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AquaViolet

For Me, Talk Therapy Seems Like A Waste Of Time.

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I have both a psychiatrist and a therapist. I love my psychiatrist, but my therapist bugs me and I don't think she knows how to help me. For me, medications have made all the difference in treating my mental illnesses. Talk therapy has been pretty useless for me. When my therapist wants me to talk about my intrusive thoughts I won't do it. Those thoughts are too upsetting. And her even bringing up the subject makes my anxiety and OCD worse.

She also wanted me to do exposure and response therapy, but I know that doesn't work for me. I've seen other therapists. If I get rid of one worry, or obsession, or compulsive ritual, it is immediately replaced by another worry, obsession, or compulsion. My brain is constantly manufacturing new worries.

Anyway, this therapist I am now seeing is retiring at the end of this year so I'll have a new therapist. My psychiatrist wants me in therapy so I have to go. It just seems so pointless. My medications are what help me.

After a therapy session, I always feel worse than before I went. My therapist says things that trigger my panic and OCD. It is not helpful.

My psychiatrist, on the other hand, is wonderful. She figured out the right medications for me, and she's been there for me in some very tough times. I hope she sticks around.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

Edited by AquaViolet

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Well, I think I understand what you mean, I have felt that way. I am in my 40's and have had depression for a very long time, probably started when I was about 12, I do believe. But, back then, meds were not very widely used.

I suffered through my teens and twenties without meds, even though it would have been pretty obvious to any therapist that I needed them. I didn't get the meds until I was about 33 years old.

The primary source of help in those days was therapy. I had therapy on and off through the years. I would say most of the therapists I saw were not helpful. I saw maybe 5 or 6 different ones. They really did not help me, in fact one of them was pretty darn awful and spent most of the session talking about herself! There was one therapist that I do believe really did help me, and she was the one who finally suggested meds. She was also a good fit for me and good to talk to.

But I know what you mean, a lot of times therapy would leave me feeling angrier and more depressed than before I walked in.

My pdoc has suggested therapy for me now, again. That's because it seems that pdoc's role has changed from a person to talk to, to someone who listens a little and prescribes meds.

So I just started therapy, and my first session, it was an older man, and he seemed nice and all but he did say some things that irritated me. I guess I would rather have someone to listen rather than someone who tells 5 things I need to do. right now I'm having trouble even doing one thing I need to do on a daily basis.

If the therapist bugs you that much, maybe its a sign that it's not a good fit. I know in the past I've had trouble breaking off the therapist relationship, but if its really bugging you that's a sign something is just not right. It shouldn't feel that way.

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Also just wanted to say, if you love your pdoc and she is understanding, explain to her exactly what you just explained here.

I think sometimes that the meds do help better than rehashing all that negative stuff.

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I am, perhaps, responding out of turn, as I have never been on meds and only tried therapy for about three months. I did, however, find it pointless. Not once did she tell me anything I didn't already know and hadn't already figured out. I know myself pretty well and my... triggers, for lack of a better term, are not particularly complicated. (sometimes tangential to an extreme, but always tied back to the same things). And I liked her just fine; had I been someone less in-tune with the inner workings of my skull she'd probably have done me a world of good.

I am me, though, and I already have people that I hash things out with. People that know what "normal" looks like, and people that recognize (at points in time that I can't) that I'm stuck in loops and it's time to break them. If my moods spike out and stay there like they did when I first sought therapy I'll give it another shot, if for nothing else as a referral to someone with a prescription pad.

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I have seen many different therapists over the last 6 yrs and I am actually worse then before. and i haven't found a med combo that helps much either. sucks and seems hopeless, so I have given up and am trying to exept this is how I am going to feel/be until the day I die(naturally or by self-inflicted death)

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I agree with OnMeds...this might be an indication that it's not a good fit.

Last year, I had a therapist who was trained in CBT. She refused to do talk therapy. I found her methods to be overly aggressive, hostile, and disrespectful. She seemed to be intent on triggering my anxiety/depression even further.

I might be in the minority but I actually prefer traditional talk therapy. I seem to benefit more from it, while others respond better to other types of therapy. It was not a good fit and I felt that it was in my best interest to disengage from the whole situation before my psyche was damaged even more by an abusive therapist. I know what my triggers are and I've learned to avoid or at least deflect potentially hurtful situations. When my therapist acted inappropriately and refused to adjust her behavior to create a safe environment, I knew it was time to move on.

She just wanted to push medication at me. She had no real desire to help me and it showed in her attitude. I would often leave her office feeling worse, similar to what OnMeds described.

Sometimes you have to take care of you. Do what's right for AquaViolet. Your pdoc sounds great. Have you told your therapist how you feel when she says things that trigger you? I also agree that you should probably tell your psychiatrist what you told us. Maybe she can help you work something out.

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I have seen many different therapists over the last 6 yrs and I am actually worse then before. and i haven't found a med combo that helps much either. sucks and seems hopeless, so I have given up and am trying to exept this is how I am going to feel/be until the day I die(naturally or by self-inflicted death)

PeachesMary,

Please don't give up! who knows, it may be something simple that you have just not stumbled upon yet! There are other alternatives to meds and therapy!

Just some suggestions: - SUPPORT GROUP - Maybe this would be more helpful than one on one therapy for you. A big part of depression is feeling alone and like you are the only one.

- Amino Acids - these are readily available in vitamin stores and I've read so much about them, that they are the precursors to healthy chemical brain functioning

-A sport or hobby - helps you focus on something other than your thoughts, is good for your body, and helps you meet others (kyaking, woodworking, quilting?)

(gosh there's a million things at all levels of physical ability, even just walking, try to find a group ((try Meetup on internet)

I'm a woman and I tried woodworking in a shop. Why not? i made a beautiful box, I learned a bit about the craft. I think trying something really different

than what a woman would normally do can really open your mind to possibilities of life.

I just hate to hear someone say they give up. Please don't! There is only one you and there will only ever be one you!

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...

If the therapist bugs you that much, maybe its a sign that it's not a good fit. I know in the past I've had trouble breaking off the therapist relationship, but if its really bugging you that's a sign something is just not right. It shouldn't feel that way.

I agree strongly with OnMeds - the relationship with the therapist isn't necessarily comfortable all the time, but it shouldn't be irritating or threatening. For therapy to work, there has to be a trusting relationship between therapist and client, and sometimes the therapist's personality or style gets in the way of that. It took me six months and four tries to find the guy that I work with now, but I'm very glad I didn't give up the search.

In the short term, you might think about discussing this with the therapist: "I'm really uncomfortable with some of the things that you do, and I'd like to get them straightened out before we go forward." A good therapist will be very ready to take a break to set the relationship straight: if he/she is dismissive or resistant, it's a real sign (in my opinion) that they're not the right one for you.

Best of luck, and let us know how this works out.

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I have seen many different therapists over the last 6 yrs and I am actually worse then before. and i haven't found a med combo that helps much either. sucks and seems hopeless, so I have given up and am trying to exept this is how I am going to feel/be until the day I die(naturally or by self-inflicted death)

i couldn't agree with you any more.

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I have tried most of those suggestions and they haven't helped at all. I wish something would help but it hasn't

I think I might stop going to therapy.......mEds dont work for me...nether does therapy......I think I need to accept my depression and stop trying to find a way to help myself.

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I also have both a therapist and a psychiatrist, but my experience is the complete opposite. I love my therapist, but I always feel weird talking to my psychiatrist. The idea of a person who does't really know me and my story but tries to prescribe me something makes me feel really strange.

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Bumping this because I don't feel like seeing my therapist today. I know therapy can be ultra helpful for different people in different situations, but for me, it's basically just a waste of time.

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On 4/11/2019 at 11:18 PM, standup said:

Bumping this because I don't feel like seeing my therapist today. I know therapy can be ultra helpful for different people in different situations, but for me, it's basically just a waste of time.

Some day it might feel like a waste of time for me because it is so difficult that you want to avoid it. But I have been fortunate enough to have stumbled onto one who had helped me find my voice in therapy. I am not a "talker" and she described me as being relatively "non-verbal". But she never gave up trying different methods to see what worked for us. She was trained in art therapy and for the first time, it felt like I could safely "speak" through her through the use of my art work. So, I am just wondering if it is a case of finding someone or a modality that would help you based on your needs? Just a thought because for the longest time, it felt like I was getting nowhere somedays as I tried to work through my trauma🙂

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