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Hi There! New To Forum And My Significant Other's Depression

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Hi there!

I'm new and have never really used a forum or support group, though I feel like it could definitely help. I haven't really known anyone close to me that suffers from any kind of depression..correction, to my knowledge, until now. We've only officially been together (exclusively) for just a little under 2 months. I knew that she had casually mentioned months ago that she has had depression before but I had never actually encountered it first-hand. I think a couple of weeks ago is when I started noticing drastic changes: language and lack of endearing terms/names used, lack of affection, distance, wanting more space, short responses, etc. Then, this past week has been even worse. I noticed we hadn't really be spending any time together or one on one time together, for some one that used to txt me everyday it seemed like I had to mainly initiate conversation and the conversation seemed very short. I found myself feeling sad at the seeming switch that was flipped but didn't quite understand why or what or even how to approach asking what was wrong. Finally, last night I worked up the courage to confront it - via text - because I haven't really been seeing her face to face much...and because the text convo seemed cold and short again. I asked if she was ok because I told her I felt like I was bugging her/or she was busy lately. I told her I felt weird/funny and that things feel off between us. That's when she said she's felt things have been off lately too and then she shared she is depressed and extremely frustrated because her depression is making her feel so apathetic and numb. She texted that she didn't want to go back on drugs and that she would need to find a therapist. She also said there are too many stresses and it's making her recede. I responded with things like I'm here for you and that I know I can't fix or help specifically with the depression but can in other ways and that I want to be there for her.

It's hard. For a couple of weeks I've felt pretty neglected and distant from her but unsure of what it was. So, now I know..and am happy she communicated that to me (which I also expressed to her). But then, I asked myself, "now what?" I've never really known anyone going through something like this or acting this way, especially directly to me/affecting me like this. And we haven't even been together that long. So, I'm here. I'm not sure what to do.

Pushing aside my hurt, I acknowledge that she's hurting too. Since I don't know much about depression, I also recognize the importance of educating myself and trying to better understand the dynamics. I guess I'm here for support and answers, maybe an outlet to not feel so sad/hurt and confused...suggestions on how not take it so personally, I don't know...but I figured I'd better start sooner than later.

Thanks for listening. I'm glad this website exists. :)

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Hello alis1901 and welcome to DF,

Reading your post made me think about myself in terms of being distance from those who cared about me the most. Being depressed made me feel hopeless and an array of other things which resulted in suicidal ideations, sleeping a lot, letting my appearance go, and refusing to socialize with anyone, even my mom at times. Give some time to get herself together. You are being a great friend by being supportive and understanding.

We are glad to have you on board DF. You'll find a lot of information which I think will be helpful for you. Make yourself comfortable.


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I am in the same situation right now with my girlfriend and the circumstances are very similar. I wanted to tell you that if you need someone to talk to about it with please feel free to write me. Maybe we can be the rock each other needs right now. Hope your having a good week.. Keep your head up..

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