Gratitude - Mention At Least Three Things You

[moodyjuniper 711]

I only have two labs left. One of my lab partners has become annoying again. Not just annoying, but triggering. As @sober4life would say, I'm a monster magnet. I love the work, but I should have listened to my intuition early in the semester and moved to a different table. Nothing I've tried has worked on her. I guess I should have talked more about this. I clam up when I don't want something to be true, I think. I may never see her again, and she's at least a year and a half ahead in the program. We're not likely to have another class together. But now I know I need to turn off the empath even more. I already feel too spiky, but we do what we have to. At least I have this forum and therapy and a couple of friends with whom I can be real.

My client makes me feel like I'm going in the right direction. He and his family really trust me, and apparently, he's been a lot less depressed since I've been working with him. It feels really, really good. I'm fighting through a lot of triggers with him. I think it's been good for me to a point. Free exposure therapy. Last night was no exception. We talk about history a lot, and I look things up on the Internet. Last night, it was Joan of Arc. Something that happened with my ex. Another long day in the sun. I had heat exhaustion and couldn't escort him to a fireworks show that night, because I was nauseated and dizzy. So, I was Joan of Arc for a couple of weeks after that. That was actually during the better part of our relationship, when I was still completely delusional about my circumstances. Somehow he made me feel proud of myself for being able to endure so much hostility.

Love. 🙂 

 

Edited April 17 by moodyjuniper

[moodyjuniper 711]

I can manage a shift tonight in spite of the still-present pain because of where it is. Thankfully. My roommate springs reminders that my time here has an expiration date when I call in to work. Last night, it was particularly hurtful. Part physical pain, part depression. It just adds to the problem, but I understand why she does it. Bad mix for me right now. I can't let myself sink that low again today, even though I'm not done grieving. No time. I've told her what my plans are. That's all I can do. And apply to school programs in areas that have bus routes. I'd be better off. I have two major metro areas somewhat near me, and after visiting my cousin, might have another option, although it's out of state. Worst case scenerio, I just use my current training to find a better job and put off school. I'll be... unhappy... if I have to do that, but...

Beautiful morning.

Love. ❤️ 

 

 

Edited April 20 by moodyjuniper

[Soarsie18 1,515]

Grateful that my filter started working again, just a couple of minutes ago. I was worried I'd have to take my fish back to the shop, but now they have clean water and I can think of building up a fish community again. So happy, first ounce of good news for a while. 

[MaepleSyrup 1,092]

Let's see:

I'm grateful for my job because I love working with animals and it's a joy to see them find their forever homes.

I'm thankful for this forum- I've gotten a lot better since I joined, thanks to all the advice and help

I'm thankful for my wonderful and supportive family

And I'm thankful for all of my pets/foster pets because of the light they bring

[moodyjuniper 711]

I haven't ruminated about my lab partner in days. She's just a drop in the bucket. 🙂 

Work went well last night. I was able to sit quite a bit after the first few hours, so the pain didn't bother me so much. Less pain this morning, too.

I'm familiar with most of the people coming today for brunch.

I've decided to delay my application for the school program by one semester to give me more time to study for the entrance exam and work a lot to save money so I can move sooner. And apply to three more programs. One of them is bound to tolerate me. 🙂  I don't know why I get so nervous when I think about living on my own again. I did it before. I had a particularly good setup then, too, though, where I could walk pretty much anywhere and shopped with a friend on the rare occasion that I needed more than my legs and two groceries bags. Maybe it's PTSD. I also made more money then. That'll improve next year.

[Soarsie18 1,515]

Grateful that i’m still here. Living through another horrible empty day. But somehow, It’s still possible for me to get out of this rut. Whether I believe it or not. Logically there is still the chance that life can get better as long as I keep going

[BeyondWeary 2,309]

Meds are helping

My daughter and her family

The stronger faith I have

BW

 

[JD4010 15,302]

My boring bachelor life--minimal drama

As always, my hilarious cats.

My rusty old beater of a minivan.

Edited April 29 by JD4010

[Lostonesweeping 211]

My decent paying job.

My hope for a better future. I'm not sure how I still have this but it's here for now.

My wonderful cat.

[Rattler6 3,213]

Being healthier than average.  My collection of books.  A good home.  My vehicle. 

[MargotMontage 344]

The fact that I'm not starving, that I'm literate, and that I have a computer, (even if it's really old and tired).

[Rattler6 3,213]

Going back to work, having some rest, green tea.

[Rattler6 3,213]

Sleep, having the opportunity to be more social earlier, getting some hours at work last week. 

[AloneGuy 3,352]

Headache medicine.

New shoes (finally!).

Freshly washed clothes.

 

[evalynn 16,188]

The park was nearly empty earlier, and I took Etta on a decently long walk and she's been napping for hours, so now I can wait until the sun goes down for her next one.

My dad is working on building stairs for our backyard so that we can walk up the embankment instead of going around the block at night. He's also going to help us screen in our patio to make a Florida room once it gets a bit colder.

I was browsing ebooks on Amazon and a $5 credit for my next ebook just popped up. I mean, I deserve it as a longtime Prime member, but it was still a nice surprise. 🙂 

Edited June 7 by evalynn
typos

[evalynn 16,188]

Oh, and an old friend recently came back into my life.

[Rattler6 3,213]

Coffee, video games, books.

[bellerose 488]

I am grateful for my supports. 

I am grateful for my comforts.

I am grateful for my health. 

[Rattler6 3,213]

Courage.

Not being as constipated.

Some stability.

[nojoy 941]

I found depressionforums when I need people who understand 'my drama'

The children I work with who love and accept me uncondtionally

I have a job to pay the bills (even if it is just barely)

 

[Rattler6 3,213]

Good coworkers.

Doing a lot better than 2.5 years ago.

An honest boss.

[evalynn 16,188]

My dad made the steps for our backyard.

We got the grocery shopping done without running into heavy rain or exhaustion on my part. I didn't forget any ingredients for my Father's Day dishes.

I found a book I was looking for.

 

[BeyondWeary 2,309]

I got through the visit to my parents.

The good relationship I have with my daughter.

For being able to send and receive emails.

[evalynn 16,188]

Sleeping in today.

Yummy leftovers, no need to cook.

Hanging out with my husband when he got home from work.

[BeyondWeary 2,309]

a break from my negative co-worker

the weekend coming up where I don't have somewhere I have to go

this Forum