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Hey guys,

My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 3 years and we are the best of friends. One of the things that brings us together is our strong morals, one of them being we are strongly against drugs. However, his parents (mainly his father) has been using drugs for a rather long time. And I have begun to notice it. All the symptoms are there, and the smell is just disgusting. My partner and I are both 19 but he has young siblings too. His mother claims to love her kids completely and care for them, but I know she used to smoke it too, although I am not sure if she has given it up. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend feels like he can't even hold a decent conversation with his dad because he is always too high to talk to anyone. I don't know what to do. I am very against drugs of any kind, and normally I would tell the police, but the big family of 7 rely on his income. But I am scared and confused. He can get very violent, and he is also an alcoholic, and he sometimes drink drives. My boyfriend wishes there was something he could do (he has told his mother, but she just says "ohh" and walks off), and I feel like I can't do anything because I don't want to tear the family apart. Help?

Thankyou. Sorry it was so long.

Edited by Violet31
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Hi I_In_The_Lie,

Welcome to DF :welcomeani:

This is indeed a difficult problem and I really hope you will find a solution. I would contact Al-Anon or Narc-Anon for help and support. They should be able to tell you who to contact in confidence. There should also be Family Centers with experienced staff dealing with this kind of problems and you should be able to contact them anonymously. We have them in my country, but I´m not sure where you are.

All my best wishes to you. :)

Start with Al-Anon or Narc-Anon and

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Hello I_In_The_Lie and welcome to DF,

In addition to what Violet has shared, you can ask your boyfriend to see if there are relatives who may be able to organize an intervention for his father, if he will not get help for himself. The situation is a complex one and I wish the best for the family.

Its kind of you to seek out help on their behalf. I hope everything works out.


Edited by lindahurt
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Hi I_In_The_Lie,

This is a bit of a quandry. quandary My personal advice is not to get involved in reporting them as whatever happens after that is beyond your control. This could lead to all sorts of complication you never wanted or expected. One, the Police or social services are involved you can be sure they will take the children into care

Now that might be the best thing for them, but you may feel very very guilty and cause a real rift in the whole family and with your boyfriend I would totally agree with the others and get non-state intervention. If you are on good terms with some of his or her close relatives perhaps they might help out , in particular if you find a well respected and well liked person.

I know exactly what you mean in your post. It is a real difficult situation to deal with.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

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