Jump to content

Stupid Things People Say About Depression...


Bunnie89

Recommended Posts

This is just going to be pure me ranting (so sorry about that!) but it's something that's been frustrating and upsetting me so much recently.

People who don't take depression seriously. Can't put into words how much this irks me. And I know, for people who don't suffer from it, it must be a difficult thing to understand, but the sheer stupidity of some of the things people come out with makes my blood boil! "I had depression, but I didn't go on pills or anything and then I just pulled myself together and got over it." You, my friend, do not have depression. That's feeling a bit sad and then having a sandwich and playing XBox and being happy again, and doesn't give you the right to tell me that I need to "fix myself." I am not broken, I have illness. And people who do the whole "You don't need medication, you should be strong enough to get over it on your own." Ok, go tell that to someone with diabetes!

And people who think it's making something out of nothing and don't seem to understand that it cripples people and ruins their lives. Or refer to me as being "delicate". I am not delicate, my brain doesn't produce the right amount of the right chemicals and it affects my mood. It's basic endocrinology, and you should have covered it in secondary school...

"Just don't think negative things." Ohhhhh I should just stop doing it! My god, why didn't I think of that. It's like when someone turned round to my friend Becky and said about her OCD "Why don't you... you know... when you get the urge to do something just.... don't do it?"

Please share things people have said to you that make you feel utterly exasperated, so I know it's not just me!

Sorry, I realise this is a really negative thread, but it's been stressing me out so much!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a friend tell me recently that "This isn't just about you" - he was referring to my wife. Like I hadn't thought (and agonized) about how it also effects her.

In fairness I have to say it's hard for people to really get it unless they've felt it. And unfortunately, we're going to get skeptics, because we can't produce real evidence of our illness.We can also be thankful that at least there is some acceptance and understanding.

I have tried to describe it to people this way "You know that moment when you see the flashing lights in your rear-view and realize you're being pulled over? If you could capture that feeling and make it last all day and continue indefinitely, that's what depression often feels like to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't see that as negative. I see that as the cold hard truth. I've tried to drive this spike of knowledge into the skulls of the people around me for years. The world is not a default in the eyes of all. If one person can look at a bed of roses and literally overflow with emotional goodery, this does not dictate the default response for the entirety of the world outside of them.

The same can be said for those with depression versus those without. When I walk outside and into a group of people I am encased within a crippling sphere of self-doubt, self-consciousness, and self-loathing. The next person over is overcome with glee over the prospect of meeting new people. When they see me scowl at the idea of a potential new sea of rejection, they are entirely befuddled at the prospect of not being excited. I am seen as alien, confused, incorrect, unenlightened, without a state of being correct.

"Why can't you just ignore the negative things?"

"Why can't you just laugh off the bad thoughts?"

"Why can't you just stop being so unhappy?"

Unfortunately for some people understanding the true nature of depression is akin to hoping a goldfish would understand the concept of skydiving. It's an absolute shame that so many people still write off depression as an act for attention. As if all of these people prefer being miserable because it gets them so many good things. Like having to go to therapy, taking pills, being ignored by their friends, treated like garbage by the "haves", and being trampled underfoot by people who think it's all an act.

It's a true utopia, this little scam we have going.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for your replies!!

I suppose it's like my old neighbour used to say about her bipola, "If I had a broken leg, everyone would be asking me if I'm ok. Because they can't SEE what's wrong with me, that think it's not a real problem."

It still makes me sad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good analogies on this thread! It makes me sad too.

Why don't we just "snap out it already?"

Because we CAN'T. I don't WANT to be like this, trust me.

My personally most detested is "hang in there!"

Because if you think about it literally, why would I want to hang right here where my entire life feels out of control and deflated? It makes me crazier whenever someone tells me that. Hang in there feels like someone is discounting how I feel and doesn't want to deal with me anymore, so they just throw that in and change the subject. GAH!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I lost so many friends, but I am lucky I have such solid ones left.

The 'What have you got to be depressed about?" one seems to be the one that I always get.

'I don't understand why you let people annoy you so much'

Or my favourite one from my very own mother 'You have your pills now it's time you got over it'

It's the people who think because you have depression, you are a wee bit upset. they just don't get the sheer terror and horribleness that goes on, when you can't leave your bed, not because you are lazy but because you feel you have cement pulsing through your body, or you physically can't move because you feel trapped inside your mind looking out at a world filled with evil and hatred

'Your doing it for attention' yeah, I have had that one too. I love that one. Thats why I hide away for weeks on end and don't contact my friends, because I wan't 'attention'. Genius! Nothing to do with the fact I wish the entire world would leave me alone to die.

Some doctors are the worst!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One I hear often is "Cheer up, it can't be that bad". And a long time ago from so called friends "What's your problem".

A complete stranger once walked past me while I was sitting in a cafe and said "Cheer up, it may never happen" (Oops, too late!). Why would they say that when they don't even know you! Grrrrr :veryangry:

Even my best friend doesn't understand, when I say I'm feeling down, she always says "why, what's the matter" (sigh). Why doesn't anyone get it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"You're really hard to be around when you're unhappy"

Gee, thanks. When I need you most, you don't want to be around, because you can't deal with someone else being unhappy? But when you're upset and crying, I know who you'll come to first. Even though you always forget.

/sigh.

Some days....other people really anger me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Just don't think negative things." Ohhhhh I should just stop doing it! My god, why didn't I think of that.

EXACTLY!!! If everyone stopped having negative thoughts then we'd all be saved and no one would need medicine, how easy that would be. BUT that's not "reality" and it doesn't work that way for some of us. I can't just snap out of it or stop thinking negative thoughts or for my OCD I can't stop cleaning!!!! It irks the crap out of me too!! Good Topic whether its negative or not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few years ago when I phoned my doctors practice, I told them about my illness and a receptionist said:

"are you sure you're not making it up?"

Why the hell would someone make it up, mental illness is as real as physical illness, would they say that if I walked in with my leg hanging off, "oh are you sure that's a real severd leg?"!! :shocked:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was younger people would make fun of me for crying and my mom told me I was scary (which I don't understand why, I am very quiet and extremely non confrontational)... so I learned to put on my 'happy face' and hide it from the world. I've told a few people recently (IE a doctor, so now I'm on meds) but for the most part I'm afraid of what I'll hear, so I tend to keep it to myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 years later...

This is really quite funny.  I was just about to start a new thread called "Stupid things people say to those with depression."  

The idea came to me from a series of sarcastic posts in the "How do you feel right now" thread yesterday.

 

I don't think it's a negative thread at all, I think it will be humorous and/or a means of release to put down favorite "words of wisdom" from those who just don't get it. 

 

So I compiled the ones mentioned above into a simple list.  Feel free to continue to vent additional thoughts on these wonderful depression proverbs, but let's keep the list going...I think we all know why these irk us so badly.

 

PS:  Not trying to hijack your thread.  I just think a list will be easier and funnier to read. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  1. I had depression, but I didn't go on pills or anything and then I just pulled myself together and got over it.

Fix yourself.

You don't need medication; you should be strong enough to get over it on your own.

Just don't think negative things.

This isn't just about you.

Why can't you just ignore the negative things?

Why can't you just laugh off the bad thoughts?

Why can't you just stop being so unhappy?

Why don't you just snap out of it already?

Hang in there! 

You're just hormonal.

What have you got to be depressed about?

I don't understand why you let people annoy you so much.

You have your pills now it's time you got over it.

You’re doing it for attention.

It`s not like you have cancer or something?

Cheer up, it can't be that bad.

You're really hard to be around when you're unhappy.

Just don't think negative things.

Are you sure you're not making it up?

I know how you feel.   

This too shall pass. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pess & Els, LOL! This is too funny. That cartoon made me LMAO. Thanks for the laugh, I needed that!! :) That list is perfect, Pess.....

Mine is: "It's a beautiful day. Why be depressed?"

 

That's what my friend always says to me which drives me up the wall.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

* "Everything happens for a reason"

* "Oh I know, I got so depressed too when I couldn't find my keys this morning and got to work late..."

 

The first one is CLASSIC and it BOILS my blood at times.  Then of course, being human and therefore a convenient hypocrite at times, I'll think to myself that very thought to console myself. lol

 

 

The depressed about keys bit, trivial crap, that really bothers me a lot.  It truly takes away from the meaning and makes it seem so trivial.

 

 

My old man who I loathe who I believe influenced a lot of my depression always says "it's all in your mind".   <-that one really pi**es me off like you wouldn't believe.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...