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Hello - I'm very happy to have found this site.

My psychiatrist recently recommended that I try to connect with others who suffer from depression as part of my therapy.

Group therapy seems quite daunting to me so he suggested that I try this.

He has me on a Cymbalta/Risperidone combo which seems to be helping a bit so I thought I would reach out and maybe we can all talk each other through this beast of depression.

I'm pretty shy and don't connect well with others. Being obese doesn't help.

I'm really just looking to find others who have been/are going through "it" with whom to communicate.

My depression has been lifelong - suicide attempt in high school, okay in college, dysthymia throughout my elementary school teaching career, an emotional crisis which caused me to quit teaching after thirteen years, working at a law firm for five and a half years, fired last year, which caused another crisis/near-hospitalization which led me to seek help.

My personal life is pretty dull - I'm 41, single, childless and live with my mother (who has bipolar disorder), father and grandmother. I have little to no ambition and until recently, with the medication change, virtually no hope.

I DO have an excellent and caring psychiatrist so when he suggested this, I thought I would give it a try. (Does anyone else feel a real love for their psychiatrist? Yes, yes - transference, anyone? I know. Just wondering...)

I work full-time at a terrible, crappy job (literally and figuratively - it's in daycare) so I'm not online a whole lot. I do try to check in nightly or at least every other night so I would like to be an active member of the community as much as I am able.

I think it's great that sites like this exist and I'd really like to become a participating and active member, if you'll have me.

Thanks - Allie

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Hi AllieAnne and welcome to the DF!

We are glad that you reached out to us, as yes there likely many people who have experienced many of the same types of scenarios you describe, and we are a pretty caring group.

You've had some very traumatic events go on for you, so I certainly understand feeling depressed. The great news is that you've found a great therapist, and are being treated. There are some here whom you will find haven't been as fortunate.

I think there are a couple of things you should focus on to help get through your depression-one of them being to get a better job. Being a teacher myself, if you feel that the job is so terrible, you are not doing yourself, nor those kiddos any good being there. You know that from all of your studies I'm sure. Maybe you'd be more suited in a retail or business environment? Next, you admitted that you struggle with obesity. Have to tried to possibly get into a medically supervised program to reduce your weight?

Feeling good about who we are and what we do are big steps in dealing with our depression. I'm glad you are here. Look around, post freely, and let us know how you are doing!

Sincerely,

MaddieLouse

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Hi Allie, and welcome to DF! We are glad to have you here. This is a wonderful community, filled with caring understanding people.

You will receive a lot of emotional support here.

I also am shy, and obese, so I can relate. I know how miserable depression is.

You are NOT alone. I think a lot of us here can understand.

Please make yourself feel at home here, take a look around the site, and post wherever you feel most comfortable.

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Hi AllieAnne and welcome.

I´m sorry your circumstances are the way you describe, but you´re still young with your life before you. I´m glad the medication has brought you this far, now you just need to make your life more pleasurable, because you deserve to be happy.

I agree with both Maddie and Aqua. I just want to add that if your self-esteem is low, try to fix that with exercises. There are really good self-help books out there and a good self-esteem will take you far. You will lose weight more easily and be able to find a better job. If you have a passion or interest for something, by all means join a club or organization. You will meet new people and your life will change.

I wish you the very best. :hugs:

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Hi Allie, welcome to DF! I hope hope you find the support and encouragement you need here.

I'm 40, single, childless and overweight too so I think I understand a little bit of where you're coming from. I also know that the "why don't you just lose some weight" advice is the easiest to give (sorry, don't mean to sound rude or harsh to those who have given it) but is actually the hardest to follow. My weight has swung up and down over 20 years in 20-25 kilo increments and the most depressing thing was that at my lightest, I still felt unlovable and worthless, and so it just crept back on slowly and before I knew I was heavier than when I had originally started to lose weight. SO I lost weight all over again, only to suffer a humiliating rejection (still unloveable and worthless) and it's piled back on again. The thought of trying to lose weight is an even more insurmountable mountain than getting help for my despair. I also think I'm addicted to food, I'm always planning what I'm eating next so I should probably get help for that at the same time. BUT I'm trying again, this time I'm not "dieting" or on an exercise regime that fills me with dread, I'm just slowly trying to cut out the sugar (I read "Sweet Poison" by David Gillespie) in my life and taking things a small step at a time.

Anyway, I hope you can find some help here and feel like you're not alone. One thing I've seen in my short time on this forum is that regardless of what it is you've gone through or feeling, there's generally someone out there who's experienced or experiencing something similar. Good luck to you!

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Hi nhs!

Don'y you just love about the weight thing? I've been through so many therapists and it was almost always the same - "just exercise and lose weight".

Uh, thanks. However, since I'm finding it hard to even get out of bed, how do you suggest that I accomplish THAT?

That's what I love about my psychiatrist now. It's been months and he has never mentioned my weight. (And believe me - it's there to mention!)

He treats me like any other suffering mind, and not a fat body.

Your post is so nice and understanding - thank you:)

Once I learn how to add friends, I'd love to add you (if that's okay with you).

Thanks again for your post!

Allie

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Hi Allie and it's nice to meet you! What a great introductory and so thoughtful. I am new too and it is just so HARD to get started. I am still trying to figure things out but I look forward to getting to know you and others as we ALL just keep muddling through this thing called "LIFE"...

Take good care of yourself and, like me, I hope you find what you are looking for here in this community. Doesn't it feel "GREAT" to be somewhere where you feel "welcome", safe and secure??? Yeah, it's a good thing.

EmMe

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Hi Allie,

Welcome to the forum. Great to meet you. I started a week ago, and have already received lots of support - I've also started a blog to jot down feelings, thoughts, verses. Feel free to read/comment.

I'm sure you'll find some support and encouragement on these pages, and I echo EmMe's comments above - it's relaxing and relieving to find somewhere non-judgmental, and secure enough to open your heart and let some of the crap out!

You take care of yourself, feel free to add me as a friend once you work out the technical bit.

Mark.

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Hi AllieAnne

Welcome to the forum!! Im new here too!! I hope you find many good and genuine people around here. Im certainly here to help out when I can. Add me as as friend!!

With Love

David

Hello - I'm very happy to have found this site.

My psychiatrist recently recommended that I try to connect with others who suffer from depression as part of my therapy.

Group therapy seems quite daunting to me so he suggested that I try this.

He has me on a Cymbalta/Risperidone combo which seems to be helping a bit so I thought I would reach out and maybe we can all talk each other through this beast of depression.

I'm pretty shy and don't connect well with others. Being obese doesn't help.

I'm really just looking to find others who have been/are going through "it" with whom to communicate.

My depression has been lifelong - suicide attempt in high school, okay in college, dysthymia throughout my elementary school teaching career, an emotional crisis which caused me to quit teaching after thirteen years, working at a law firm for five and a half years, fired last year, which caused another crisis/near-hospitalization which led me to seek help.

My personal life is pretty dull - I'm 41, single, childless and live with my mother (who has bipolar disorder), father and grandmother. I have little to no ambition and until recently, with the medication change, virtually no hope.

I DO have an excellent and caring psychiatrist so when he suggested this, I thought I would give it a try. (Does anyone else feel a real love for their psychiatrist? Yes, yes - transference, anyone? I know. Just wondering...)

I work full-time at a terrible, crappy job (literally and figuratively - it's in daycare) so I'm not online a whole lot. I do try to check in nightly or at least every other night so I would like to be an active member of the community as much as I am able.

I think it's great that sites like this exist and I'd really like to become a participating and active member, if you'll have me.

Thanks - Allie

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Wow!

So many great replies!! I'm definitely going to thank my psychiatrist tomorrow when I see him for the suggestion.

I still don't know how to add friends but I'm very happy that I will have a bunch to add as soon as I find out (LOL).

Hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day.

Thanks again:)

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Yeah the whole "just exercise and lose weight" thing is right up there with "you'd be so pretty if you lost weight" (ummm you do realise you've just called me ugly????) and "it'll happen when you least expect it" (okay so not expecting it for 25 years is not expecting it for long enough??).

Totally hear you, if it was so easy I would have done it years ago and with lasting success. <sigh>

I'm fairly new to this site (and forums in general) as well so no idea what the whole adding friends thing is about but happy for you to do that. Hopefully we can find our way out of this mess!! I'm attempting online dating at the moment, with limited success. I've had a few guys contact me but each time I've sent off 5 questions (the dating site has structured communication) the answer to the body type question has always firmly been not the "Larger than average" option. And apparently women are the superficial ones! I'm was hoping this may boost my confidence a bit but so far it's been a little harrowing and I'm not sure how long my limited self esteem can take it.

Take care, I hope you can find some comfort here!

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Hi AllieAnne,

First, welcome. It's been a relief for me to vent--I mean--type out my thoughts here, and have people reply their thoughts in a safe atmosphere.

I have to say--It's easier for a shy person to have a disconnected-voice in a convenient (and safe) group of people (here), than to be put up on a real stage and told to state your name for all to see. You spoke up and told your story, feel good about yourself for just doing that much.

Second, I have to say--weight does not equal love. I found that I was more comfortable with someone that wasn't at their ideal weight--I'd even say it was my preference. Maybe because I didn't feel as threatened because of mine? Maybe it was because I didn't have to worry as much about her/my/our vanity? Maybe it was that I really didn't give that much care to the shell outside and was more interested in what was inside the other person's head. Dunno. Just sayin.

With that said... Losing weight... eh... Getting some exercise (like going for a short walk at a scenic park or some place to get your head on straight) might add to your mood & thoughts what the medication & therapy can't.

Even when not in a relationship, I never believed in paying for matchmaking/dating services. The free ones, like okcupid, allow people to effectively find you-- Just make sure you protect your sanity/heart when using such a tool, given where your mind is. It's much easier to have a predator find a weak victim through those places.

I didn't particularly ever care for psychologists--I ended up dwelling on the co-pay. I lost faith in my psychiatrist a long time ago, but have been struggling to find a better one... then, as luck would have it... recently found a psychologist I liked and he provided a referral to a different psychiatrist... chicken/egg... weird. Now, if the neuro-psychiatrist, neurologist, sleep physician and general physician can all get together under the same roof, well that's not going to happen.

Nice to see that you can open up.

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