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Obsessing Over Celebrities To Fill Loneliness?


hopepeacelove

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hi.. this is my first post and i honestly dont know if its in the right place or what not but here goes.. bit about me: im female and 18, my dad died when i was 4.5 and i started having full blown panic attacks from age 7. ive been diagnosed with panic disorder and also separation disorder due to me not wanting to leave my mom whatsoever for fears that something would happen to her just like it did to my dad. i dont have many friends AT ALL and i dont go out.. hardly ever unless its with family. anyway, my main reason for this post was because something imparticular is causing me anxiety lately and i wanted to know if anybody else had felt the same.. i keep getting obsessed with different celebrities. its been happening for years, something makes me admire them and then suddenly i watch all of their interviews, listen to their music, watch their shows excessively etc. its never in a romantic way and never sexual and its always someone who i have discovered has been through hardships. its usually always women as well, whilst looking for reasoning for this i think ive found it. i crave a friendship.. someone that loves me that i can go to with anything, cry on their shoulder, go out and have fun with.. just like teenage girls are usually like with their girly pals. do you think this could be why i obsess over female celebrities? i always try to get the certain persons attention through social networks, fansites and all that but i truely think it is just because i feel like they could be my friend. does this make sense? my heart races when i see them or they tweet or whatever but i also think this is because i feel like i can get to know them more, is this normal too? sorry for the essay.. i just feel so alone. thank you :) i look forward to using this site more as i am so fed up of feeling isolated! xx

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Welcome to the board- I am fairly new myself. You post does make sense, I mean it's hard for a celebrity to reject you unless you were in the circumstance of actually meeting the person. Even then, since it's part of their job as a celebrity, they most likely would be pretty nice to you. That's why it's easy to substitute having close friends with being very into famous people- it's safe, there is nearly endless information about them out there, and with tweeting and facebook and all, they feel almost accessible to you. It's safe because they won't disappoint you, but they also won't be able to get together with you in real life. If you were to ask yourself what you want in a true friend, would you say you get any of that from a celebrity? If your celebrity focuses are always around someone who has been through hardships like you, then it sounds like you want a friend who can empathize with your personal history and experiences. It's not easy to find that in someone in our everyday lives right off the bat, people don't generally share information like that when they first meet. Do you go to school or work? As far as being thrilled when you see a new post, that seems like positive reinforcement for you-- that the person you are trying to reach out to is in fact real and might address you directly sometime. That's like anyone else getting a message on facebook or a new text message. We all get excited, someone is getting in touch with us. That connection is simple, but also very powerful.

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I think you have found your own answers to the questions you've been asking to yourself. I think you should try to get real life friends. Are there any organisations that helps people with mental health issues where you live? If yes, I am sure that you can meet other people just like you who have gone through traumatic events in their lives and with whom you can share things. I also think you should see a therapist to help you heal from your loss.

Good luck.

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I have the same thing, only I have fixations on certain male celebrities. Like how your lonely for friendship, I'm lonely for a boyfriend. Luckily, I'm starting to fixate more on my real life and less on an imaginitive one, which I think is helpful for you to do as well. I recommend that you stop focusing on the celebrity, and focus more on someone in real life that you could reach out to and try to build a friendship with. The more you live with the idea of having that celebrity as a friend, the less open you'll be to finding someone around you to become friends with.

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