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What Are You Currently Thinking?

By stories, in DEPRESSION CENTRAL

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AntiNorm    38

AntiNorm
Posted

I'm just thinking (while fireworks go off, people are partying, and kids are trick o' treating outside) when will the economy fix itself so that people have jobs again so that those of us who live with the reality of unemployment and are trained, ready, and willing to work can actually work again?

And I mean real jobs for all segments of the population and for all levels of skill and for all sorts of professions. Unfortunately it may take some major social change before this happens - greed is too rampant with today's equivalent of robber barons, and all people think about are trying to get a piece of that without thinking what the implications are, or dreaming of schemes to shortcut the road to riches (be famous in any way possible!). It's just discouraging whenever a company "does better" the exec gets rewarded with some multi-million dollar bonus but it seems no jobs are created as a result. That or temporary and contract stuff that gets tossed out to the masses like they're doing us a favor. I'm not calling for class warfare or the creation of a welfare state (despite the fact that a basic support system needs to be in place that provides shelter and food - people will abuse any system no matter what but people who are merely victims of bad circumstances should not be punished like they are now). What needs to change are the attitudes of the powers that be, and the people who enable them. Whenever people talk about job creation numbers I laugh - how many of those "jobs" created are dead end jobs that pay like crap because the companies are too cheap to pay more than the bare minimum? How many of those "jobs" created will lead to fulfilling careers for people? How many of those "jobs" created will turn away perfectly good people who are willing to work because they are "overqualified" and thus will cost the company more to hire than unskilled labour - even if the person is willing to swallow his pride just to do an honest day's work to pay the rent?

Madness. All I ever wanted was to work at something I love, and retire comfortably, with or without a family. I never wanted to be Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs, and never wanted a large empty mansion or a useless fast car. All I want is the ability to go on vacation once a year, and be able to curl up on my couch and read a good book and relax without having to worry about being able to pay for the roof over my head (whether it be rent or mortgage). Is that too much to ask for? Apparently so, in today's world.

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Parker    32

Parker
Posted

I'm thinking today is going to be better than yesterday. I'm feeling hopeful, and I plan to do my best to keep this nagging depression at bay today.

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Seuss    118

Seuss
Posted

That I can feel the darkness tugging at the corners of my mind, I don't think I'm gonna be able to stop myself from giving in..............

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apple_bloom    579

apple_bloom
Posted

I am such a wuss when it comes to watching creepy/scary movies or TV, but I can't help myself. Just wish I could have someone to cuddle with while getting the bejeezus scared out of me.

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starla1979    614

starla1979
Posted

I wanna be cuddled too:( I feel full of love and inspiration right now, but also lonely and miles away..... a tiny speck on the earth. Everyone running around with their heads cut off. This world is insane, not us. I don't know

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apple_bloom    579

apple_bloom
Posted

I wanna be cuddled too:( I feel full of love and inspiration right now, but also lonely and miles away..... a tiny speck on the earth. Everyone running around with their heads cut off. This world is insane, not us. I don't know

:hugs:

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Pelly    45

Pelly
Posted

I am such a wuss when it comes to watching creepy/scary movies or TV, but I can't help myself. Just wish I could have someone to cuddle with while getting the bejeezus scared out of me.

so am I!!!! I would watch Paranormal State and then research demons on the internet. I felt so scared & sick & literally ran to bed (where I thought demons were in there with me - and this was last year when I was 38 years old!!!). I'd also follow the Warrens and get scared. It's really interesting, but I can't take the fright. I guess the power of suggestion is too much for me. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual, but I also know anything could be possible so that stuff scares me silly!!!! Plus, when I think of my depression when looking into that stuff, the thought comes across that I could be possesed! Which is COMPLETE NONSENSE!!

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stories    8

stories
Posted (edited)

I just noticed I'm now an "Advanced Member," and all I could think of was that line from Invader Zim: "It's not stupid - it's advanced!" :laugh:

^First off, I love that show.

Second, I have scheduled the session with new therapist. I think this is actually going to work out. I already have "homework".

Third, how is it November already? I turn 22 in two weeks. What am I supposed to do then that I didn't do now? I'll probably be in the same state as I'm in now.

Edited by stories
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tormentedsoul    8

tormentedsoul
Posted (edited)

I was thinking about ending my life. I just don't want to live anymore. i'm not happy. what's the point to life if one isn't happy? i'm never going to amount to anything, i'm already 43 and unemployed, on disability and there is no end in sight. i will always be depressed because i am never granted success by the biggest a*s*o*e in the Universe: God. i was raised roman catholic and stopped going to church along time ago. going to church and praying to God is pointless. there probably isn't a God anyway. if there is a God i think he has a weird sense of humor. I want to die. i don't want to save myself or go to the hospital. i just want to die. i don't think it is a lot to ask. i have no reason to live. without purpose what is one's reason to live? i don't want to work. i hate even the idea of working, except if it made me uber rich like the guy who created Facebook. actually it is his fault i am even more depressed than usual. he became such a super success and it makes me feel even worse about myself. i should be a billionaire. i hate my life. i just want to die. i will try to overdose tonight so i can be free. suicide is all i think about. i can't hold a job and have no interest in going back to school (i want to be a billionaire or dead). if someone would shoot me in the head i would be so happy. it would all be over. i could be dead and happy and feel love. i would be free. no more pain no more jealousy or feelings of inadequacy (yep even at 43 still have those feelings which should have disappeared in my teens). i just suffer in life. i guess it is just my lot in life. when people try to talk me out of suicide and i don't end my life, they then wonder why i feel so sh*tty. it feels i am only living to make others happy. sometimes i try to not give up but then i get angry because i never get a break in life. is it too much to ask for me to be a billionaire like the a*s*o*e who created facebook? i wish he would get killed so i don't have to feel bad about myself anymore. everyone is successful but me. tonight i am going to make the effort to end it all. it is not like it is a great loss. i am a waste of space. i don't do anything and i just feel pain all the time. i want all that to end, you know? i am tired of hating myself and ther eis no way i will ever like myself so death is the answer. it just makes perfect sense. i don't even want to try to live. i give up. it is what i do best. you know i used to waste my time and call the suicide hotlines but i don't even bother anymore. what's the point in calling them? they don't change my life for me and i can't change my life. i am helpless. i want to die. is it ok for me to die now. it is all i think of. nothing ever goes right for me. i want to die. i just want to die. anyway, that was what i was thinking.

Edited by tormentedsoul
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Grovette    235

Grovette
Posted

I don't understand why so few people respond to my topics. Makes me feel even more weird and isolated. Then I feel pathetic for measuring myself by number of responses.

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Brokenme    441

Brokenme
Posted

I don't understand why so few people respond to my topics. Makes me feel even more weird and isolated. Then I feel pathetic for measuring myself by number of responses.

:hugs:

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