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Situational Depression- List Of Things Making You Depressed


Megan286

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1. Being a pathetic, hopeless, idiotic, sensitive leech.

2. Not trusting anyone.

3. Being tired and fuzzy all the time.

4. Worrying about friends and family.

5. Having nobody to really talk to.

6. Lack of motivation.

7. Feeling guilty, needy and stupid for being depressed.

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Hi Grace,

It's never too late! My aunt, who is in her 60s, just met the love of her life—and since they're both retired, they travel all over!

I met my partner when I was 28 (last year; I'm 29 now). The same year I spent 14 weeks in the loony bin. :laugh: Definitely didn't imagine that would ever, ever happen. But it did. Life is unpredictable. And sometimes, seemingly against all odds, some light slips in, and it is beautiful. Even in struggle.

As long as we're here, and fighting this thing, there is hope. Don't ever let go. I did. And I am lucky, beyond belief, to be here now. And it hurts, often a lot, but I now know it is worth it—because WE are worth it. We're survivors. Anyone would be privileged to be your partner—you are brave and sincere.

Keep your head up! I will as well.

Sincerely,

Liliah

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What would cure my depression is to be able to change who i am, it's hard to change who you really are have you thought about it???

This is what I need to sort out,

Personality & Behavioral Traits

How I think and see myself.

  • Imaginative & creative and feel life being a dream,
  • I have a tendency to be naïve and to live in fantasy,
  • I fail to take advantage of opportunities,
  • Inhibiting perfectionism making ordinary work a burden,
  • Guilty preoccupation with wrong doing,
  • I have no sense of humour,
  • When I see others enjoying themselves I feel fraustrated,
  • I’m judgemental in other folks attitudes,
  • Indecisive - a fear of making mistakes,
  • Very sensitive to criticism,
  • Try not to display of emotion and cover true feelings and thoughts,
  • Often have unexpressed feelings of anger and resentment,
  • I have never had true friendships or lasting relationships,
  • Never really enjoyed a sexual life,
  • I always choose solitary jobs and activities.
  • Feel very alone & sad even when with family members and in past relations,
  • I don’t like being of attention due to fear of looking or doing something stupid,
  • I’m quiet and try to show that I’m reserved prefer to listen,
  • I always think people talk about me behind my back even family in a negative way,
  • I feel every day I need advice and reassurance of others,
  • Intense fear of abandonment and a sense of devastation or helplessness when relationships ends and tend to move right into another relationship when one ends,
  • I have always placed the needs of others above my own,
  • Willingness and tolerate mistreatment from others,
  • I self-destruct in a way that I have suicidal ideas and act on impulse but afraid of death.
  • I always focus on the negative than the positives, “I’m doing it write now”,
  • I’m all or nothing,

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Hi guys I am new to the forum and I thought that I'd join this forum so that I can better cope with my depression.

Some of the things that I think contribute to my depression

1. difficult relationship with my mum. She is mentally ill but refuses to acknowledge it or get help

2. low self esteem

3. Never experienced a romantic relationship

4. Loneliness. I just migrated to Canada arounda year ago and have yet to make any true friends

5. failures in the activities that I used to enjoy doing

6. many regrets about the relationship with my mother. I wish I could have loved her more

7. going through a bad period in life and I feel that the choices presented to me are always between a rock and a hard place

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  • 4 weeks later...

This is a nice thread! Here are some I thought out:

1) Having too high/unreal expectations out of life (e.g everything happening just like in a movie)

2) Social relationships or misunderstandings (thinking somebody is mad at you or abandoning you because you made a mistake)

3) Not getting what you want or a disappointment, how you deal with not succeeding

4) Being mad at someone and then being mad at yourself (hatred turn inwards)

5) Comparing yourself to others and thinking lowly of yourself

6) Doing what others want you to do and not what you yourself want to do

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1) Not making nearly enough money

2) My girlfriend, thanks to her depression, is very distant in a intimacy sense. I feel lonely

3) I managed to fall in love with my best friend too (long story) but she no longer feels anything like that for me.

4) I see other people being pursued, being wanted..and hate them for not having anyone make me feel the same way.

5) My job is a mindless bed of idiocy.

6) I can't seem to care enough to change any of it.

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I do have a lot of childhood trauma, I have PTSD. I know where it started, or, what started it in the first place (I suppose.) I also have anxiety disorders (OCD and agoraphobia), that have been present since a very young age. So, I know the very roots of it, but pinpointing why it's flaring up so bad lately is trickier. I did have a "nervous breakdown" (I know that isn't a medical term) about 3 years ago, and have yet to actually recover from that. But, I am particularly down, recently.

1.) I do a LOT of avoiding behavior to skirt around my OCD and other anxieties. Avoiding causes me to not live my life, which fuels my depression. I can't find a happy medium.

2.) The last year was actually very stressful, we were in and out of court for custody issues, which is never fun. I spent much of the last year feeling like my life/lifestyle/home/family was being looked over with a fine-toothed comb, and my own perfectionism combined with my perception of that pressure was really hard on me.

3.) Weight gain. Ugh, I have gained 40, maybe even 50lbs in the last few years, I can't bear to look at myself and I don't want anyone else to look at me, either.

4.) Being depressed makes me depressed. The cycle of having no energy, no motivation, no will to live... it all feels very hopeless.

5.) I have suffered a lot of loss in my life, but that has continued into recent years. I don't think that I have ever fully (maybe even partially) healed from a few of them.

6.) Financial issues that I don't want to elaborate on, publicly, but that are out of our control to change, yet have a profound effect on our family. My not working compounds this issue, and therefor I feel guilty on top of desperate.

How can I overcome my depression? I am at that point where I'm not sure. I hate to say that, but, the reality is that lately I feel like I will never beat this. I will never be "me" again. I feel like my brain has shorted out, that this dysfunction is beyond repair.

I like to daydream about being active again, working out, eating right, brushing my teeth, generally taking care of myself... but my energy to do those things is always short lived (if I am able to muster it, at all), and the backslide after I try is always worse than the last. The solution seems easy enough, I just can't actually get to THAT point in the first place. I don't know.

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Digital Blue- have you thought about rx drugs to get you out of the hole? Sometimes these make people act weird, sometimes they don't. If they work, Some drugs can make people more active and productive initially. Kind of like a jump start, in my old therapists words.

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What would cure my depression is to be able to change who i am, it's hard to change who you really are have you thought about it???

This is what I need to sort out,

Personality & Behavioral Traits

How I think and see myself.

  • Imaginative & creative and feel life being a dream,
  • I have a tendency to be naïve and to live in fantasy,
  • I fail to take advantage of opportunities,
  • Inhibiting perfectionism making ordinary work a burden,
  • Guilty preoccupation with wrong doing,
  • I have no sense of humour,
  • When I see others enjoying themselves I feel fraustrated,
  • I’m judgemental in other folks attitudes,
  • Indecisive - a fear of making mistakes,
  • Very sensitive to criticism,
  • Try not to display of emotion and cover true feelings and thoughts,
  • Often have unexpressed feelings of anger and resentment,
  • I have never had true friendships or lasting relationships,
  • Never really enjoyed a sexual life,
  • I always choose solitary jobs and activities.
  • Feel very alone & sad even when with family members and in past relations,
  • I don’t like being of attention due to fear of looking or doing something stupid,
  • I’m quiet and try to show that I’m reserved prefer to listen,
  • I always think people talk about me behind my back even family in a negative way,
  • I feel every day I need advice and reassurance of others,
  • Intense fear of abandonment and a sense of devastation or helplessness when relationships ends and tend to move right into another relationship when one ends,
  • I have always placed the needs of others above my own,
  • Willingness and tolerate mistreatment from others,
  • I self-destruct in a way that I have suicidal ideas and act on impulse but afraid of death.
  • I always focus on the negative than the positives, “I’m doing it write now”,
  • I’m all or nothing,

I think it's good that you know these things about yourself. Do you find that the treatments for your disorders help? I'm curious if you can think of a time when you were happy in life. Then figure out what was making you happy. You're really intuitive. Is there a certain type of personality that you get a long well with?

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I have many things:

1) I was asked to leave school without obtaining my degree. I'm very upset by this.

2) Not being able to do the things I used to love doing. (reading, writing, arts, music, traveling) All I can do is watch tv and sometimes I have a hard time doing that.

3) Got evicted from my apartment because I was no longer getting financial aid and could not find enough work to stay where I was. I loved the town I lived in and hate the one I'm in now.

4) Had to move back home with my parents at 34 after having lived with them for 5 years prior to going to college 3 years ago.

5) A huge mountain of debt and no money to pay it off.

6) Being away from my boyfriend whom I love very much. I miss his physical presence.

7) Said boyfriend isn't doing well either.

8) I hate my stress ridden job and its hard to go into work everyday.

9) Everyone seems to be successful except for me.

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I have many things:

1) I was asked to leave school without obtaining my degree. I'm very upset by this.

2) Not being able to do the things I used to love doing. (reading, writing, arts, music, traveling) All I can do is watch tv and sometimes I have a hard time doing that.

3) Got evicted from my apartment because I was no longer getting financial aid and could not find enough work to stay where I was. I loved the town I lived in and hate the one I'm in now.

4) Had to move back home with my parents at 34 after having lived with them for 5 years prior to going to college 3 years ago.

5) A huge mountain of debt and no money to pay it off.

6) Being away from my boyfriend whom I love very much. I miss his physical presence.

7) Said boyfriend isn't doing well either.

8) I hate my stress ridden job and its hard to go into work everyday.

9) Everyone seems to be successful except for me.

Sorry about this. That is def depressing situation. I feel for you. At least you have a bf who you love very much. Anyway, why were you asked to leave school? What happened and why can't you do what you used to do for fun? Is it because it makes you sad or what?

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I can't really remember not being the way I am. Apparently when I was really little I was happy and confident, but I can't remember it.

I think growing up with a mother who was depressed was a big part of it. My parents never explained that she was poorly (I didn't find out til after I was diagnosed a couple of years ago), so I just thought it was things I was doing that made her angry really easily. Then if I ever got upset, it seemed to annoy her, or she'd tell me I was just tired or stressed, so I felt stupid. I used to think that everyone was sad all the time but pretended to be happy because if you didn't people would be angry. So I apologise a lot, and often feel like its my fault if people are upset or angry (basically, if I can in ANY wany link it to me, I feel like I have to say sorry). My last boyfriend got really angry with me for saying sorry all the time. I tried to explain why and that it just makes me feel safer, but he wouldn't listen. I also learnt early on that if someone upsets you, you shouldn't tell them because then they'll get upset and angry because you're saying "everything" is their fault. I think that's why my exs have gotten away with treating me badly. My parents would also fight lots and say horrible things about eachother to me when the other one wasn't around. Then if I felt I had to stand up for my dad, mum'd start shouting and say things like "It's always my fault, why don't I just ******* leave?!" etc. She also called me the c-word once when I was really upset and she wouldn't listen.

It's ok, because it wasn't her fault - she couldn't help being unwell. There are people far FAR worse off than me, and when she wasn't feeling bad, she was an amazing mum. She always read to me when I was little and we used to make things together. It's mostly my fault for being overly sensitive, but it does affect my relationships as an adult, and I find it frustrating. I have been told by boyfriends that I'm not nice to be with because of my depression. My last boyfriend said I will find someone else but I need to get rid of my depression, and that it wasn't fair on him because I hurt myself sometimes and he shouldn't have to deal with it. Thing is, I only do that because it means I can make myself feel better and not have to talk to other people about it - because in my experience that makes boyfriends angry with me as well, and then they say horrible things. He did, which is why I started again. I'm not upset about not having a boyfriend at the moment, because I've never been one of these people who has to be in a relationship. I just worry that my depression means that long-term I won't be able to be with someone, because one day I'd like to be able to settle down and have children and to be a good mum.

I feel stupid and guilty for being depressed because I know that so many people have had horrible things happen to them and that I don't have anything to complain about really. I've tried lots of things to make it go away, and I generally try to be positive and happy around people so I don't drag others down with me. But it doesn't go away and it frustrates me and makes me feel like a failure, which makes it worse. At the moment, its really getting in the way with my uni work, which is the worst, as it means so much to me, and I want to go on to do my PhD next year.

Sorry that came out so long and rambled. I realise the majority of people are far worse-off than me, and I try to be thankful for all the good things in my life. But those are the main reasons I'm depressed.

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I was disqualified because I didn't withdraw in time (with a doctors note) to "clear my name" so to speak and stay in school. Basically my school said "come back in a year". My doctors didn't urge me to stop school but they did suggest it. Is it possible to be grieving this? Because I feel as though I'm grieving. I've been crying about it almost all day today and it was really hard to be at work for 5 hours. Not to mention the fact that it was a busy, frustrating and stressful day.

I haven't been able to do the things I used to do for about 2.5 years now since I went through psychosis for 2 months. Everything changed after that. I can't concentrate, I used to have insomnia but its better now. I couldn't summon the energy to do my artwork (papermaking) which is labor intensive. I also didn't have a lot of money to spend on doing things as I was a student on loans. I would hole up in my apartment and not really go anywhere unnecessary. I have been a bookworm since I learned how to read but I haven't been able to focus on reading anymore. So, all I really do is watch tv which is really frustrating me.

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Guest missnikki

1. Thinking about my brother's melt down and in prison for more than 10 years... wondering why he killed someone. Thinking about the guys family and our own. Honestly, having a loved one be a '******er' is worse than having them die. Atleast if he were dead this would be over and done with. But I know eh was going through a really ****ed up time in his life and just had a severe head injury. Now what are his kids going to end up like? What are we going to do to try and support him when he gets out? My dad is so messed up from this, I'm really worried about his head too, and financial my dad has been screwing himself, I don't know what he's doing. My mom is fine and she's got a good head and a wallet soo atleast one of them is good.

2. Wondering if I'm bound to be as ****ed as my brother

3. my brother's babies... who he had with the craziest Biotch in the world, and we never see

4. Going to work and watching people die

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Missnikki, I'm sorry that happened to your family. There are a ton of answers out there for you. I had to study this in school as a Sociology minor, but I've also had to do a lot of research on this subject on my own. I know that frontal lobe damage (executive function, emotion control, many other things) is the main factor in determining why some people went on to m*****. In your brother's situation, It's not genetic, it's not like you have that gene or like it's part of your brother's upbringing or original disposition/personality to commit that crime. It was nothing your parents did or could have done differently. It was just his frontal lobe brain damage. That will do it. I have seen a lot of documentaries on this. Though not all ******ers have frontal lobe damage, the ones that do did what they did because of that damage. There is a strong link between some notorious ******ers and their brain damage in child hood. Your parents can go through all of the things they think they've done wrong, but they won't rest easy until they see the truth.. brain damage caused what happened and nothing else. You should grieve the loss of your brother as he was before he changed, if you haven't already. The way I see it, you are luckier than other families who don't have a definite cause to link the reason for a m***** too. Bad things happen to good people. A bad thing happened to your brother when his brain was damaged. I also know something about grown children who begin acting different. This is something that is out of your parents control. Out of their realm of comprehension. I think even the best parents don't know how to deal with this. A lot of the time when grown children start acting different because their brain chemistry has changed, for some reason it's like the most deceptive downward spiral. Everyone can be around and no one can understand or predict anything, but hindsight is sometimes a little clearer. I'm sorry your dad is having a terrible time. I hope he can find some facts. If you want the names of documentaries or exerpts from documentaries, let me know.

Edited by grace286
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