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Liliah

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Hey there,

For the vast majority of my life, I have had extremely chronic and severe insomnia. I have tried Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata, Ativan, Trazadone, Benzos, Melatonin, Rozerem, Valerian, Lavender, and all of the medical (including holistic) cocktails under the "never going to sleep again" umbrella. I exercise, and no, not right before bed (i.e., I even hiked 22 miles, up and down mountains, recently, and still had to take Ambien to sleep!). I sleep in a cool, dark room. I try to maintain a reasonable sleep schedule, which I was not at all able to do when dangerously depressed. I eat...okay. Perhaps too little, but nothing like my "Ensure only" days, before being hospitalized ASAP to save my life. I have engaged CBT and DBT tactics, which help but not nearly enough. Additionally, I wake up at night even when on these medications. In short, at 29, I am SICK OF IT.

:notify:

So, what does one do? For me, it does not seem tenable, or at least desirable, to be on medication for the rest of my life just so I can sleep, but it's truly starting to feel that way. I have already accepted that I may be on my good old MAOI forever in order to keep from going fully bonkers again (and that's okay if it must be; only time will tell), but I would love to shove less pills into my gob every, single day. It's bad enough that Parnate only comes in 10mg pills, and that I have to take eight of those bad boys. I'd be quite keen to stop taking a hypnotic (addictive) or benzo (addictive and poor quality deep sleep) or Trazadone (nightmare city), but don't want to be semi-nocturnal again.

I'm sure there are any of you in this metaphorical boat. What are your opinions of your issues with sleep and with sleep medication. Advise? Anything! I'd be very interested to learn from others.

Take care and we as well as you can,

Liliah

Edited by Liliah
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I think some meds can actually mess up your natural cycle, which happened to me, and it took me a long time to go off sleeping aids because at first you have to go through worst insomnia, but ultimately it gets better once you get over the dependency. Have you talked to your doctor about this? I also have problem sleeping for as long as I remember so I totally understand how frustrating it is. Hope you will get better soon.

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that's a real hard issue.......now you didn't mention it, but have you done any time in a "Sleep clinic" many times they can discover the reason you do not sleep...just a suggestion anyway. Good luck with that though....i suffer from insomnia from time to time, so I really feel for you

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My experience has been the same as HRiddle - I was on all of the fun cocktails and went through hell getting off of them. There were still bouts of insomnia, but not chronic like it was on meds. I've since been diagnosed bipolar, and those drugs are ridiculously sedating. I think some doctors use things like zyprexa in REALLY low doses to help with sleep. Take care.

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Hey there,

Thanks for all of your support and replies. I've been researching Quazepam as I've never tried it (my new goal is to reach the "I've tried over 25 medications" platform. Saying "22" is just boring now), and it sounds promising for several reasons. I did have a sleep study (though, admittedly, it's hard to sleep with 28 electrodes glued to your body, and I was essentially up all night all), and they found I do not reach level 4 sleep, and as such lack SWS like nobody's business. I should say I have been completely off of medication—once for a year—and ultimately reached for an old bad habit and self-medicated because I couldn't take it anymore. Even as a child, my mother said I was a real issue when it was bedtime or night, and I'd constantly be up, reading under the sheets (despite threats that I'd damage my eyes and need reading glasses, and that I would "ruin the way sleep works," both of which came true. Ha!). The longest I've been up for without medication is four days. I can't go through that again. I'm lucky to be here.

I mean, what happens if I take this stuff forever anyway? I'm probably going to be on Parnate forever too. (I take my last dose VERY far from bed time). It used to upset me brutally, but after realizing that I function better with it, I started thinking of this as a medication to treat a chronic illness, much like my father's Gleevec.

I was just wondering is anyone else has gotten out of this rabbit hole and now is functioning normally. It's nice to see there's hope. But I just I don't know if there is for me in this regard. Maybe another sleep study is in order, come to think of it, as the other was two years ago!

Solidarity,

Liliah

Edited by Liliah
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