about it.

It took me along time to start with medication, I am currently on wellbutrin 150mg since 10th of januari, I experienced the honeymoon period of the wellbutrin for 1-2 weeks and felt amazing, better than I've ever felt before, it felt like all my problems just vanished and it wasn't manic, after that i slowly but steady fell back down to where I was before and have felt no improvement yet.

Anyone who can relate or has any advice on what I can do to improve my situation?

I can honestly relate to some of this stuff.

Anhedonia can definitely lead to trouble with following others' opinions and learning difficulties. If you have a hard time reacting to anything, then it follows that nothing will stimulate you with the new ideas/emotions needed for your sense of identity. In that kind of situation its pretty easy to have someone else do the thinking for you. Likewise it follows that if nothing stimulates you then you're gonna have trouble with paying attention and forming memories, both of which are necessary to learning. I've personally had problems with both of these things, and at times it can be pretty terrible.

The feeling that anhedonia causes you to waste your time strikes a special chord with me too. In my view the condition basically forces you to watch life from behind a glass screen, leaving you unable to 'touch' or participate in its richness. When you combine that experience with the knowledge of what life can actually be, you're bound to think that you're squandering things. For me its such that I'm holding off on 'exciting' stuff until things get back to normal, as I don't want to spend great one-time moments feeling indifferent. Even so, however, I still feel like I'm not doing life justice.

My advice, if its worth anything, is to keep at it. The fact that your wellbutrin prescription helped you feel things again (even if temporarily) means you still have the capacity for emotion, which is a good sign. Hopefully you'll come across a good treatment really soon.

Edited by MindfulGuy
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I really think that all of these systems are linked are interrelated that we have been talking about in a complex way, and multiple systems are implicated in this depression/anxiety/apathy syndrome. Looking back at some notes I took soon after ECT, I am reminded of how central the NMDA glutamatergic system is in not only depression, but in schizophrenia as well, and how they are all connected. We see NMDA implicated in schizophrenia, but 5HT analogs also mimic psychosis. We also see psychosis with dopaminergic stimulants. All of these systems interplay with one another. I am really intrigued by the attention I gave to this topic months ago when I was researching this condition, and I'll post a few of my notes here (not sure if I shared them yet):

O2SOEUF.png

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I know that I am tapering early according to conventional approaches, but I want to take a more dynamic approach (taper gradually and if I begin to feel symptoms returning, gradually reinstate, sort of like a balancing act) with the goal of coming off of medications stable. There is literature suggesting that use of SSRIs can help prevent relapse, but if I feel relapse coming, I'll be ready to balance it out immediately and dynamically before it even starts.

We will see how this new approach goes. My newest idea is that if I can eliminate medications, anxiety, and depression, there will be nothing left to perpetuate the blunting, and with time I should return to normal.

Edited by itstrevor
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I will compile a condensed detailed guide with my experiences, theories, ideas, the results of all of my trials with different methods, proposed mechanisms, techniques and tools for combating symptoms, and more when I have the time. I am currently on approximately 35.16mg of sertraline (zoloft) (109 pill mg or 65% reuptake of SERT transporter) and using my method I have had no brain zaps or other signs of withdrawal. My hopes are that I can come off of zoloft gradually and gradually return to my hedonic state. I will add that my state right now is not entirely uncomfortable, and I have more evidence suggesting that this emotional blunting/apathy/depressive/anxiety syndrome is not permanent when handled correctly than to the contrary.

Right now I am working on an electric car project and I hope that I can turn it into a successful business venture in the near future (this is where my focus is primarily, as my animation project was discontinued due to a cease and desist letter from Nintendo).

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I am 21 years old and i grew up in a dysfunctional family with my older brother and older sister, I've always felt like a passenger in life, not really motivated for anything and no desire to learn new things, never had any real interests besides computer gaming which don't give me much joy anymore because I'm so unmotivated.

I never cared for school, always trying to take the easy way out in everything, cheating on tests, copying other students work, always relying on someone els to do stuff for me etc.

I've never had a will of my own or a drive to do stuff, always following others.

One of the biggest problems I have is that it feels like I have no personality of my own, for as long as I can remember I've always copied someone elses personality that I am with in order for them to like me I suppose, I was afraid of geting abandoned if I was myself, afraid of not being liked. I've been doing this for so long that I just don't know what my personality is if I try to be myself, I don't know who I am at all and what I stand for, what my beliefs are.. I don't even know what I like and dislike, whenever I've been with someone I always agree with their opinion because I just don't have any opinion of my own, I am completely apathetic.

I have difficulties learning new things because I just don't care, how do you learn when you are so in your head and can't concentrate on anything? I tried to force myself learning to play guitar but I just don't understand anything, nothing get's stuck in my head, it's so ******* frustrating. whenever someone explains things to me I just say "uh huh, oh okay, yea I see" etc when in reality I don't understand and I don't learn anything they've said, makes me feel ******* stupid but I know that I'm actually not stupid, I just don't know what the **** is wrong with me..

I think I had ADHD as a child since I was so problematic in school, bullying classmates, never doing what I should in class, having alot of disputes with teachers etc, which later progressed to ADD-PI(Predominantly inattentive) since I am the opposite of hyper.

I feel completely apathetic and indifferent to everything, no emotions, no motivation, no interests, I have difficulties speaking even to my family because I'm so in my head all the time, I just have nothing to say to anyone, if I say something it's pre thought out which makes me sound like a robot, i have no initial response to anything, it's like I'm dead inside, just an empty shell.

I got a job in sales in november and it's been very difficult, the job itself is actually very good but I feel so useless at doing my job for the reasons above, I think to myself it's only a matter of time before they fire me, I mean it's common to be bad at something in the beginning, however if you don't improve on your job then they'll eventually get tired of the incompetence.

The only thing I do on my spare time that is productive is working out at the gym since 2 years ago but I have no motivation for it, it's just something I force myself to do and I don't have any drive to learn more or get better. The rest of my spare time is spent either on the couch or sitting at the computer googling mental illness just to waste time... I feel like I'm wasting so much time of my life but at the same time it feels like there's nothing I can do about it.

It took me along time to start with medication, I am currently on wellbutrin 150mg since 10th of januari, I experienced the honeymoon period of the wellbutrin for 1-2 weeks and felt amazing, better than I've ever felt before, it felt like all my problems just vanished and it wasn't manic, after that i slowly but steady fell back down to where I was before and have felt no improvement yet.

Anyone who can relate or has any advice on what I can do to improve my situation?

I can honestly relate to some of this stuff.

Anhedonia can definitely lead to trouble with following others' opinions and learning difficulties. If you have a hard time reacting to anything, then it follows that nothing will stimulate you with the new ideas/emotions needed for your sense of identity. In that kind of situation its pretty easy to have someone else do the thinking for you. Likewise it follows that if nothing stimulates you then you're gonna have trouble with paying attention and forming memories, both of which are necessary to learning. I've personally had problems with both of these things, and at times it can be pretty terrible.

The feeling that anhedonia causes you to waste your time strikes a special chord with me too. In my view the condition basically forces you to watch life from behind a glass screen, leaving you unable to 'touch' or participate in its richness. When you combine that experience with the knowledge of what life can actually be, you're bound to think that you're squandering things. For me its such that I'm holding off on 'exciting' stuff until things get back to normal, as I don't want to spend great one-time moments feeling indifferent. Even so, however, I still feel like I'm not doing life justice.

My advice, if its worth anything, is to keep at it. The fact that your wellbutrin prescription helped you feel things again (even if temporarily) means you still have the capacity for emotion, which is a good sign. Hopefully you'll come across a good treatment really soon.

I also hold off on doing things until I get to a point where I can actually enjoy doing those things, I mean if it gives you nothing at all then what is the point? I rarely watch movies and tvshows for the same reason that I just can't enjoy them, I can't engulf myself in them, so again what is the point of doing anything if it gives you nothing? That's something I ask myself alot. However doing NOTHING at all only makes it worse, like laying in your bed staring at the ceiling all day is doing no good at all.

There is a clip from a movie of which I don't remember, it shows some guy just sitting still in a couch not moving at all, while people around are moving in fastforward, that's how I've felt for years, like my life is standing still and everybody els is moving forward, I'm observing life not participating.

I'm upping my dose from 150 to 300mg tomorrow, hoping it will eventually help me.

Thanks, I hope so too.

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well tbh im so apathetic and anhedonic that ic ant even read the longer posts on these threads..i get maybe a paragraph in and i give up..few things to say though.

MindfulGuy asked if anything has worked besides medication..ill say that exercise works somewhat and long hours out working in the sun seems to help a little but problem is, this leaves you tired so catch 22..keep in mind that exercise and long hours in the sun only gets me somewhat close to the level where normal people are..

lifelong passenger-yep, the feeling of wasting your life but at the same time realize you cant do much about it, can definitely empathize with you on that one..

i almost admire criminals who plan heists or other crimes, the passion they have to commit these things...or the nerd who is so sex-crazed that he will put in a ton of work to get laid..i cannot understand people like this as i have zero motivation, my libido is almost zero..just nothing there..

i was recently told by family that i should look into 'getting right with the lord' so that i could get more enjoyment out of life...i was just shaking my head in disbelief, people have no idea what anhedonia is like..

for those of you in your 20s, wow i urge you strongly to keep trying meds and exercise and just hope something clicks..you do not want to waste your 20s as it is crucial time for life experiences..

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Drugs (in my opinion) will create more problems than they will solve - they`re not natural, and our bodies aren`t designed to consume that crap! Why do they CAUSE anhedonia.......numbing......derealization.......depersonalization.....anger issues.......memory problems.......sexual problems etc etc etc - How can anything that induces such drastic symptoms be any good for you??? Synthetically altering your natural brain chemistry is asking for trouble.

I hope we ALL achieve the state of "normalcy" we crave and deserve - but I`m going the healthy and natural route, and all I can say is "so far, so good"

A positive attitute, and stopping all this obsessing and constant self observation goes a long way too - How can any of you expect to get better when you`re CONSTANTLY thinking about how you "feel"?? Live a little WITHOUT asking yourself the self defeating questions like "Why aren`t I enjoying this"....."Why can`t I feel".....simply live in the moment, and pay your condition NO ATTENTION - try concentrating on events OUTSIDE your head instead - with practice, this will become natural, and YOU WILL start noticing things again.

A lot of what we are experiencing is habit. We`re living "inside our minds" - trying to "solve" this puzzle of anhedonia.....when, in reality, we can`t do a thing - but wait! - Our brain naturally looks for answers when we feel something isn`t right......and that searching becomes an obsession for us....... Anhedonia becomes our life...our reality - it`s BOUND to, as it`s THE ONLY THING WE`RE THINKING ABOUT!!!

Tell yourself "I can handle this" - "I can live with this"......and MEAN IT.... Make your brain believe that this anhedonia poses NO DANGER to you anymore. Don`t be afraid of it, pay it no attention.....and slowly but surely, your mind will relax and get out of this "self-defence" mode it has put itself in.

Trust me...... our brains are simply in "self-defence" mode - blocking us from any further stresses/worries/possible danger etc - Whilst we still feel "danger" (i.e worry about anhedonia), our brains will remain in this defensive mode.

Add a healthy diet, some NATURAL vitamins etc etc - and hey presto.

Well.... almost a YEAR on, and I`m LOADS better!!! Not 100% by any means.....but the obsession is gone! The dark days are far less frequent, and I even manage the odd good day where I can actually FEEL somewhat!

Onwards and upwards

(P.S - Been taking NOW brand Rhodiola Rosea for a year) 3 weeks on, 10 days off.

Keep hanging in there guys

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^^problem is, many of us tried the 'natural, healthy route' for many years and it didnt work, thus it lead us to either self-medicate or get a doctor to prescribe us meds..i lived a very dedicated lifestyle geared towards eating right and working out and anhedonia was still present..

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On like 33mg of sertraline and my taper should be done before summer. So far no withdrawal effects whatsoever.

hello i have been reading this thread for a very long time. I am glad that you have accepted the fact that it is fueled by anxiety and stress. But im serious when i ask this. How much do you watch porn? how much do you *********? how much do you watch porn, and ********* at the same time?

Even if you don't do it that much, porn, and even just ************* can really mess up your dopemein in your brain. The more the do it, and get that "rush" THE MORE IT NUMBS YOUR BRAIN. it is known as brain fog. and not that many people know what it is. If you do at all, i highly recommend you head over to reddit.com/r/nofap and read all of the success stories. i am on day 5 right now and i am starting to notice that i can feel more feelings, even though it is slight. It's only been 5 days! It's all about returning your brain to a healthy state. you can read ALL about it there. and everyone is SO supportive

Please reply asap

the blocked out words are also refereed to as choking the chicken, or waxing the dolphin, or beating the meat. lol sorry just wanna make sure you know what i am referring to.

Edited by hiimandre
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On like 33mg of sertraline and my taper should be done before summer. So far no withdrawal effects whatsoever.

hello i have been reading this thread for a very long time. I am glad that you have accepted the fact that it is fueled by anxiety and stress. But im serious when i ask this. How much do you watch porn? how much do you *********? how much do you watch porn, and ********* at the same time?

Even if you don't do it that much, porn, and even just ************* can really mess up your dopemein in your brain. The more the do it, and get that "rush" THE MORE IT NUMBS YOUR BRAIN. it is known as brain fog. and not that many people know what it is. If you do at all, i highly recommend you head over to reddit.com/r/nofap and read all of the success stories. i am on day 5 right now and i am starting to notice that i can feel more feelings, even though it is slight. It's only been 5 days! It's all about returning your brain to a healthy state. you can read ALL about it there. and everyone is SO supportive

Please reply asap

the blocked out words are also refereed to as choking the chicken, or waxing the dolphin, or beating the meat. lol sorry just wanna make sure you know what i am referring to.

hi hiimandre

do you were porn addicted person?and what is the relation between this thread and porn?our problem is not porn and *************..

which one of this success stories were useful for you?

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hey guys..

I know its been forever since my last post even though i doubt anyone really noticed lol. But really enjoyed reading the posts, it really is nice to read peoples experiences and things and just thoughts, and gravity thanks.

Oh and for the past few months since like september or august until like, novemberI got into this game... league of legends. I do enjoy it but it makes me feel so so much more apathetic afterward because it's so stressful. I just had to give it up... was causing too much problems. Does anyone else get enjoyment out of intense gaming? Like PvP type of games? I dunno I always have, even at the times I felt the worst but the thing is I would only feel so much worse after.

I have been really bad lately... going out way too much even though I know its really bad for me like drinking so much, like a whole 750ml in one night and doing that a few nights a week. What's weird is.. this anhedonia started from a night after I had binged drink, and then things were way worse to the point alcohol literally had no effect on me and so I stopped drinking for a lonngg time. Then I decided to try it again and the feelings of it came back... but then I started drinking a lot again.

But the past few weeks I decided to combine my drinking with phenibut, it's like a gaba agonist, it does feel real good but wow it really fcked up my sleep and just everything... I was doing phenibut for most of the day a few days, now for this past week my sleep has been SO bad, and ive also developed this weird... itch. Like such bad itching it keeps me from falling asleep just itching all over.

Besides that I did start taking the L-methyfolate 10mg, which is pretty much prescription strength like deplin, but hella lot cheaper. It was on amazon for like 50 bucks and 90 day supply I just ran out sadly amazon doesn't have it anymore but they have a similar one but it's like 65 dollars and not as strong oh well.

But I think it did help... I think it could have helped more but I started doing some real bad drinking andd stresful things since I started taking it.

Anyways adding to that about methyfolate I found this site about histadelia, I actually found it through looking up my issue with the itching (which is caused from high histamine which is known as histadelia) but the site was really good and talked about how high histamine is caused from MTHFR gene defect, which causes high homocysteine. I've always kinda known I've had high histamine, I remember in high school my neck and arms would sometimes get super red from just scratching it, people would be like " wow what happened to your neck " and I'd be like.. what are you talking about then I'd look in the mirror and there'd be like a big red patch on my neck .

Well this doctor or whatever says to treat high histamine you actually don't even use l-methyfolate but other supplements the protocol is as follows:

methionine 500 mg half an hour before each meal and 500 mg on an edgy stomach before bed. You could substitute or even add SAM-e 400-1600 mg on top of the methionine in the beginning to get quicker results. You could give up the SAM-e once you get the desired results off. With methionine and SAM-e always include B6 to control homocysteine.
· B6 250 mg in the morning.
· Calcium 500 mg twice per day.
· Add magnesium 400 mg as it as it is calming, and balances the calcium.
· Vitamins C 1000-2000 mg twice per day.
· Inositol 1000 mg twice per day.
Sam-E and insitol already are known for their antidepressant effects, they have been shown to be as effective as antidepressants with hardly any side effects.
Well I bought both sam-e and inositol, b6 and already have been taking b complex and magnesium. But getting histamine and methylation back to normal can take many months so I think that even if you don't feel much of a difference doesn't mean it's not doing something. I think this thing started from very young and stress makes your body's ability to methylate harder, which is why many of us it starts from stress of some sort, which alters the HPA axis which conversely affects sleep and your body's ability to properly respond to stress, like a vicious cycle.
I would highly suggest to just browse this site: http://www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk/2/Welcome.html
It has a lot of just really good information about neurotrasmitters and stress and depression and things like it.
I wish I knew you guys more which sounds weird, it's just nice to know there's people that can relate, VS the constant friends/ people I have to just either hide it because literally no one understands or when I do tell them them just "trying to help" but honestly most of the time it's just hurtful cuz they say things that are just so ignorant it's so frustrating. here's my facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joe.harbour.39 I suppose I just feel like on here you are just some message on a thread but even though it doesn't really change anything it would be cool to know one more than just outsidide the site. I'll try to be much more active, plus if anyone ever wants to talk im on my fb more to get a hold of me. I live in Temecula if anyone knows or heard of that, in southern california.
ugh sorry my posts are sometimes so long. K think that's it for now. <3

did you realy have this vitamines and minerals deficiency?i mean did you had tests to proof that you need this vitamines?

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Hi, I didn't know there was actually a term for that 'nothing' feeling i often experience. Over psycosis, depression and anxiety, I think its probably the hardest thing for me to deal with. I often felt like a period of anhedonia would destroy any progress I have made to improve my own life, leaving me to rebuild. However something I have noticed lately is how anhedonia manipulates my memory. For example an event that I recorded as emotional and meaningful to me, seems meaningless, and unmemorable during and after a period of anhedonia. This perhaps made me feel like i was more emotionless than I actually am. I think this also made me mistake a period of emotion as a sign of personal improvement. It's still early days of improvement for me and im hoping the journal I'm now keeping will improve my emotional memory and allow me to keep my anhedonia in check.

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