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Negative Surroundings


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I'm 21 and I still live at home, well technically, I live with my grandparents. I've been living with them since I was 11 thanks to some complications with my mom after my parents divorce. (i'm the oldest of five kids, was always the one treated badly) and I've always been use to the negativity in this house until the last few years when it's been directed at me.

Because of my problems it causes me and my family to clash, especially me and my grandmother because she is always telling me off. Saying, she understands I have problems but she expects me to just change them as if I could with the snap of my fingers. She's always yelling at me, or someone. I take the blunt of it since I live here.

In all, she controls me. I can't go anywhere without her approval. I can't even go to the doctors alone to speak to him about my problems because she's in the room and starts laughing the moment I start explaining something to him. And the doctor believes her, not me. She is always saying everything is in my head, that I make myself this way. So my doctor just throws medication after medication at me telling me to try this and that without really listening to how I'm describing how I feel...not that I really can I don't like describing it in front of her because it's uncomfortable...

They say you should be able to feel comfortable talking to "loved" ones like this but I can't.

It's not just the controlling issues, and the laughing at me and scolded me for the way I am. It's taking everything out on me. Or the fact that she is always yelling or voice is raised or someone else is yelling and voice is raised. There is so much yelling in this house that I've come to sitting with earplugs in my ears just to try and escape it.

Some part of me wonders how I would cope if I was in a calm quiet enviroment...

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Hi. It definitely sounds like you are in a horrible situation. Your grandma probably grew up in an environment like the one she puts you through now. Unfortunately, people repeat and keep going with the cycle instead of breaking it. Why can't you see a doctor without her being there? It would take courage, but I would tell her I need some privacy and some boundaries. Do/can you contribute financially to the household or do chores? If you can, that would give you a little more lee-way. I think you would be much better off moving away if possible. It would eat me up being in your situation.

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