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Positivity Thread: 3 Things That Went "right" Today, Edition #9.


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Monday June 18-2012:

1. Actually got up between say 10:00am and 1:00pm before taking afternoon nap to finish off sleep. Then up again for good maybe 3 or 3:30pm (but I struggled with tiredness and weird feelings after that--for a LOOOONG time). Was good to have the productive period earlier in the day. It included talking to Russ directly re rebuilding the stone wall in Spring Hill backyard and restoring the missing passageway to the road in the wall by Route 195. He said that he would measure, and also find out how many stones are available from Tom's farm and then let me know. Scrolled through my 2 cameras and found those boundary marker photos that I knew I had somewhere; and after identifying them by "name", I was able to locate them on my computer.

2. Got check-in email off to Pam with my various griefs of the past week.

3. Accomplished this after 3pm: Paid oil bill over phone, phoned doctor to have their office send me complete lab reports from last week. Last report came in today (folate) and it was okay. Listened to message from Kris on 4764 number saying he won't be able to do Wormwood yard for next 2 weeks. Sent email to real estate Rich, a follow up to phone call to him yesterday, praying for response re boundary disputes and contractors. Emailed EFT counselor back, about new replacement appointment. Tonight, paid current Loretta bill plus Rich WH yard bill via my online bank.

4. Talked to Loretta at 5:45pm. Went over my letter to Luba and edited it. Can't reach Michael for any help on this, have been trying him since Friday. Better to go with "bird in hand" and edit with Loretta to get it done.

5. Dissolved after talking to Loretta (I keep wondering what a final meltdown is like??), and couldn't manage cooking supper, so grabbed enough food to keep me going upstairs. Improved once I reached the upper floor. Watched a biography of Colonel Sanders on some cable channel. Later also saw a good episode of "The Big C" on cable, with the main cancer character taking a time out stranded on a fishing boat with a Spanish-speaking young man.

6. VERY IMPORTANT: only smile of the day was responding to someone here on the Depression Forums, who posted on another thread with an avatar of an elephant. Because of the particular thread, I had a momentary happy vision of an elephant spraying itself with water.

7. Got first draft of Luba letter typed.

8. Finally around 1:30am, got myself a late night supper of fish and asparagus and green juice.

And then came here to type....

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Wednesday June 20-2012:

Stressful overnight with choppy sleep as I deal with the neighbors' landscape intrusions at my late parents' house. I left a voicemail at their office in the middle of the night to assuage my fears that they would act too swiftly and do permanent damage. I remember getting about 4 hours sleep from maybe 6am to 10am, then was pulled awake by stressful thoughts again. Ended up getting up and taking action for a while, then back for an afternoon nap between maybe 2pm and 4pm. But out of my tiredness and confusion, I will try to pull some positives....

1. ***Talked to Rose at Surveyor's Office. She got Joe to go out this afternoon between 2 and 3pm to re-mark the front left surveyor's pin between neighbors' property and mine.*** This was second most positive of the day!!! Hadn't talked to Rose in a couple of years, but she remembered me, was helpful and super-friendly. And Joe was prompt in his actions, leaving me messages both before and after he went. ("After" message was at 2:52pm.)

2. UPS delivery today of replacement Kimberlee chair yoga dvd, left by garage mid-afternoon. I brought it in and opened it right away.

3. Phoned Erin about working briefly this Friday and then shopping on Sunday.

4. Tammy did a "drive-by" at Spring Hill for me and took 15 photos of the current landscape situation and surveyor's new marker.

5. Tried New Haven Warmline sometime after 5pm, but couldn't get through (busy signal). Ended up talking to Beth at PA Warmline around 5:40pm or so for 20 minutes. Talked over how to "protect" my land, maybe with a "Private Property" sign?

6. Best of the day: Keeping 7pm phone coaching appointment with Cynthia, which pulled me out of my bad place long enough to stuff more green soup and green juice into me after I talked to her and helped me feel briefly "normal" and okay (a rarity these days). I was aware again that my coaching really helps her focus and move forward, but also there's a side benefit for me that we share a lot of common interests (like cats and gluten-free diet and how to run a self-help support group). I gave Cynthia an extra ten minutes tonight because I was finally relaxing when talking to her, first time all day.

7. Late night after midnight, got functional again. FINALLY got new Kimberlee chair yoga dvd to operate on my laptop. For some reason, it worked when I used Real Player, but not with VLC or Windows Media players. Having gotten it to work, I actually DID some of the exercises!!! (in small 5 to ten minute sections, which actually works for me). Typed up notes from Cynthia coaching session.

8. Late night HBO documentary special: One Nation Under Dog. Most affecting part for me was the part dealing with a pet loss group, I believe in San Francisco.

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Thursday June 21-2012:

1. I got up more or less at 3pm (better than 4pm!!) after a vivid dream about my late Mom (very much alive in the dream) forcing me out of my childhood bedroom.

2. Michael left brief voicemail around 1:30pm while I was still sleeping, his typical "talk to you later" msg.--but any message is better than no message.

3. ***Best of the day: around 4pm, I talked to Brian at computer shop in Windsor re dvd players and dvd duplicaters, also about scheduling a possible home visit from a Windsor shop technician.

4. Tammy phoned 3:30pm to CANCEL for the day because of her mother's illness, however we managed to reach a compromise of her at least "doing" Spring Hill: putting up a strip of yellow accident tape along the property line and taking fresh photos.

She also brought me my mail and fed Maggie, all of this between approximately 5 and 5:30pm.

5. Incredibly wiped out. Still, I managed to consume more green soup: even though this isn't the tastiest batch, I still swear that it's really good for me and it "sits" really well on my stomach. Afterwards, upstairs and back to bed, watching "House Hunters International" episodes and later, a Bobby Darin/Sandra Dee film on TCM. Later still, I sent off emails to raw chef Brandon about menu for this week and to Pam to say Happy Birthday and Bon Voyage for her trip to Italy.

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Friday June 22-2012:

1. Incredibly, around 5:20am I was able to use EFT meridian tapping to get myself to sleep! This was my 2nd time successful with that! Resulted in my being able to get up comfortably for the day by one pm!!! YAY!

2. Made end-of-week phone calls to: (1) consumer protection re yardworker's license and any complaints? (none!!), (2) surveyor's office (left msg for Rose), (3) Dr. Venti's office re re-sending p. 2 of bloodwork results, which I can't read. Later, I reached Rose directly at Surveyor's office and talked for about 12 minutes around 3pm. She verified that there are indeed TWO pins, one inside and one outside the stone wall!!! Very nicely, she is giving me a reduced "Friday bargain price"(!!!) of $37.50 for the 1/2 hour that it took to re-establish the property pin. (That's a a savings of about $10.)

3. I grabbed Loretta appointment from 405pm or so to 430pm. That's in spite of a loud clamorous thunderstorm and Erin arriving at 412pm while I was still talking (she took care of Maggie while I continued with Loretta). Loretta and I proofed my new edition of Luba letter with its needed changes, and then discussed possible eventual disposition of Spring Hill land, including to Historical Society or to Joshua's Trust. Or donating it to Cowans as an addition to their land. Erin gave me thumbs up while I was on the phone that yellow boundary tape is still in place!!!! YAY!

4. Erin worked for me today from 3:55pm to 7:00pm. Erin took 7 fresh photos for me at Spring Hill amid the rain, and will send them to me later.

She also got mail: Good Bears of the world mailing, Metlife cd renewal, eye doctor bill.

Electricity went out dramatically for one minute amidst thunder storms, while Erin was here and I was talking to Loretta. It knocked out the left kitchen counter electrical outlets and we couldn't seem to restore via circuit breaker, so we instead rigged a heavy duty extension cord and power strip to temporarily power the tv and cable box, also the blender and hot plate when needed.

In making room for the power strip on the kitchen counter, we packed up some empty containers in a paper bag and put an unopened fresh jar of raw tahini away in cupboard (near remaining canisters of Shaklee instant protein).

I was most proud of accomplishing two things NOT on today's Erin "to do" list with confidence and calm:

First was getting the tv/cable powered up again even without those circuits. Second was sitting down with Erin as a listener, to go over the entire Luba letter, reading outloud and making final editing decisions.

5. Around 7pm: Shocking news, via Dignity email, of death of Fr. Richard!!

My reaction: It can't be true!!!

I did the best I could re Father Richard death: left msgs with Michael and Peter, combed Facebook for news, Facebook-friended Christine and Linda to see if I could learn new information there. Tried to find Lorraine's phone number.

6. Being more aware than usual of "lost opportunity" (I never had a final conversation with Fr. Richard), I tried phoning Kristin for the first time in a long time. I called around 10:30pm or so and left message.

7. Then Called PA Warmline 11pm or so and talked to Lee-ann. Mixed results.

8. Late night, I got brief emails from Peter, with one facebook link re Richard, one just saying "good to hear your voice". And at one am or so, a voicemail from Michael that I somehow missed. Tried calling back almost immediately, but didn't work.

9. Lastly, explored website of dvd yoga teacher Kimberlee and sent her an email to ask about private consulting.

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Saturday June 23-2012:

1. Didn't get to sleep til past 7am this morning; haunted by thoughts of Father Richard's passing and the meaning of it all. In spite of this, got myself upright by 3pm or so and had yogurt and watched golf, while I waited for Loretta to return my call requesting phone appointment. Sadly, I had goofed it and called the wrong number (she was no longer in office, but at home) and had missed the appt. window. I was crushed--but at 4:34pm, Loretta phoned back, saying she realized how significant a loss this was for me (Fr. Richard), and she could manage to talk with me for 20 minutes while she prepared for her guests. So we did talk. It was important to me not only to at last be responded to by someone, and be listened to, but also Loretta knew Sarah's last name, who is one person I had been struggling to reach. Loretta also re-motivated me to keep searching for Lorraine's phone contact, and I had the inspiration to try it the old-fashioned way through the hard copy white pages phone book.

2. Then came the "miracle" of the day: When I tried Lorraine on her home phone at 5:07pm (for 12 minutes) and Sarah on her home phone at 5:47pm (for 46 minutes), I got through directly BOTH times! That happens so rarely these days, especially on a home phone. The conversation with Lorraine gave me all I needed to know about how, when and why Fr. Richard passed (it was expected, sadly cancer which re-occurred) plus the bonus of learning about a memorial service this Sunday.

The call with Sarah was a treasure. She is a very special person, kind and well-spoken and great to listen to. She gave me a great line about Richard, which I will remember: "The loss is great, but the gift is greater." It had been so long since I had spoken to her, and in some ways it felt like speaking with Richard again. I had forgotten how much I missed her when she moved away to Vermont. She took my email and phone number, and gave me her emails, to "keep me in the loop" re any upcoming memorial news.

3. I left a 2nd message for Michael asking about transport to the Hartford memorial service tomorrow, then I went downstairs and fixed myself a healthy salad supper. Then back upstairs to bed for a nap from maybe 9pm to 11pm. When I woke up, I phoned Michael and we talked for a half hour or more. Made plans for memorial service for tomorrow, then I tried to "power down" for sleep.

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- Zumba with a friend

- nice relaxing bath in the afternoon

- went out to watch the Spain v France match and had a girlie evening.


- laundry done

- went or lunch with a group of people I just met at the Church run place where I watch the football.

- Chilling out at home before my daughter comes back from her grandparents' house

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- Opened all the Grad Party cards I got.

- Ate leftover cake, barbecue wings, and candy.

- Got the first Fanfarlo album, as well as one by The Submarines.

- Listened to aforementioned artists while walking through the park for the first time in weeks. (There's been a huge heat wave lately.) I was in a very airy mood, I seemed to be wandering and I seemed fascinated by what little nature there actually is in that park.

- Read more of my book.

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- congratulations on your graduation modestmouse_2011.

My positives for today:

- got through busy day at work.

- had long conversation with my Mum, they are on a 3 month holiday

- having groceries delivered soon.

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Sunday, June 24, 2012: Successful trip to Hartford for memorial service for Fr. Richard--

1. I set my phone alarm and successfully got myself awake at 10 a.m. after four hours of sleep.

2. Michael arrived at 12:12 noon to pick me up for trip to Hartford. Two minutes into the trip, we experienced brake failure on Dad's car, but managed to bring it back to Wormwood driveway and switch to Michael's car. Thank goodness, Michael's A/C worked okay and towels raised his seat so I could manage getting in and out okay.

3. We easily found the Parish Hall. Thankfully, even though we were late for the 1:30pm service, we were just in time for Lorraine's eulogy for Father Richard. Peter was already there, and slipped over to sit next to us. Rick and Joe were also there, amongst about 20 people in attendance. There had been a really nice ripple effect which had increased the attendance. Rick told me that he was only there because of my Facebook posting. And Peter was there because Michael had let him know via cell phone.

4. The service presented me with a small taste of my beloved former Dignity services-- from the wonderful sharing of hugs during the sign of peace to the offered prayers of the week to the breaking of bread together.

5. Along with the regular church program, there was a nice remembrance sheet for Father Richard, including the beautiful prayer of St. Francis. Lorraine sweetly make sure that I got a copy after the service. She also gave me one of the four large 8 x 10 color glossy photos that had been mounted at the altar during the service.

6. After the service, they served refreshments and I was lucky to be able to eat red grapes as my gluten free snack of choice. It was good that I was able to get a seat at the table with Lorraine so we could have a further chance to talk.

7. Peter and Michael went with me to China Pan restaurant in West Hartford for a late lunch after everyone left the church. I asked to sit at a table rather than a booth so that I could get up from seated position more easily. In order to stay gluten free, Michael suggested that I order steamed mixed vegetables, plain chicken and brown rice with no condiments. I treated Michael to his meal in exchange for his having driven me to the service. We finished up around 5:20 p.m. and at that point Peter said goodbye.

8. Michael and I continued on to my house in West Hartford to briefly check in on it. I saw the pruned tree in the front yard for the first time, and we picked up some trash in the yard. Then Michael checked the dehumidifier in the basement and the air conditioner in the attic, while I uncovered a set of chair cushions to take back to Wormwood with me. We were there only very briefly. I think we left around 6:30 p.m.

9. Michael and I drove directly back to wormwood, arriving maybe 7:30 p.m. or so. Michael then hung out for two hours or so to talk before leaving to drive home.

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Monday, June 25, 2012

1, I was exhausted and brain burnt as I slept into Monday afternoon.

Positive: I finally was able to compose a raw menu for Brandon, and phoned him about it late afternoon, following up by sending him an e-mail with the menu around 5 PM. At the last minute, I remembered to add in the pesto sauce we had talked about last time.

2. I had gotten e-mails from both Karen in regards to massage appointments and Erica in regards to a possible Wednesday appointment. It took me forever to respond but by late Monday night I had done so. Before saying yes to Erica, I verified that Tammy could give me a ride on Wednesday if I needed.

3. Tonight I watched endless episodes of HGTVs "Love it or list it" TV series while I tried to get some rest. I avoided eating Chinese leftovers in case that might be contributing to my hives.

4. I had two movies on TV late-night tonight: Jack Nicholson/Diane Keaton favorite film of mine plus "The Last Mimsy". I was also starting to unpack from my Hartford trip yesterday

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Additional positives from Sunday June 24-2012:

1. The outage of the left-hand electrical circuit in kitchen from June 22nd Friday's thunder storm was resolved within minutes by Michael, who suggested correctly that it was simply a GFI outlet that had been jolted "off". I discovered a hidden outlet behind the tv which simply needed to have its reset button pushed!

Saved me hiring an electrician and a lot of work clearing the counter in preparation for that.

2. And for once I wore socks with my shoes, because I had someone there to help me get them on my feet. It made my feet much more comfortable during the day and has made me think I need to do some more research on "senior" websites to find a reaching tool to enable me to do that on my own!

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- congratulations on your graduation modestmouse_2011.

Thank you Girly. Also...Moroccan mint tea? That. Sounds. Delicious.

I figure since this hasn't been the easiest day I should really focus on these positives:

1. I got my last ordered CD, and listened to a whole lot of new music

2. I looked around DF quite a bit today.

3. I went to Starbucks and took my 90 minute writing sample for placement at my university...and did fantastic! (I think) I got lucky on the prompt.

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1. Had hospital lunch, which was actually good. Veggie burger, with strawberry ice cream and chamomile tea.

2. Watched the Meet The Pyro video for Team Fortress. Troubling, but unsurprising.

3. Got my special dorm linen stuffs. Only ordered them two days ago, what a world.

4. Read a lot of college info about first-year registration and prep.

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