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Is This What You Call Depression?


CGray

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Hi, I'm new here

I've been suffering for the past five years - I''m feeling neutral/down at the moment, but by far not the most severely down I get. I want your opinions. Here is a quick bit of background info: have a lovely girlfriend, 19 years of age, studying Psychology at Uni, have caring parents and family and on paper I should be a happy man as I am fairly intelligent and have everything that should be there.

I've been prescribed 20mg Citalopram, waiting to hear back for CBT, and while it helps the moods not be so severe, it is still disabling me, emotionally and physically. Like many other depressed people, getting out of bed is a choir, as is showering - let alone keeping up with my studies.

I am a fairly sociable person but I am apparently odd to say the least. I laugh at inappropriate things other people call sick, I struggle to feel normal emotions like most people (happiness, guilt, maybe even sadness), feel anger and emptiness and often get described as 'evil' and 'messed up in the head' despite people not knowing what mental illness - if any, I suffer from.

The thing which is the worse is the lack of motivation and ambition - I cannot bare doing ANY of the activities I used to do (gym 5x a week). How do I get this 'physical' or 'emotional' drive that people label as ambition. Call me naive, but I cannot ever recall feeling that.

Anyone care to share any tips, thoughts or anything else. Do you think it sounds like depression? or Depression with mere personality flaws? or other illnesses

Edited by CGray
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I'm 18, have a lovely girlfriend, caring parents, and I'm studying Linguistics at a Uni, and I suffer from both depression and anxiety, as of 3-4 years. It's on and off. Just thought I'd share cause we seem pretty similar here. I empathize completely with your symptoms, only mine include anxiety too, so I never feel relaxed, I worry all day, and the physical symptoms are borderline unbearable. Today was a lot better though, I've slowing been re-training my brain, thought wise. I try to catch myself when I'm in that "negative thinking cycle". Also, I take 40mg of Prozac, which I like to think helps. I've taken valium in the past for my anxiety, and it really helped. Something I haven't done in a very long time which I plan on restarting soon is meditation, it's probably the key for beating mental illnesses, and it's just being overlooked, but that's just my opinion.

Just thought I'd share. :)

-- Angoisse

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Hi CGray and Welcome to DF,

Well it does sound like your medication is yet to become effective, so when your Doctor reviews it and increased it you will feel so much better on the most effective dose for you (therapeutic level )

This will then give you the energy, motivation and joy to get up and get on with your life. You will start to feel great ans start to feel a high self esteem. So start now by working on yourself to move yourself out of any negativity .

Start to make changes and decisions to move and propel you forward to be the best person you can be , the most passionate and highly motivated person as well.

People only get stuck in the negativity because of being on ineffective levels of medication and a cycle of negative thinking. Once you move forward and learn to use your energy to be the best you can all these old feelings will start to ease off.

So do as much as you can the start the process by changing what you can. See your Doctor and get your medication sorted( reviewed and increased)

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

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Thanks for the words of encouragement. It is helpful to hear other people's stories.

@angoisse14 - good luck with yours. I used to meditate but I found that my inability to hold my attention made it impossible. I am going to have to start training myself cognitively like you.

@Jimbow15 - thanks, it means a lot to hear it. I'll probably book a doctors appointment soon see if he up's it to 30\40mg. It's nice to hear a positive spin on things for once. Gives me that little bit of hope

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