Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
TonyHotdog

Just Left New Job On First Day Of Training From Anxiety Attack.

Recommended Posts

Newbie here, just thought I would share my recent story :)

I know I'm new here, but I have been reading these forums for a month or so since I have been trying to get help for my GAD. I have had it for about 2 years not even knowing what was going on. I can't go to resturaunts without feeling anxiety. I can barely make it through going grocery shopping with my girlfriend. I worked a 9-5 job for the last 2 and a half years which was pretty laid back and I was comfortable at. I had seen A LOT of people come and go but have made good friends with the ones who have stayed. I felt completely fine at this job. Recently I got the chance to interview for a very big and popular internet company for their call center. It paid more than what I was making at my last job, and I had worked in a call center before, so I thought no big deal. First was an interview on the phone, which I passed of course. Then came the time I had to go there for an internet and typing test. I knew I was going to ace it, but all day I was feeling super anxious. Even on my way there I felt I had to pull over a few times because I felt like I was going to be sick or faint. I got there and waited around, which was TERRIBLE. After they called us in (2 other people were there to take the test,) I sat at a computer and felt like I needed to get the hell out of there. I rushed through the test (which was super easy) and got up and looked for the test lady so I could tell her I was done and get out of there. She pulled me aside to say I passed and they wanted a face to face interview. So I am dreading the next day that I have to go do the face to face interview. Again, I feel sick on my way there, and start to breathe very heavily. I get in there, and there are a few other people waiting for an interview. So I sit down awkwardly and try not to show that I'm starting to get that feeling. After we listen to some calls, another interviewer comes in and pulls me into a separate room, which at this time I felt like running to my car and driving home. She starts with a question that I didn't even hear since all I could think about was running to the trashcan and throwing up then fainting or something. So I stumble on my words and apologize and say there was some flu going around my work (which there was,) and proceed to answer the question. After about 15 minutes, the interview is over and it went pretty well and I jumped in my car and headed back to work. Needless to say they called a couple days later and I got the job, but it started 3 weeks later. For that entire time I have been dreading going there for my first day. I had some time off in between jobs and I spent some time with my friend. I recently started to have anxiety attacks even when I'm at their residence just hanging out with him. A few weeks ago I said screw this, I NEED HELP! So I talked to my mother, who told me she has had the same thing for about 4 years now. I went to the doc and she prescribed me Lexipro to take every day and some Xanax on a need be basis. So some of the time I had off I spent going to Kansas City with my girlfriend. We were going to be going to Oceans of Fun and Worlds of Fun. We ended up only going to Oceans of Fun, since I tried to ride one ride and I had an anxiety attack and had to get off. Most of the time there we were isolated, so it wasn't too troublesome. So we decided not to go to Worlds of Fun since I wouldn't be able to go on any of the thrill rides. We came back a day early. SO NOW TO TODAY! I had my first day of training and the second I got there, it happened. I started feeling like I was going to pass out. Some trainers came around and introduced themselves, and every time they did I felt like I was burning up and going to faint. Not even 20 minutes into it, the group was standing around and we were getting ID badges made, and I had to get out of there. I talked to a security guard, and said I have to be let back up to the lobby. He opened there door, and I was out of there. I was p***** at myself, and I don't cry often, but I did in anger and hatred of this stuff. Now I am not sure what to do with myself. I have only been on the Lexepro for 6 days, and I know it takes a little more time to work, but I can't even consider looking for a new job until I know I'm ready. I know my other family members besides my mother are going to look down on me since they all have degrees with great paying jobs. I burned my bridge at the job mentioned earlier, so I feel like there's nothing I can do until I know this medication works or helps me get better. Sorry for the long story, just felt I needed to share.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tonyhotdog

You are only 6 days into lex, I am not a professional, but it can make you feel worse for up to 4 to 8 weeks, so that could also have added to the anxiety. Starting a new job, especially the first day is really difficult. Xanax is normally really good and quick acting when you need it. Did you take any with you? Is there anyway that you could talk to the people at this job and explain a little about what happened?

Trace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tonyhotdog:

I am in my 40's, and I have had several of the experiences you mentioned. Many of them were before I even knew what anxiety was, and before I was diagnosed. One of the first jobs I had, I was sick to my stomach almost daily. I finally got a job at a place that I felt very at home with, and like you, was very comfortable working there. After 10 years, I quit there because of mounting stress caused by difficult co-workers. My next job opp, I almost walked out on the first day, but I didn't. I worked there for four months. I got a really good job (also in a call center). I had lots of anxiety every day, but it got so bad after three months or so that I walked out on my break and never came back. Because of anxiety, I have turned around in the parking lot and gone home, instead of going to an interview. I have walked out in the middle of testing for a job. I've accepted a job, and then not show up. I've freaked out before and after job interviews. Anxiety is the reason I have been unemployed for a long time.

A lot of people say that everyone is nervous when getting a new job. Anxiety is a million times worse that the "normal" nervousness many people feel when applying, interviewing, or starting a new job. I think many people feel that I am lazy, and that is why I don't try harder to get a job, but it is overwhelming fear. It had taken me a long time, at the job I held for 10 years, to get comfortable there. When I left, I could never find a place I could get comfortable in. It is understandable to want to be in a comfortable place, or to go back to a comfortable place after experiencing an uncomfortable one.

I don't know that I have any advice for you, but I do understand. I hope you can find what you are looking for. Hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a similar thing happen to me today.
I am bi polar and suffer from anxiety. 90% of the time I keep the bi polar in check by being friendly and kind, but rarely sometimes I just feel overwhelmed and my flight instincts kick in.

I was hired as a Hub driver for a big auto parts store. I fell off of a roof years ago and shattered both heels and broke my back, so finding work is hard. Thats why I wanted to be a driver.
I have little to no mechanical knowledge but I mean if you are delivering medical supplies, you dont have to be a doctor right? So I figured if I am delivering auto parts, it dosnt matter.
Went into orientation and I had everything under control. But then they took us to a store to start training, only I was not being trained for the job I applied for. They were training me to answer phones and help customers. They wanted me to up sell them on parts and offer to install some for them. Like I said, not my forte.
I lasted 4 hours without a break or lunch, and then they turned us loose on helping customers. All the other new guys were diving right in, but I got this gloomy feeling. "I cant do this.. I dont know what I am doing."
Dont get me wrong, I love customers and people, but I know nothing about auto parts or cars. I should have approached the GM who was training us and talked to him, but my flight instincts kicked in. I took off my badge and pins, put it on the counter and left. The GM called me all day but I couldnt bring myself to answer the phone. I was just too embarrassed.
I know I am partially at fault for not standing my ground, but this was not the job I was told I would be doing, and I can not stand on my feet for more than an hour or so without having to sit down because of the accident I had. Thats humiliating to bring up as well..
When I got home I felt like such an idiot. Why didnt I say something? Why as a grown man did I just leave? The job offered good benefits I feel like I made a huge mistake.
I finally built up the courage to call the GM back after I took a nap. My head hurt and my heart was pounding. I needed rest. It was too late, the office was closed. I left a message telling him how I felt and why I left and apologized for being unprofessional. Maybe he will call back tomorrow. If he dosnt, oh well. Ill look for a job thats in my forte. Still hate that at 38 years old these feelings still effect me to behave like this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...