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whatchagonnado

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Onmyown. I'm glad you have not lost all faith. A child in college is a pretty great source of pride. I have two adult children. My daughter (married) and 2 baby girls. and a son (married) that won't speak to us for some reason. It appears we have offended his wife, my daughter in law. It all started with "don't phone me so often, we have our own life". Evidently it's impossible to keep them happy. Now "we don't care". While he thinks we don't love him, I know better. At least my daughter accepts our love. I hope you both get along well.

The worst part of this whole mess is watching my wife suffer from the rejection of our baby. I may be hurt, disappointed, sad, whatever but my wife is deeply hurt. I keep trying to keep her positive but it's not really working. We live in a crazy world.

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Hi, everyone. Glad to see you, wish we were all doing a little better. Rosegirl, all you can do is your best one day at a time, right? I'm praying for all of us to have the strength to get through what we have to get through.

I don't have any crises at the moment, thank goodness. Just plugging along, trying to walk a straight line, to keep moving forward even if it's only inches at a time. I am also trying so hard to find gratitude instead of dwelling on the things that I am lacking. CrazyGuy, you are right: it's a crazy world where families can't be loving and people can't get the care they need, and others feel such despair.

I don't have much to say, just wanted to check in. Take care, everyone.

M of P

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I just can't get going today. Well, most days :biglaugh: Going to cook rice and veggies. After I've finished cleaning the bathroom, mopping the floors ... :rock: and procrastinating online :cheesy:

LonelyHiker I feel you. I can see my future in all the lonely elderly people with few resources and nobody to care. I think is it worth going on as things can only get worse as I age unless I win the lottery :whistling: .

T on C and onmyown, the welfare and health system over there always sounds like it sucks. I wish you well.

Cheers to all.

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Thanks for your concern, Crazyguy and M of P! It's so good that we have this room «to talk» to each other. I woke up early, ate something, and went to sleep again. Woke up again hours later and am now having my breakfast while the dishwasher is working (I seldom use it, so I can save that money on the electricity bill, but it's good to have it for «emergency» situations). Glad there is nothing «special» with your life at the moment M of P!

I will go out with the trash and then force myself to go to the grocery. There is no more bread in the house. I feel calm but sad. I think you are so right when you are talking about families, Crazyguy. Sorry to hear about how your son has treated you. They say that daughters are for ever and sons are only for ever if the daughter in law wishes it so. Things have changed in the last 20 years or so. I see part of my family regularly, but they have too much to do (work, house, garden, kids) to come and help me with what needs to be done here. I, on the other side, have too little energy to keep my home the way I used too. It looks like a bomb has fallen down here. It really costs me something to look away and concentrate at one part of the home at the time! But there is nothing else I can do, walk forward in a slow path. I prayed yesterday, before I went to bed, that God will give me the strength to go on with this.

Onmyown, sorry to hear about your situation! I will pray for you!

Everybody else, please keep going!

I will come back later his day to tell how I'm doing. It helps to know that you are out there and that I can «talk to you»!

Best wishes to everybody!

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Rosegirl, I always try to check in, even from my iPhone but sometimes replying from my phone is tough. By the time I get half done typing I forgot what the topic was. LOL It's not really that bad, just slow. ALSO, I have heard that phrase daughter are forever.... It's true in my case. She was a bridezilla so we should have seen it coming. Crying at the church because the priest would not do it her way. The priest was a bit of a jerk though. My son, not dancing with his mother (my wife). They were just going to dance and bridezilla called him away. My wife was devastated and in tears. She has put this all behind her and the "happy couple" find every opportunity to exclude us. My son told me to not phone so much, and now we are accused of not being there for them. All I can say is what the eff? hope that is not offensive :) Apparently they are spending Easter with her family that actually cares for them. Good Times!

Edited by crazyguy

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Just checking in, I'll be at my new place tomorrow-the stay there is a brief 3 months since I qualified for sec 8 housing I'll be moving into a huge renovated Victorian built back in the 1880's that's been sectioned off into six or eight? 1 bedroom apartments. I hope to meet with a lawyer in the upcoming weeks for the appeal process and from what I've heard the SSI/SSDI denials are pretty much the norm the first go around. So I'll go through the motions but believe me it's nice being off the streets. I hope everyone is hanging in there, keep on keeping on...

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I got some sunshine today, sort of, while putting in over 2 hours of driving. Meeting ran to 4 hours so I'm in physical agony that haven't found anything that works for it yet---jaw pain. Discovered my tires are bald and my brakes are worn and I have to drive back tomorrow for volunteer work. I'm really trying to find things to be positive about with all the brick walls and slamming doors I'm hitting. I guess it's good that I'm not on narcotic pain pills right now because of law change and doctor change, since I don't know how long I'll have insurance. They didn't work for the jaw/neck pain anyhow. Oh, I'm not as shaky on my AD now, it's still there but not so apparent to others. The spring flowers are blooming.

T on C, most excellent!

Perundah, yes, the systems stink. Social Security does too. I paid in for 15 years but since I haven't been able to work in the past 10 I get nothing because my work credits expired.

I hurt too much right now to try to read more.

Best wishes to everyone!

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Hi, all.

Good news fromT on C, you have a great attitude, and I am trying to be as upbeat as you often are. Rosegirl, I know about the "bomb hit the house" thing, mine is the same except with dog doo. Sometimes, it's all I can do just to clean up the daily mess, but nothing else gets done. My kitchen sink is full of dishes, the refrigerator is empty and the cupboard is bare. I haven't eaten a meal in days, but don't have the energy or the motivation to do anything about it except scrounge around for stray granola bars. I probably need to do something differently, I seem to be declining, but what is there to do?

Tonight, I had my last session with one of my students, and after 8 weeks, he did worse on the post-test than he did on the pre-test. Not only did I not help him, I seem to have actually decreased his knowlege. I am devastated, mired in self-doubt and self-hatred, and can't seem to shake it off. I told my husband, as I came in the door, that if I'd had (the means) I would do something (permanent). What kind of messed up thinking is that, and why is that the first thing I think of when faced with a crisis or a failure? I am ashamed of myself, and my weakness, and wish I could just sleep away my defective thinking. His advice to me, by the way, was actually helpful and germane: even if the student did not improve, the desire and the struggle to learn is worth something. So, yes, if I think that way then my struggle to teach is worth something, and my struggle to live a better life is worth something, even if I don't always experience success. Easy to say, not so easy to do.

Thank you all so much for listening, for being here, for sharing your lives with me, and for letting me share mine with you. I am extremely grateful. May we all be strong. M of P

Edited by MommyofPrecious

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I was able to eat three meals yesterday (burgers for dinner), to pay my bills and to relax with a DVD in the evening (I thought I was worth a relax-time since it was Saturday evening). I still feel that there is a danger for a nervous breakdown, but it helped a bit to be able to do something, to have some kind of a start.

To day I feel tired and I will try to relax as much as possible. That's allowed since it's Sunday.

Crazyguy, let us hope that your son will wake up one day and show his mother that he appreciate her (and his father too). Some use such a long time to grow up and to understand that they are not the only persons in this world.

T on C, Congrats! :flowers:

Onmyown, do your pain in jaw and neck have a name (I mean is it categorized in a diagnostic manual)? I ask because if it isn't there may be hope. My neck was almost stiff because of all the problems I have to carry. I have become much better after physio. Have you tried that for your pain? Please pardon me if you have tried everything! I only want to help in case there is something that might be done.

MommyofPrecious, I'm so glad that we have «the bombed home» in common. It's really hard to only be able to «de-clutter» just a tiny bit a day. I get a bit concerned about your health when you don't eat (I have my meal-free days, so I have nothing I should have said). You might collapse if this goes on for a long period, so please try to make three meals a day!! I agree with your husband about the student. Keep going!

Perundah, Oh, yes, it's not so easy to try to get help by the bureaucrats!

A good day to all!

Best wishes to everyone!

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I´m joining this excellent club. Nice to meet all of you. :)

I´m working very hard this weekend, both on projects for the TV-station and the cinema, but doing my best to get enough rest. I´m still not strong enough to go swimming, but I´m taking one day at a time, slowly building up strength. Hoping you´re all feeling good and enjoying the weekend.

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Rosegirl, thanks for the thought. The pain is because I need dental work to replace teeth and my jaw has no set place to park right now---it keeps shifting. My dental work was supposed to start this month because we'd be able to get a loan, but now, I don't even have money for copays for regular doc and regular bills so just gotta deal until who knows when.

I'm taking the day off today, with the rain and all the driving and sitting I've done this week I'm just not up for another long drive. I think one of my new meds is causing fatigue now because I'm not wide awake after ambien and have gone back to sleeping much of the day if I can---not really by choice but by body crashing. Rainy days are good nap days though. :) Yeah, that's it. Rainy day. Gotta nap. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. :P

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Hi, 40+ people. Welcome, Violet31, glad you're here.

Rosegirl, thanks for your concern. I actually ate dinner today, and almost feel human. I agree that we need to take better care of ourselves, and I hope we both manage a little better. Kudos for you for the 3 squares, and taking some time to relax. Sunday is my time to do that, as well, and I really needed a down day. I hope you are out of the n.b. danger zone soon, I'm pulling for you.

I am feeling better, emotionally, though that may be due to an abatement of my migraine. I just want to get through the week, but am deliberately not thinking about it until tomorrow.

I hope everyone survived this weekend, and my hopes and prayers for a good week for us all. Take care, M of P

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It's Monday today and if feels like it. The weather is windy cold and rainy. It's -1C so guess what, the rain is freezing. My radio antenna on my car was covered with 1cm of ice when I got home.

Yesterday we had a long talk with son and daughter in law. That caused a sleepless night for me. We know where we stand with them now, that should help. They are having a hard time and they feel we don't care. Of course we do care but it must be an age / generation gap. They are getting counselling so I hope we can get back on track. They still have bad feelings about stuff that happened 2 years ago, it's hard to remember the dumb things I may have said that far back, luckily for me they are mad at my wife too. That's not going so well for my wife as she (or I) did nothing intentional. Sometimes it hard to keep everyone happy and maintain your sanity. For me it's too late, and for my dear wife the anxiety is building to unbearable levels. She's seeing a therapist on Thursday. It's disturbing how fast things can deteriorate and result in anxiety and mental illness.

:shocked:

Ok I said it, mental illness. The stigma in our society over mental health sucks, and the medical care our society provides is woefully inadequate. How can you tell I'm having a less than stellar day? I'm going to sit in front of the fireplace and read some "hunger games" If you read this post thanks for listening to me rant. I feel like an ***** saying all this here but I feel better already. Thanks again. :hearthrob:

One last thing, did you guys ever notice the little triangle in the bottom right corner of the window where you type posts, I finally figured out that you can drag the input box to make it larger. I'm on a "mac" so if you use "Windows" I can't say if it's in the same spot. It took me 209 posts to clue in. Mid 50's and getting smarter! Yippee!

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Rosegirl - I hope you're feeling better, sorry I didn't catch that sooner :-)

MoP - Please please please don't beat yourself up about your student's performance! I'm sure you did a superlative job of teaching, but ultimately it is up to the student to flex the brain, and absorb and process the material satisfactorily. Give yourself credit for the hard work, time and effort you put into to trying to help these kids!

Hope everyone is doing ok today.

Peace,

Tim

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Thanks, LonelyHiker, I am trying to not be too down on myself. How are things with you?

CrazyGuy, having kids is a life sentence sometimes. I'm glad to hear that you are weathering the storm, sorry that your wife is suffering so much. It's not my place to say, but I'll do it anyway: if only I could see my daughter one more time, I would endure a thousand nervous breakdowns. I am not trying to minimize your suffering, and I know it's real. Just know that your son's happiness is out of your hands right now. He is choosing the path he is on, and you have given him all of your love and can give no more. Your family will heal, but in the meantime it's so important to take care of yourselves and leave the children to work things out.

I am in that weird, post-migraine zone when the pain is gone but you still feel wonky. Think I'll turn in early today just to finish recovering.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

M of P

Edited by MommyofPrecious

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Thanks M of P. Hope you are feeling better and the migraines leave you alone. I can't imagine how painful a migraine is, I do know they are really bad though. I am fortunate to have never had the experience. Look after yourself, Take care.

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I never slept 2 nights ago and last night I took the full dose of zopiclone and slept great. At 6 am I made my wife breakfast and sent her off to work, then I wen back to bed and slept until noon. I don't get it. Now I'm way behind on my work and sitting here trying to figure out what's happening.

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I had a followup Doctor appointment today and surprise surprise my testosterone is below "low" (while on replacement therapy). No wonder I feel so underwhelmed. All you ladies with menopause i feel your pain. I try not to post on here when I feel in the dumps but today I can't help myself. When the doctor told me my testosterone was in the toilet he's lucky I didn't cry. I've been exercising, eating healthy (even lost weight ) and been taking hormone treatment too. I got a month of new T (gel) and I'll see if I can get my T up. It's unbelievable what hormones can do to your mind. I'm bummed out in no mans land :(

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I am in that weird, post-migraine zone when the pain is gone but you still feel wonky. Think I'll turn in early today just to finish recovering.

I used to have migraines, M of P. It started when I was a teenager and went on for 17 years. I went to a Chinese doctor who used Acapuncture and after 20 sessions, it went away. It was weird, I woke up one day and felt different. The migraines were gone.

((((crazyguy))))

I know what you´re going through. I have had PMS all my life and every month I have to use everything I´ve learned in yoga, CBT and anger management to cope. Use the gel and give it a month, I hope things will get better. :hugs:

I´ve been feeling good today, gave a good dinnerparty yesterday and we all watched an interesting movie. It was warm enough to light candles on my garden, so I had lots of little lanterns out there in the evening. I like dark evenings, but soon the evenings will be brights so I use the darkness as I possibly can.

I hope all of you are feeling good. :hugs:

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Hi everyone,

Jumping cursor made me lose the post I had already typed for here. Hopefully I can get this one posted.

My internet provider was down last night. My computer has been run about 24/7 for 4 or so years so it's not real happy right now. I'm trying to nurse it along to last another year at least or I lose my connection with the outside world and any tv or movies.

Anyways, I figure I see some of your names on the other threads I participate in so this might be a good place to leave this note. If you don't see me for a while, know that I'm doing as ok as I can getting through what I've got to. It'll just be technology issues keeping me away.

Best wishes to everyone.

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Hi 40+ crowd, hope everyone is doing well. Things are looking better for me lately, for which I'm very grateful. Many thanks to all of you for the support, or for just plain "being here" :-)

I'm off to bed, so apologies for being a bit lazy and not addressing each of you individually ;-)

Peace,

Tim

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Hi, guys. I'm all alone, having a cup of herbal tea and enjoying the solitude. The migraine is gone, thank goodness, and thanks for the tip on acupuncture, Violet31. I've had them since I was 16, and have tried EVERYTHING except acupuncture - needles, shudder. Now, I just feel like they are a part of me. I am glad that it worked for you, though. (it must be very beautiful in Iceland now, yes?)

CrazyGuy, so sorry to hear you are having this problem! I will hope for a quick and positive result - hormones really do wreck people sometimes.

OnMyOwn, hope the computer hangs in there and keeps you connected. We need you as much as you might need us. Take care.

LonelyHiker, hooray for early nights! I've been going to bed earlier, and have actually had a couple of pretty good days. Too soon to make a connection?

To everyone I'm missing: T on C, Rosegirl, Meirionne, Perundah, and all the 40+ers, miss you and sending my best wishes.

M of P

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M of P I have tried acupuncture and it's not so bad. You can keep your eyes closed and not even see the needles. It is a bit freaky but it helped my pain. Chinese have used it for years and I'm open to anything that has any track record... I don't mean needle tracks lol I agree it is not an appealing thought.

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