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My Boyfriend Has Depression And I Dont Know What To Do Anymore

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About 5 years ago we found out that my boyfriend had clinical depression (this was back when he still had health insurance). He got prescribed pills that he never took- he has always been afraid to take pills because he read somewhere that it can cause you to become even more depressed. He basically is afraid of becoming so depressed he'd take his own life. He currently doesn't have any health insurance so even if he wanted to, he couldn't take medication for it.

I feel that his depression is getting worse. I try and help him but it seems that he has a problem with everything I do even though I try my best to sympathize with him to help him feel like I understand him on some level- which I do. All he wants to do is stay at home...which is all he does. The only times he actually goes out anymore is when he wants food. He was talking to me today about how he wishes he could just be alone with no one to bug him, a reference he's always made since I could remember. I honestly believe- based off of what he tells me, that he would be okay living in ***** by himself. He already stays in his room all day watching movies or surfing the internet.

He gets so irate with me that I feel discouraged and just feel like leaving the house because its tough being around him anymore. I really do not know what to do at this point. I feel like anything I do is always a problem with him. There have been many times that he's told me he feels that all I do is cause him more problems. It hurts to hear him say things like that to me because all I try to do is help. What can I do? I feel like I'm drowning in all this and he's out there slowly dying. I don't even know what I should ask...please help us.

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Hi anonym0us

It is really not easy to be in a relationship with someone who is suffering from depression. I am sorry that your boyfriend is really struggling at the moment. It sounds like he is wanting to isolate, which is a sign that his depression is worsening. I know that he has no insurance, but do you think you could get him to go to a free mental health clinic?

Just remember that none of this is your fault and that during this you need to take good care of yourself too. If you start to spiral then you will not be able to be there for him when he needs you. First and foremost, you must take care of you.

Here is a link to a topic that may help you:


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As being on the other side of this (I am a boy friend with depression) I can only tell you that it is important to encourage him to go out and do things other than stay in, in particular things he used to enjoy. Keeping in mind always that there is a time when you just have to accept that he is particular down and let him stay in. I know I frustrate my gf but we make it work, I know you can.

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