Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Bipolar n Depressed

Do You Never Feel Like Doing Anything?

Recommended Posts

It's really pathetic. I really don't have a life because I never feel like doing anything. I'm always so depressed, so fatigued and tired that I don't feel like taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, putting make up on & doing my hair just to go out of the house. I have absolutely no motivation. So, I just hardly ever go anywhere or do anything. Also, I get so much anxiety about getting out around crowds of people and doing things. And what's crazy is at the same time I get so bored I can't stand it! I hate sitting in this house all the time. I feel like such a prisoner! I get on FB and read about all the wonderful fun times and things my friends are doing while I sit at home. I get so jealous! I hate myself for being this way, but still can't make the change. Does anyone else feel this way or have this problem?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i feel exactly like this the majority of the time and i think you will find that alot of people on this site do. one of these days there will be a breakthrough and change it is hard to believe though i haven't seen it yet i still believe that it will happen some day and i think you have to convince your self that also

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel pretty much exactly like that (except for the putting on make up bit, I'm a guy!). I hate feeling like the lonely creepy guy looking at everyone's facebook photos of nights out ect... I would much rather be in the photos :(

My life is so pathetic lately I actually look forward to a trip to the supermarket or even if I have to pick my Mum up from the train station which is a 2 minute drive away! Then when I am out in public I get so anxious and my mind is so consciously aware of every footstep I take. I try and hold a good posture and look as calm and normal as possible but people still stare at me sometimes.

Some days when I get so bored and lonely I will take a trip to a shopping centre or visit central London (I live 30 mins away) yet when I get there I have no idea what to do as I don't exactly have unlimited funds to buy clothes and stuff. Sometimes I think I'll go for a coffee somewhere but when I get there I get too anxious & shy to go inside and end up just walking past! I really don't know what my mind expects when I go out on these lonely little trips. Its as if I think I will magically meet someone just like me and we will have a great conversation or something but in all reality I know that will never happen to someone like me.

TV, movies and all these facebook photo's give off the illusion that the world is a busy exciting place full of fun and opportunity, and all you have to do is get out there and experience it but whenever I go outside to try and find that place I can never find it. Where are all the people my age? The world can feel like one big giant ghost town to me sometimes.

Edited by flowerpower89

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have this as well. I know a beard/mustace don't look good on me. I can barely grow one and when I do it looks hidious. Yet I can go days without shaving for no reason. I'll think about doing it, but I'll still put it of again and again. Same thing when someone invites me to a party. I'll never give a straight yes or no, I'll always say "maybe". Then I will spent most of my time thinking of reasons not to go, and then I try to justify those reasons for myself. Ofcourse later on I always end up regretting it.

I can't say for certain, but I believe it's part fear, especially if what you want to do requires social interraction. The other part I feel is so you don't feel bad about failing something. If you don't put make-up on/shave/go to that party then it's not that your ugly or anti-social, you just didn't shave, felt like wearing make-up or had other plans (though not realy).

It's not so much pathetic as it is a trap. Atleast for me I constantly feel like I'm trapping / tricking myself into making horrible decisions that I'll later regret. What helps for me is 2 things: 1) talking to other people about it. It can be here or in a talking group, but feeling not alone and by yourself is a great feeling. Means you can savely talk to someone without getting laughed at. 2) Actually do the stuff that you want to/should be doing. This is ofcourse more difficult, but each time I do shave or I do go out (though the latter happens rarely I will admit) I usually feel great about myself. Start with simply tasks to get the positive feeling going and then try and tackle 1 bigger obstacle, like going out for drinks with someone. Taking a chance is a great feeling, and even if you fall flat on your face you can atleast tell yourself that you gave it a try rather then staying home on the couch/infront of the computer again.

Like I said, I still struggle with this myself. Someone from my 'Improving Social Skills' workgroup recently invited me to go to the swimmingpool. It wasn't a personal invite, rather around 40 people got invited through Facebook. Still, I feel like I should give it a go just because I don't go out much. On the other hand, I feel really insecure about my body. I'm not fat but not fit either, I do have a bit of love handles. On top of that I kinda have a hairy chest. I don't feel like shaving it, yet I don't feel comfortable showing it to others either. Kinda stupid since that way I'm screwed either way. So yeah ofcourse I said 'maybe'...

Anyway, I don't know if your in college or anything like that, but try to find a workshop or something similar where people work on their social skills. It really helped me feel better about myself and gives you a safe social interaction and a place to talk about your problems. You might even make some friends there as well.

Hope this helps a little.

Edited by Ezrael

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

im exactly the same. i never do anything and sometimes can barely get through the whole routine to go to work - showering, washing my face, brushing my teeth, they are all such small tasks but feel so hard to do. all day i never do anything apart from work, even when im bored i just cant get the energy. unfortanetly i think its a downward spiral - the less you do, the less energy you have so the less you feel like doing anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also find it hard to do stuff. Still, I find when I force myself it is usually a good experience. Lately the weather has been so nice, so I've tried to go for a hike in the mountains almost every day. It's always a struggle, but afterwards I tend to feel much better. More positive and less anxious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, i also never feel like doing anything. Even getting out of bed in the morning is a massive struggle, i just want to lay in bed and do nothing wholeday. When i take a bath, i usually lay in the bath for more than an hour, and i do this because i lack motivation, getting out of the bath requires alot of effort. Sometimes i dont even feel like bathing, nothing makes me happy anymore, everything requires so much effort. I can stay in the house for more than three days and it wont even bother me, i feel so useless. Sometimes i want to change the channel on tv, but getting up to change the channel is just too much effort.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally relate to this. I find it a lot of effort at the moment to shower, get dressed and brush my hair or teeth, let alone go out.

On the subject of facebook, don't believe everything is hunky-dory for everybody else, just because you read stuff on there. There are some people who still feel the need to hide their depression from friends, and insist on posting jolly, happy status updates all the time. I know, because I do this.

I'm not saying your friends are all depressed. Just that sometimes people put on a front.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish we could all find a way out of this. We all deserve to have some fun & live happy lives. And I agree, once I shower that takes all my energy...I barely have energy for that, let alone getting ready to go somewhere. I need to shower today because I have to go to the store later. And while I look forward to actually getting out of the house. Omg how I dread taking a shower. Just the thought exhausts me, especially thinking about having to put make up on after and blow dry my hair. I'll put it off as long as I can. At the same time, I HATE sitting in this house all the time. I couldn't manage my money or hold down a job, so here I am on disability now. So I'm home all day every day. I do work occasional p/t on weekends and it's ALL I can do to shower & get there. Once I'm there I do okay, but just showering, getting ready & getting there is the problem. Thank god it's only p/t occasional otherwise I'd never be able to continue doing it. I'm around people then but it's not necessarily one big crowd of people, I'm in a grocery store doing demos. I just stand there...there's some small talk & people come sample. That is the extent of my socialization with the outside world. Other than that I'm home all day every day doing nothing. I keep telling myself I'm going to change things, but I just can't seem to do it. People keep telling me to join clubs or groups to get out, but I don't belong in them...plus there's none I like. Those people have money, careers and great personalities. I have none of those things. Plus crowds, especially when I don't know anyone, terrify me. I have no friends and no family here. My hubby works night shift 11-7 and sleeps most of the days, so all he has is Fridays & Saturdays. He spends most of Friday sleeping and Saturday he has his kids, then Sunday back to work. Outside of that he's in front of his computer and he's a total homebody. So we rarely get out to do anything except an occasional dinner. As far as Facebook, yes I often wonder are these people really that happy. Some of them seem to always have something planned & somewhere to go & people to go with whereas I never have anything to do or anyone to do it with. I'm sure for some of them their lives aren't as great as they pretend them to be. Some post about going to the pool. Omg, I'd die if I went to the pool. One I have no one to go with, so I wouldn't go by myself and two I wouldn't be caught dead in public in a bathing suit! I'm just scared of everything! Sorry didn't me to go on & on.

Edited by Bipolar n Depressed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I, Bipolar n Depressed. I didn't think it would, but your post applies to me in almost every way. I have a job, but it's part time, and getting there is the hardest thing in the world. I begin to feel fatigued in the car on the way there, and after work almost run to my car and rush right home. Once home, though, if I'm out of books or the TV is boring, I'm bored out of my skull, at loose ends. I feel anxiety, like I should be doing something, but what? I have no energy, no desire to do anything, yet want to be doing something - such a contradiction, it makes me crazy!

Just today, there was a school-wide potluck, and I was expressly invited to go with one of my closer co-workers, but all I wanted to do was go home and hide in my house. Stopping at the store on the way home was pure torture, and I would not (couldn't) have done it except we were completely out of the very special dog food that my Precious needs. It takes an actual, forced effort to even turn on my computer, but I'm compelled out of what - loneliness, despair, isolation?

So, no, you are not alone. I don't have any suggestions except what helps me, which is to have a routine. The fact that I have to be somewhere every day, at the same time, and that I can leave everyday at the same time, that my "safe place" awaits, helps me cope. Knowing that I can come to DF and see that I'm not alone in my "aloneness" helps with the feeling of aimlessness, of merely drifting through time. Maybe posting on here can help you, too, and get ideas on things to do to help. I like one of the suggestions about taking a social class, maybe you could skip the makeup on a trial basis, try to minimize the things you have to do to leave the house. I wish you luck, and don't take FB too much to heart. Some are happy, some are sad, some have busy and frenetic lives but no real friends, you can't tell from their Wall, or be jealous of something that might not exist.

M of P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel exactly the same. I don't want to take the shower, brush my teeth, make up, dress up, do my hair, even eating - but the bread, eggs and instant coffee are always there in the kitchen just in case I'm hungry. Lipstick is my saver when I need to go out so that I don't scare people away with how I look. I don't know what to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow I have been feeling like this a lot. I hope I can find some way to feel better. I need to feel more motivated and excited about things. I was afraid I may be slipping a bit into depression again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel that it's easier for me to do chores than it is to actually take care of myself. My sister who lives with me never does anything around the house so I have no choice, but regarding me bathing or going outside, I don't put in much effort. I'll just do the dishes and laundry and then go right back to bed. I have braces, so I need to take extra care when cleaning, but I've been avoiding brushing my teeth a lot. I dread going to get my braces tightened.

I've also been avoiding yoga class and meditation group, even though they make me feel better and relieve stress. I just don't want to go out anymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I looked back at your name and location because I thought I wrote this myself, I feel exactly the way you describe it!

Sometimes it's even too hard to just raise my arm or talk to my boyfriend. Especially the lack of energy to just produce sound out of my mouth, is really bothersome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes I'm on lithium and zyprexa...I'm also bipolar and depressed (and anxious). I get anxious when I know I have to take a shower and wash and do my hair and I thought i was the only one! The make-up is hard to put on (though vital for self-esteem, I feel) because I have to look in the mirror. I'm 41 and don't look like I'm in my 20s or 30s anymore lol, I know that sounds vain, but nonetheless I struggle with aging on top of struggling with just getting out the door. I do work, however, everyday though part-time (thank God) and I suppose this helps to have a routine to get up and get going but on the weekends I am hard-pressed to want to get out of bed. And not working out makes it worse cuz I feel so much better when I do manage to go...but I feel so anxious about going,that I don't go on a regular basis. Which would be the best thing to do for myself, nay for all of us on here. Depression is hell and I feel for all of us because as much as we know getting out and being social would help, it's hard to actually get out and do it! Being tired and laying bed is what we want to do and yet conversely not the best thing for us. Bipolar and depressed, what drugs are you taking, if any?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am hopping on this train because I feel the same way.

It is such a struggle to get out of bed in the mornings and get ready to go to work. I only recently started putting make-up on, I went for a long time without because I couldn't make myself take the time to put it on. Since I have started wearing it again everyone seems to comment that I look better. :verysad3:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have the same experience but I think I am finding a way out. You've done things to keep yourself occupied and it all seems rather pointless -like you're just doin stuff to pass time. But you feel like you cant do "nothing" because sitting still just causes more anxiety and feeling that life is slipping away. This is the right time -when you feel like nothing in particular is worth doing -to DO NOTHING! To take doing nothing to the extreme and do it fully.*Meditate* Just sit and do nothing at all. Decide that anything you could do now would just be a distraction (which it usually is) and you're going to resolutely do nothing. Ideally for a few days continuously at first- if not then just start at maybe 45 mins or an hour each day, just sit and watch your own thoughts. Learn to notice the ideas that are floating around in your mind pushing you here and there, examine them, realise that they are not you(you are the quiet observer watching the thoughts happen), and let them disappear. It will take some time and dedication but ultimately all the c**p you think you should be doing will fall away and you'll find the voice inside yourself that guides you to the life you want to lead and the things you want to do. To find happiness just BEING rather than always DOING, then life will open up in front of you. Thats been my experience, I've been meditating for an hour a day for about five months and I can feel the motivation beginning to rise up inside and move me rather than having to look for it. Hope you give it a try -I've been wading through the self-help/motivation books and articles, the philosophies and the spiritual systems for years, and nothing has done more so far to make me feel alive again, to overcome my shyness and start making plans for my future. I would recommend it to anyone. Good luck : )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, i also never feel like doing anything. Even getting out of bed in the morning is a massive struggle, i just want to lay in bed and do nothing wholeday. When i take a bath, i usually lay in the bath for more than an hour, and i do this because i lack motivation, getting out of the bath requires alot of effort. Sometimes i dont even feel like bathing, nothing makes me happy anymore, everything requires so much effort. I can stay in the house for more than three days and it wont even bother me, i feel so useless. Sometimes i want to change the channel on tv, but getting up to change the channel is just too much effort.

This is exactly how I feel. It sums it up for me.

I don't quite watch television, but that issue in various forms is here for me. I just want to sleep all the time. I don not want to get out of bed. My sleep schedule is so messed up. I stay up most nights and sleep during the day. The most I can do at night is anything mindless. I might find a film online that I can just let play. I do anything that does not require much effort. I don't work right now and am supposed to be looking for a job but I just do not have the energy to do so. I don't have any energy. I am not happy, just lifeless. Sometimes I don't even find a point in standing. One day I had finally decided to go to bed and at one point I was only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom and nothing more. Then I got up once and stood for a second. I questioned why I was standing up and what the point was. I found none so I laid back down in bed, only to get up a few minutes later realizes I had gotten up to use the bathroom. With all of this my hygiene is off too. It feels nice once I actually take care of myself and shower and whatnot, but I just can't bring myself to do it mostly. Today I actually decided to shower and ended up just thinking and sitting there for about half an hour or more, doing nothing. I barely leave the house. I will stay in for days at a time. I was stuck in the house for four days and somehow got myself out these last three. It was hard. I went to bed on time one of the nights but I knew this wouldn't last. I still don't like leaving the house. One part of leaving means interacting with people, which I don't like to do. I can't even enjoy going to the grocery store because I do not want to deal with people. I don't always get bothered either. This is just how my routine is and I can't bring myself to change it. I have tried to will myself to get up but it never works. I usually have my best friend (who I am living with) nagging me over and over to get up. It never works. I had fallen asleep for some hours and it is now after four in the morning. I am probably going to be up for a while again. I don't know why. Things are just really pointless right now.

Edited by stories

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same way. I can rarely get the motivation to do something productive. I just sit around, browsing the internet. All the while, I'm bored out of my mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Same here. On the weekends I just lay on the floor staring at the ceiling and listening to music for hours on end. Dreading the week to start all over again. Most people grind away at a job they hate but still enjoy living and doing things on the weekends or after work. I do neither. I can't stand doing anything. Every time I wake up I get angry at myself for lacking the courage to go through the only escape out of this misery. It takes too much effort to do normal things. Trying to put on a cheerful appearance at work is a living hell. I am already an outcast there and don't want to get fired. Even though I do my job well, it seems like it doesn't matter if you don't get along with your coworkers or bosses.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's especially difficult for me in the mornings and on weekends to drag myself out of bed ...go meet my friends...or run any errands...and I thought I was the only one...It just feels pointless to go out and socialize when I feel unimportant. My friends don't need me...if I'm not at any of their gatherings, no one will miss me, no one will notice if I'm gone... I just can't bring myself to get dressed or walk out of the house. All I want to do is lay in bed and stare at the ceiling all day long...but then I can't cuz this feeling of having to do something takes over and I still don't know what I have to do. My depression is getting worse and worse eventhough I'm on medication.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...