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guitarfan1977

Does Anyone Get Jealous Over Other People Accomplishments

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Hi,

I was wondering if anyone gets or jealous or more particular a little angry or rattled when you see other peoples lives going so well. If I am browsing Facebook i get really mad when people saying how they got this new job, or they are getting married or how much they love their boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever and how great everything is. I am not trying to sound like a sour puss or anything. But I am past the point of dropping everything and celebrate whatever. I know maybe i should avoid those like Facebook but I dont have a choice as I am really into social media and I use it to of the various news feeds i subscribe too for tech news and other things for job leads and other things. Their are many people who are not as well off as they think. There have been times when people would tell me something like they are getting married or something of that nature and it causes me great depression or something and I feel sick to my stomach and I get the empty feeling. Maybe similar of a feeling you should feel if someone died.

Just curious what everyone thinks.

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I dont get mad at friends happy statuses. At times I do feel a little jealous though. They dont have to deal with mental illness and are able to live their lives to the fullest without limitations. But this is the card I was dealt so I have to try and live with it as best I can. I feel less jealous when I have something good happen for me and I share it, everyone is very supportive and happy for me as I appear to be for them.

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When I am depressed, I do tend to get jealous of others. I don't ever get jealous of relationship statuses, or the fact that someone got engaged, married, pregnant, and such. In fact, I love seeing things like that. I mostly get jealous when there is something that someone wanted to accomplished so bad (job, music career, launching of book, weight loss, etc), and despite the odds, they made it. It's a strange thing though. I can get jealous when I am away from the person but when in their presence the feelings of jealousy or bitterness goes away and I am able to celebrate their accomplishments.

Bottom line -- jealousy is totally normal. Depression just makes it worse. :(

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Its so normal for us to get jealous of others. I always get this sinking feeling inside when i watch the people lead their life normally without having to deal with depression or anxiety daily. It so freaks me out when i struggle with the things that peoplehave no issues doing. I feel agitated on GOD that why i have to go through so much of pain when the rest of the world is having a real good time. But, i can just rave and rant..and do nothing else. Sigh!!

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Hi,

Well it can depend on how you feel about yourself as well. I found that by doing voluntary work and keeping busy I don't make time to think about how other peoples lives might be better than mine or different.

What you see, hear and read about in Facebook and on is just other peoples view and often not a real picture of how they live their daily lives - probably nothing unusual.

So make yourself as happy as possible , be happy with your life and create you own world of happiness.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

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as of the moment...i am. my batchmates are all in good place - married, happy and they got the job they wanted. While im stuck, feeling stagnant and not growing up. Something is definitely wrong. Im the one who others predicted, would go places but here i'am. On the same page.

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ALL THE TIME - I get so broody and gutted that so many of my friends have had kids/pregnant at the moment. I feel left out of that joy as I really want children and think thats when I will feel fulfilled, when I become a mother.

Also same as what some people have said, when people achieve things I haven't :( it just seems like some people are born with all the luck and I'm like when will I get a break???

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I can totally relate. My whole life I've been obsessed with the music industry, but when I graduated 10 years ago the industry was going broke so there were no prospects of jobs. I met my partner who was an aspiring music producer 5 years ago. And now? Well he has had a number 1 single and a number 2. I am not jealous per se, as I know him and I see the ugly side of what he does, but it does make me feel really bad about my lack of achievements. Further to this, we also attend events in this industry and I feel so out of place and feel the people look down at me cos I have a normal job. I also get incredibly jealous of being surrounded by people who have what I wanted all my life.

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Hi,

I was wondering if anyone gets or jealous or more particular a little angry or rattled when you see other peoples lives going so well. If I am browsing Facebook i get really mad when people saying how they got this new job, or they are getting married or how much they love their boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever and how great everything is. I am not trying to sound like a sour puss or anything. But I am past the point of dropping everything and celebrate whatever. I know maybe i should avoid those like Facebook but I dont have a choice as I am really into social media and I use it to of the various news feeds i subscribe too for tech news and other things for job leads and other things. Their are many people who are not as well off as they think. There have been times when people would tell me something like they are getting married or something of that nature and it causes me great depression or something and I feel sick to my stomach and I get the empty feeling. Maybe similar of a feeling you should feel if someone died.

Just curious what everyone thinks.

YES! I know this all to well. It is one of the main reasons I deleted facebook. However, you need to ask yourself this... Why are these people REALLY posting all this stuff for the world to see?? Let's be honest, facebook is open. Anyone can see it if they want to. You're putting your private information on this and you really think other don't have a way in? There is always a way.

Facebook should really be called "Lookhowgreatmylifeisbook.com" or "lookhow$hittymylifeisbook.com" Some use the site for good reasons (family long distance, networking, catching up with old friends) but for the most part in my opinion its just a way gloat. Either way, I'm there with you. I hated seeing some of those posts. Made me feel like I was doing something wrong in my life.

BTW, not to hijack your thread, but your name peaks my intrest. I'm a long time player of the guitar. What kind do you play and what is your style? I find music to be a wonderful outlet for my depression!

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Hi,

I was wondering if anyone gets or jealous or more particular a little angry or rattled when you see other peoples lives going so well. If I am browsing Facebook i get really mad when people saying how they got this new job, or they are getting married or how much they love their boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever and how great everything is. I am not trying to sound like a sour puss or anything. But I am past the point of dropping everything and celebrate whatever. I know maybe i should avoid those like Facebook but I dont have a choice as I am really into social media and I use it to of the various news feeds i subscribe too for tech news and other things for job leads and other things. Their are many people who are not as well off as they think. There have been times when people would tell me something like they are getting married or something of that nature and it causes me great depression or something and I feel sick to my stomach and I get the empty feeling. Maybe similar of a feeling you should feel if someone died.

Just curious what everyone thinks.

YES! I know this all to well. It is one of the main reasons I deleted facebook. However, you need to ask yourself this... Why are these people REALLY posting all this stuff for the world to see?? Let's be honest, facebook is open. Anyone can see it if they want to. You're putting your private information on this and you really think other don't have a way in? There is always a way.

Facebook should really be called "Lookhowgreatmylifeisbook.com" or "lookhow$hittymylifeisbook.com" Some use the site for good reasons (family long distance, networking, catching up with old friends) but for the most part in my opinion its just a way gloat. Either way, I'm there with you. I hated seeing some of those posts. Made me feel like I was doing something wrong in my life.

BTW, not to hijack your thread, but your name peaks my intrest. I'm a long time player of the guitar. What kind do you play and what is your style? I find music to be a wonderful outlet for my depression!

I agree. Facebook stinks!! I always get more jealous when I see others who post images, and how awesome their life is and mine is sh*T

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I've been jealous my whole life. I somehow try to balance that by counting whatever few blessing I do have. We live in such desperately bleak times. I read the newspaper everyday and it's filled with tales of woe and tragedy. Probably not a very comforting sentiment but given the kind of suffering out there, it helps me to focus on the few things I've got going on in my life. I find it helps counterbalance my jealousy.

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My problem is that I get jealous about the smallest things. I look at my Facebook, and just the very fact that other people are having conversations whereas I hardly ever get responses when I post status updates is enough to make me depressed and jealous. Then I see, "such-and-such-thing-happened-at-my-job" as a status update by teenagers on my friends list and I think, "how the heck does he/she even HAVE a job in these times, and more importantly, why can't I get one?!" Then I turn on the TV and see all the beautiful/famous people, part of a group I will never be in, and most of them people who do not relate to me and know not what it's like to be like me, and I get depressed simply at the thought that I am not one of them.

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Yeah, I get Jealous all the time. Even of other people who suffer from Depression but are high functioning. with college degrees, careers, good relationships w/ friends and Significant others. Why can't I be depressed like them.

Same w/ FB but I'm addicted.

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Hi there. I totally and completely relate...I get a pang of hurt like a hit to the stomach when i see people younger than me getting married, having children, friends passing the bar, becoming a doctor, starting independent businesses, going on expensive holidays, posting pics of glamorous parties etc etc etc....I have none of the above! Thing is, I try and remind myself facebook is only headlines and not many people would post the truth like "mmm365 is feeling like a total failure and drowning in a fog of pain..."

I try and remember everyone has their own crap, and it's not always going to show on facebook. It's like a digital 'brave face' for a lot of people. I've seen people raving about their new business (while knowing it's failing and about to go under). I've seen people raving about their new partners (and heard they end up being jerks or see them divorcing soon after). So who knows what's truly going on behind closed doors/offline.

For those that do look blindly 'happy' I think sometimes they are just that...blind. Blind in not acknowledging the real world can be ugly and painful too. I think a lot of blindly 'happy' people can be naive, believing that happiness stems from showing others their 'perfect life'. Good on them I suppose if it works...but honestly trying to live up to that perfect life broke me. As painful as the world may be, acknowledging and experiencing my depression has opened my eyes to humanity at it's ugliest and most compassionate. Often I say it's simultaneously the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me for that reason. Through experiencing my depression I feel like for the first time in my life I'm here, present and aware of being my own real individual...not just a product of what society, family or I expected of me.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes good news is uplifting...but I know the pangs of jealousy, and painful sadness I sometimes get from facebook actually stem from my own unrealistic high standards and expectations, so I basically have to manage social networking as a giant, rather prominent (!) trigger in my life! You are not alone in being affected!

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It really burns me up. Not because of the accomplishment of others but because of my jealousy. I don't want to be. But because I am, I feel really really guilty. I often wonder why others have it so easy while its been sooooooo hard for me. I used too think that I did to make God angry. I felt very alone. But I now know that He has good intentions for me. I just have to wait because if He did it for them then He will surely do it for me.

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I don't use Fakebook, big load of dung, IMO.

I used to get jealous of other's successes, but not anymore. It is a big waste of time and energy. Years ago, a friend of mine once gave me some of the best advice I've ever received. He said, " Never compare how you FEEL on the inside with how other people LOOK on the outside." I've not been a bit envious of others since hearing this. Everyone has troubles in their lives, and everyone has successes, no matter how seemingly small they might appear on the surface. I would rather be happy for the good fortunes of others, because doing so makes ME feel better, and it is no less than what I wish others would feel about my own triumphs.

Jealousy breeds bitterness, and bitterness is soul destroying.

Edited by LonelyHiker

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I think there is a tendency to get jealous when depressed. Jealousy can really consume you and be very negative, but it can also be positive. I like to think of it as a wake-up call. If I´m jealous of someone, I like to think: OK; why am I jealous? Is there something missing in my life that I could make for myself? It usually is.

When I´m depressed, other people´s achievements get all blown out of proportion. It´s the depression talking. And by all means, don´t believe all the statuses you read on Facebook. I agree with Lonelyhiker. I only use it professionally because I run several projects at a movie theatre and it´s good for promotion.

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Also same as what some people have said, when people achieve things I haven't :( it just seems like some people are born with all the luck and I'm like when will I get a break???

I have always wondered when my break may come I know so many others who have gotten brakes. I worked hard and struggled with most things in life. I have a learning disability, and struggled through school for my whole life nothing game easy to me and i kept working at it. I have depression, no job. Something has to give right. Aren't people supposed to be rewarded for all the hard work and be a peace I wish i could be thats all i ask for.

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Kind of. I feel jealous, and very resentful of myself. I'm sick, sick, sick of having to avoid doing most things, because I'm scared, or embarassed, or tired, or just too sad. I feel very jealous and sad of people who I see having a good time, or spending time with their best friend.

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I am and always have been a jealous person. It has caused issues in my relationships. It's also the reason I am an anomaly...I don't have facebook. I realize that people only post the good and want to seem happy all the time, but who knows what is really going on behind the scenes. Still, I don't care to read it...haha.

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When I´m depressed, other people´s achievements get all blown out of proportion. It´s the depression talking.

Yes, I've found that a lot. The only things that get me jealous are people who've done or achieved things that I really wanted to do, I guess 'cos I feel like a bit of a failure for not having done them.

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I don't get angry, as much as I get frustrated with myself. I try to do all the right things, yet seem to get nowhere, and some waltz in and get jobs and opportunities so easily. When I see a classmate that has a good career, it reminds me of the potential I have/had, but can't seem to convert into a career. Also, many people equate intelligence with being mentally healthy; people always say that I am intelligent and have talent, so why can't I do better.

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I get jealous. and I hate that I do. Jealousy is an awful thing, but i get so bummed out when i see others and their happy little lives. Especially seeing classmates showing pics around teh holidays of their kids. I should be at that same point of my life. I should be married and have kids. but I dont. It sucks

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