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Angry And Miserable


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I am a Christian who has had depression and anxiety issues for a long time. Recently, I have been thrust into circumstances in which I have been increasingly angry and miserable, most definitely unhappy. I know God is in control and he never promised I would easily and happily sail through life. It's just that lately, I have wondered how long will this misery continue? Please don't say for as long as God needs to teach me whatever he is trying to get across to me. I pray and ask God for just a little joy but I don't detect anything. I feel the Lord does speak to me. This afternoon I had a crying spell, as I was talking to him, and and I sensed I should read my Bible. I have felt as if there has been a brick wall between myself and my Bible, like a presence preventing me from reading, so I haven't been reading it much, mostly just devotions. There is more to this anger-a person in my life that I feel is trying to compete with me for my mom's attention (her mother is deceased). This lady also lives (outside of marriage) with my brother, which is part of what bothers me, and she is unfriendly to me, but brings my mother food, and gifts for EVERY occasion (unnecessary). I am sure jealousy is in there somewhere along with lonliness (3 failed marriges, no man in my life, and few friends) She comes to visit when I am getting ready to go to work, or either I don't even know they are here, and they sure don't seek me out (I live with my mother because she is disabled). She also takes advantage of my brother in various ways, and is a very different person when she and my brother are alone. He hardly makes a move without her permission. When this lady visits my mother, it is all "sweetness and light," very fake-I can see right through her, and all she does is talk about herself. My mother seems oblivious to any of it or just doesn't care about my feelings. I am mostly bothered by all this when this lady comes over to visit or calls my mother. I guess I just wanted to vent. I just feel sad and lonely all the time, but loving God and seeking Jesus Christ does not prevent these feelings. :((

Edited by vabredbabe
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Hi vabredbabe

Loving God does not always take away the pain and turmoil in life, but just know that if you believe that good comes out of every bad situation. That I have experienced, sometimes it takes time. It can be hard to keep your faith when everything is going wrong and many people even question it. Your situation with this person sounds awful and it sounds like she has the wool over everyone's eyes. In time the truth always comes out and people will open their eyes. I hope it is sooner rather than later.

Trace

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