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Violet31

Gratitude - Mention At Least Three Things You

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13 minutes ago, JessiesMom said:

My son's Eagle scout project went a bit viral. The local paper and tv station did a story about it and we found out today that a national wire service picked up the story. The story appeared in more than half a dozen newspapers around the country and was covered on several radio programs. In addition, the mayor of St Paul mentioned him by name in his State of the City address. I think all that counts for at least three things.

Congrats, proud mama. 🙂 

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I got a 99 on my research paper! Yay! I missed a point because I forgot to include journal volume numbers in the reference section. Easy enough to fix on my presentation.

My grants came through for the summer.

Work is cracking down on people who are late all the time. Thank God. My father would swat me if I did that kind of thing.

The rain stopped.

 

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The moon was beautiful last night.

Work went really, really well yesterday. It usually does, but I met some good people. It makes me feel more hopeful.

As much as I complain about my roommates, I'm so lucky to be here. I know this, I just don't have anywhere else to put my frustration. 

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Having support systems. Family, friends, my therapy groups, my friends and fellow members here on DF. I'm so fortunate to have these pillars supporting me, to have you all in my life and I'm so very grateful. ❤️

MediCal. California has provided me with healthcare while I've been out of work else I couldn't afford to be healthy, and might have been another casualty of mental illness.

Silly mindless games on my phones. Whenever I need a distraction for worry or frustration it's at hand. 

 

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I barely knew my name this morning after working an overnight double, but I didn't have an accident on the way home, even though I was a space cadet.

I didn't take enough to eat last night. Who eats at 3 am? I was starving when I left work, so I ate a... greasy chicken biscuit. I didn't throw it up. 🙂 I won't eat anything that isn't crunchy and raw until dinner, but this is progress.

My pants are a bit looser. 

One exam is going to be dropped in one of my classes, and thank God, because this week, I'll need it. I've been rolling around in this funk way too much for the last two weeks to be able to concentrate enough. I need to learn this material anyway, but I'll have to review it later. It's kind of important for future classes.

 

 

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The birds are singing.

Instead of seeing something upsetting as catastrophic, that I'm permanently doomed, I now see them as tools to get better or to see how I'm really doing underneath my complaining or (sometimes) pretending everything's okay to get through the day. I still have work to do, part of which is simple: remove the jerks. I'm not done yet. I don't wear exhaustion well. 

My medical treatment is working, I think, although it's really painful right now.

I'm taking an extra class this fall, and I've saved enough for the fees and then some to cover it. It's a bit painful right now, but it'll pay for itself down the road. It seems like everything I do right now is for "tomorrow," whether tomorrow is next year or in three years. I need more time for fun with other people right now. Thankfully, I have the gym now. Speaking of which...

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We finished lab early last night, so I had extra time to work on assignments.

I feel really, really, really good about the direction I'm heading. After everything that happened, I'm finally able to do this for myself. I'm not wasting time doing things I don't want to do anymore, as much as possible, anyway. 

A fuzzy kitty greeted me when I got home last night.

There are a bajillion thrift stores in this area. 🙂

I made plans to do something in May that I've wanted to do since last summer. 🌷

 

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No wonder I was so upsettable last night. I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before and had been up since 5 am. An easy explanation with an easy solution.

My favorite kitty is loyal. ❤️

I've decided to have the surgery again. Maybe. I don't know. Ugh. I guess I haven't decided. I'm pretty sure my clients will understand that I have to sit down a lot right now.

I'm safe at home, for the most part. 

I found a video last night that I took of my first view ever of the Pacific ocean.

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I'm done with all of my unit 3 exams. One more exam left in each class. 

I haven't thrown up in three days. When I recovered from bulimia before, I pretended like I had a child with me at all times. If I didn't want the child to see it, I didn't do it. I'm trying that again. Who says imaginary friends are only for kids? 🙂 

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I can shut out the drama by staying in my room.

I have a therapist and group therapy. I'm not a receptacle for other people's problems everywhere, even though it sometimes feels like it. It seems like my roommate saves up all kinds of stuff to toss at me when I wake up in the morning. Reminds me of someone else I know...

Going with the theme this morning... I won't be able to restore my dignity after what happened to me by staying around people who try to pull my pants down in public. I was starting to wonder if I'd ever feel strong enough to leave here, but now I know will. I'm not sure I should ever live alone again, though.

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