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The Ultimate DF Answering Machine


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how weird, but i am logged in :

Forum Error:

Sorry, an error occurred. If you are unsure on how to use a feature, or don't know why you got this error message, try looking through the help files for more information.

The error returned was:

Sorry, but you do not have permission to use this feature. If you are not logged in, you may do so using the form below if available.

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how weird, but i am logged in :

Forum Error:

Sorry, an error occurred. If you are unsure on how to use a feature, or don't know why you got this error message, try looking through the help files for more information.

The error returned was:

Sorry, but you do not have permission to use this feature. If you are not logged in, you may do so using the form below if available.

I also got the error message. Maybe that's the joke?

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Here you go for those that couldnt hear it, I have it set as my ring tone hehehe Psychiatric Answering Machine

"Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline...

If you are an obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly,

If you are codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you,

If you have multipule personalities press 3, 4, 5 and 6,

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship,

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you what number to press,

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, turn the phone around so you can hear this recording and press 9696969696969696,

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representitive comes on the line,

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state yourname, address, telephone number, social security number and your mother's maiden name,

If you have post traumatic stress, s l o w l y a n d c a r e f u l l y press 0,

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message before the beep, after the beep and before the beep, wait for the beep,

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you,

If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You will not be crazy forever,

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

We hope you have enjoyed our automated service but not too much, oh, look a birdy, tweet tweet.

Edited by Grits Girl
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