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How Do You Feel Today #25


Trace

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It's now my birthday. I'm kind of nervous about work as I don't really like all the attention.

Anyway, I feel exhausted. I had a very hard day today at work. I ended up in a fight with someone and the whole department heard us yelling.

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I feel tired, but I am sooo happy, as today is the last day at work before a 5 day weekend and I get to get away from the annoying woman across the way from me in the office. Yippeeeeee!!!!

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Better than yesterday, which was better than Tuesday for sure. My friend who was sexually assulted is doing much better now... mentally, and otherwise.... not that you ever recover from that fully, but she isn't in denial anymore and is taking pro-active steps against the dude.

Hopefully it doesn't bother anyone if I'm super open about this online becasue I can't really do that IRL about this

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I'm stumbling blindly through finals week at school, which is absolutely hellish because everyone is getting me through it despite my just wanting to stop and leave. I have a paper and a final to do basically within the next 24 hours.

I just have a bad feeling about everything else I have to do.

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Feeling repulsed by myself right now. Back to being uber depressed, becoming clear today that there is a loooooooonnngggggggg way to go. Finding it hard to believe that so many people in the world right now are alive/ happy/ in love! I can hardly fathom, I've been separated from life for so long, feel like the world is progressing in brilliant ways and people are in synch with it it all and Im here. This is insanity. beginning to think my brain is so screwed up that I wont be able to get better... no no no. Alas, I fight on... i just want to be wonderful

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I'm in pretty good spirits! I went to a postseason college women's tennis tourney. It was a little long, so I wound up suffering mild exposure (dehydration and sunburn), so I left it a bit nauseated, which I can't stand. But I am better now. Hydrated, fed, and exposed to lots of AC.

Going back for more tomorrow,probably. SDSU vs. whoever the TCU/Wyoming winner was. It feels very, very good to go out for stuff I like. But, too much is always too much.

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