Woke Up Thinking Depression Was Gone, But I Was Wrong

[Lisa15]

I woke up this morning after having slept in for the first time in a while. The sun was shining in the room, reflecting off the snow, and as I stretched, I thought, "Gee, I feel better. I don't think I'm depressed anymore." I got really excited about that, so I got out of bed and started getting breakfast. But shortly after I started doing that, the anxiety kicked in, and the so did the subsequent depression.

My question is, do I take this as a hopeful sign or not? I mean, to have even a few minutes without depression is better than I've had in months. But the fact that it returned so quickly and easily is, well, depressing.

[breezin]

I think you should savor those moments to the fullest and remember them. They are an inspiration for you of what can be possible!

[gemstar]

I think it's a good sign. As you say, any moment without depression is better than what you've been going through prior to that. Keep doing whatever you've been doing, as it helped you wake up feeling great. May you have more and more of those moments!

[starr]

Hi,

I know when I am having what I call an 'episode'

of depression that it comes and goes before

I completely feel better. This usually happens

when I am in the middle of changing meds. Once

I get adjusted to a new med I usually have 5-6

years of remission before my med poops-out.

I hope you continue to see improvement!

best wishes,

starr

[Lisa15]

Thanks everyone. As I said, the good feeling didn't last that long, but even though I started feeling lousy again, I did receive some cards in today's mail from friends that helped, so I'm beginning to get a little optimistic.

[gemstar]

Oh, so sweet to get cards! Aren't friends so great when they know how to be there for you? ((hugs)) I hope lots of nice things keep happening for you!

[Lisa15]

Hi Gemstar,

LOVE your profile pic! Thanks for the ((hugs)) and good wishes. Today some ugly, intrusive thoughts greeted me upon awakening, but the sun is shining, and I'm trying to bat them away. I think depression is a lot like alcoholism. Sometimes one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time...But I know I'm not alone in this, thanks to people like you and the others on the forums. Blessings to you!

[HRiddle]

Oh, another story of my life...

For two days I really thought I was getting better and the depression was gone, but today I fell into that dark despair again.

[Lisa15]

Try to focus on the good days, HRiddle. I know that's easy for me to say and very hard to do, but if you can remember that you DID have a couple of good days, it might help you through the dark despair. At least that's what I'm trying to do.

[Bdh25]

Hey Lisa, yes it's a good sign that you are able to feel good if even for a few moments. Did you ever hear of "mind over body"? Yeah that won't work when it comes to anx&dep. They are gonna show up when whenever they want to. Don't get down on yourself when they show up. It's great that you are able to notice your moods and feelings and when they come and go, keep that up! I know it's cliche, but it is one day at a time. If you have a bad day then maybe tomorrow will be better, and when tomorrow is better then the next day might be even better, don't get ahead of yourself tho. Hold on and let things run their course. I have myself had a great day to have the next one be rough, but don't get down, the better ones will far surpass the bad ones in numbers. Usually when I wake up in the morning like you I can tell if I feel good or not. If I don't I just tell my wife "I am having a bad day" and she knows to leave me be and tomorrow will be better. I can really relate to your feelings, I know them very well. So I can assure you it gets better!

[Lisa15]

Thanks Bdh25. Just knowing that other people experience the same stuff helps, although I wish none of us had to go through what we do.

[ArthurP]

There's a painting called "The Nightmare" by John Fuseli which you're probably seen. It's a woman asleep with a goblin sitting on her chest and horse with glowing eyes behind them. That's how I feel some mornings. For a brief moment I feel great---then the goblin is sitting on my chest again. The goblin is my depression and the horse is my anxiety. I'm having a rough day today, but for a couple of days I was good. Enjoy your mornings as brief as they are. In time they will hopefully get longer and longer until you have full days.

Edited February 28, 2012 by ArthurP

[Lisa15]

I never heard of the painting before, but I'm going to Google it. Sounds like a perfect description of me too!