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How To Explain This Someone? Advice?


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This guy asked me out and I'm fine with that, I would like to stay away from alcohol and drugs from now on. It's been about a month and I want to keep going, now that I'm not on my meds, those are the two things that put me in a suicidal state the next day. He doesn't know me at all, we met through his sister which I also just met. He asked me out for "drinks" were in our earliest twenties....it's never just one drink. Even just one drink gets me buzzed bc I never drink and I'm way more sensitive bc again....stopped the meds. So how do I say no I guess in a nice way? And no I can't tell him why that would be out of the question. I thought about suggesting something else, but there is nothing else to do. As a first date, the movies suck you can't talk to each other. Dinner is a little over the top...so what's left? not much...especially in this dead beat town. Nothing out doors bc it's still too cold. It's driving me nuts.

Edited by lindahurt
Trigger/TOS Violation
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You can let him know you'll prefer going to a restaurant or public pub for a sandwich and soft drink instead. Its nothing wrong with letting someone know you don't drink or care for alcohol. You don't have to go into details on why. If he has a problem with that and tries to persuade you otherwise, then he's not respecting your wishes and maybe you should think again about whether you care to go out with him. Don't ever feel pressured to do something you don't want to. Be your own person and stand by the decisions you make that are in your best interest.

Lindahurt

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I agree with lindahurt, if you ask to do something else and he tries to push you - run the other way, cause he isn't worth your time.

Another idea could be a coffee date .. relaxing, lots of time to chat and get to know one another, and not a lot of money

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In my experience, most people won't take offense if you don't want to go to a bar. I've personally never been out for "drinks." Even if I wanted to, my body simply cannot tolerate alcohol because it lacks the enzymes to break it down and I get severely sick. If this guy likes you in any way, he will be very open to alternatives. Maybe go out for lunch instead (less intimate) or a coffee shop like Eonryo suggested. I do believe that you are worrying for no reason. There are people who drink and those who don't. There is nothing to be ashamed of because you fall into the latter category. As you get closer to this man, you can maybe tell him your reasons for not wanting to drink. I am very certain that he will be understanding of your reasons and will respect your wishes.

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