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Anxiety At An All Time High


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I'm not sure why but my anxiety is at an all time high today. I didn't sleep well last night, had to take the kids to school/daycare, drop the car off at the shop, and just sat down. I hate having to pretend with everyone that I feel fine. They ask me and I am able to put a smile on my face and say just fine, but its all a facade. Inside it I am trembling and ready to explode. Previously when I suffered from this, sleep was an escape, and not being able to sleep is really messing with me. My meds haven't kicked in yet, I went to the Dr yesterday and he upped my dose but it will be another week of hell before I hope to see any relief. Work is incredibly difficult - I am faking my way through it, my therapist said that was ok but I still have lots to do it I can only fake it so much. I am also going on a work trip next week - a couple of days out of town. That will be interesting, a lot of alone time which i detest right now but I will get to interact with some others which will be good and see an old friend.

I think I will use this as my kind of diary - I need to write down my thoughts and share them - it helps a little to organize my thoughts this way.

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Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling such extreme anxiety and are in the "waiting" phase of medication. I hope it kicks in soon for you. I think having a diary is a great idea. You can definitely use this thread to express your feelings and detail what is going on with you. I was going to suggest writing a list and prioritizing things. That can help you not to be overwhelmed.

I hope you have a good trip next week and get to relax some and spend some quality time with friends.

:hugs:

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I'm not sure why but my anxiety is at an all time high today. I didn't sleep well last night, had to take the kids to school/daycare, drop the car off at the shop, and just sat down. I hate having to pretend with everyone that I feel fine. They ask me and I am able to put a smile on my face and say just fine, but its all a facade. Inside it I am trembling and ready to explode. Previously when I suffered from this, sleep was an escape, and not being able to sleep is really messing with me. My meds haven't kicked in yet, I went to the Dr yesterday and he upped my dose but it will be another week of hell before I hope to see any relief. Work is incredibly difficult - I am faking my way through it, my therapist said that was ok but I still have lots to do it I can only fake it so much. I am also going on a work trip next week - a couple of days out of town. That will be interesting, a lot of alone time which i detest right now but I will get to interact with some others which will be good and see an old friend.

I think I will use this as my kind of diary - I need to write down my thoughts and share them - it helps a little to organize my thoughts this way.

Just wondering when & how your anxiety & sleep problems developed. Was this postpartum anxiety? That is what I had and although my daughter will be 3 next week, I am still dealing with it! I got better on Zoloft but have tried to get off twice & had setbacks both times. I"m on Lexapro now & I can really relate to wanting desperately for it to kick in and not knowing how long that will take. I'm suffering right there with you.

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Stupid computer, my mouse pad is so sensitive it posts before I'm ready! I hate the waiting to see if meds work. I too suffer from severe anxiety and PTSD (near fatal Leginnaire's, memories of dreams during 5 days in a coma, dialysis, having to inject myself in the stomach twice a day for 10 days after developing a blood clot, etc.) and major depression. I'm trying a bunch of supplements I read about on line (L-theanine, L-tryptophan) because I can't sleep either. Writing things down helps some. On top of posting here, I started a "book" on a survivor's point of view on Legionnaires and all the stuff I went through and am still going through. I find myself going back and adding paragraphs about my abusive marriage 20 years ago and it's turning more into a journal than a story about Legionnaire's as I first intended but it helps to vent. It's not like it will ever get published or hit the best seller's list anyway!

Hang in there. Hopefully seeing your old friend will help. Other than my 11-year-old son and seeing my dad on weekends, I'm pretty isolated here. I'm on disability due to the Legionnaire's and short term memory loss from loss of oxygen to my brain and neurological pain and problems it left behind. That was 3 years ago. The PTSD and depression/anxiety just kicked in in full force about a year ago. For a while I didn't even touch my computer other than to force myself to go online and pay bills but now I pick it up daily and check my emails and the DF for any new insight just in case someone came up with a cure for depression overnight that I need to know about! ;)

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I have an anxiety order and cant leave the house the last 2 months. I pretty much cant do anything except feel fear.

So at least be happy you can go out of the house and to work :)

Not to ridicule your fear or problems;..i can imagine they are big. But just to tell you what you still got

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