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solobear

Don't Know How To Tell Gp/people

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Hi everyone,

I'm super sorry if this is in the wrong forum or an overdone topic or something. This is the first time I've ever posted in a forum about it, so I guess I'm nervous (on the internet? lol).

I think I have depression, and have done since I was fifteen - I'm twenty one now. I've been alternating between being moody and low to suicidal for the past six years and have never brought it up with anyone, but after so long I can't do it anymore. I've always put off talking to my GP because I don't know what to say, and I'm convinced that they'll think I'm exaggerating, or tell me I'm just a moody person and there's nothing to be done other than pick myself up. But I can't think of a time where I've been consistently happy for years, and I think about the occasions I came close to ******* myself. I feel like I'm at the start of another downswing (is that even a name? Its what I call the going down moodswing), and when it gets to that point again I don't know if I can get through it.

I find it hard to concentrate or be motivated to do anything, and it's really starting to affect my performance in university. I'm very tired all the time, and going out absolutely exhausts me, but that could be because I don't eat much. Maybe a small meal a day (I had blood tests the other week, all is fine there, so the tiredness must be something else). My sex drive has vanished the last few weeks, and I just have this weird feeling of... emptiness, but frustration at feeling like that. It's hard to describe. I have no plans for the future because I just don't see myself getting a few years into the future. Does any of this sound like something I could be helped with? It doesn't feel like it, is that normal?

Anyone who spoke to their GP, what did you say? And how about to friends?

My girlfriend has diagnosed depression, which is another problem for me. I'm largely responsible for making sure she's taken her medication, having her at right, being the person she gets angry and frustrated at, and being there after for her to cry on. I also help her with her work and motivation. I love her and want to help her, but I don't know how she'd feel if she knew what I'd written up there. She's seen the scars from when I'd cut myself, and has seen me after drinking too much at home alone because I felt bad that evening and thought it would help. But I think she either thinks I'm okay now, or doesn't want to see it because it would stress her out too much. I'm not close to any of my family, so I can't talk to them. My mum has quite the old fashioned view of depression - when I told her about my girlfriend, she just said "tell her I don't approve, she just needs to pick herself up by the bootstraps. What must the pair of you be like, miserable sods". My mum seems to think I'm just moody.

This is getting long, sorry.

One last thing. I had a psych assessment a while ago for something unrelated. Questions about suicidal thoughts and self harm came up, and I answered honestly. My GP got the results, but at my last appointment for the unrelated thing she didn't bring anything up. Does this mean I really am just a moody git? I think that if I speak to someone and they see those results that they'll think I'm lying now.

Okay, thanks

Sorry for taking up all this time

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Sorry i can't help myself but i would like to reply that i've been wondering how to tell friends/family about how i'm feeling also (i don't officially have it) though, so i'll wait until i have the guts to go the drs..

Even when talking to my "best mate"how i feel apparently i just have to think "positive" and everything will be ok, yeah if only it was that simple i feel pathetic talking about it- which is silly i know.

I'm really scared to tell a "professional" about how i'm feeling.. to nervous/anxious to go.

Just to let you know you're not alone!

Edited by Koan

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Hi Solobear, Iam facimg almost the same thing as you do. Well, I am now meeting a psychiatrist. I start of by telling the GP that I feel that I am depressed and I want to see a psychologist. In the end they refer me to a counsellor who.in the end referred me to a psychiatrist. =]

I don't thimk you are just being moody(I thought I was). =] and it's normal for the older generation to say so... i guess.. none of my family understands me as well. So, don't take to heart of what they say about this. =]

Hope you finds something that will help you here. =]

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Hi solobear, you are definitely not alone feeling like this, you have all the signs of depression and you have to tell your doctor or a therapist how you feel. If they won't listen then find someone who will. You will always find support on this board, we are all here for you. And not all mother's think like yours, maybe she's just in denial and doesn't want to admit her son has a problem. Take care.

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Hi Solobear

It may be an idea to write down how you are feeling and hand it to the doc, it will explain everything, so that you don't forget to mention something and it can take the pressure off.

Trace

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Anyone who spoke to their GP, what did you say

I can talk about my experience with going to my GP for depression.

1. They generally ask you how you're feeling, if you sound depressed they then give you a 10 question test.

2. If you have suicidal thoughts, be aware that they will ask you to be specific.

GP's get a fair few people going to see them for depression, it's not a stigma inside the doctors office. So don't worry about that.

As for telling your friends, I have no real expeirence, but when staying with my mum she found my razers. It probably turned out for the best, but she was depressed herself so maybe there's some understanding and that. Sorry for the lack of advice on this area. A thought comes to mind that I wasn't completelty honest about stuff when she asked me. I've had suicidal thoughts in the past, but denied it adamently, more for her sake more than anything.

Edited by Masked_

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Hi everyone,

Thanks for the feedback. I made an appointment for this Friday, wish me luck. I think I'll write down a list and keep hold of it while I speak to her, but I'll skip over the suicidal thoughts. I just can't go into detail about it with someone, just the thought is too uncomfortable. I told my girlfriend it's for my sinus that's been bothering me, I'm such a liar, but oh well.

Thanks again!

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solo bear the best approach is to be honest about how you feel. Make sure you tell the doctor everything. There is nothing to be ashamed of no matter how hard it may seem to "fess up" you need to get it all out in the open. Make notes and take them to the appointment. Good Luck!

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