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Sometimes I get these feelings or "bursts" of feelings that are crippling. I call them "Waves" because they are just that, and they only last a few seconds. But they are awful. I guess its anxiety attacks... I really don't know. I don't have a clue what is causing them (i'm keeping a journal with times they occur and what i was doing, thinking when they occurred). It's almost like a wave of nausea or dizzyness in that it takes over me, stops me in my tracks. I cant even explain the feeling. Its kind of like dread & fear washing over me. Then its gone.

Lately, in addition to the bad waves of it, I've been having less intense periods of the same feeling, but it sticks around for a while. Right now, I am feeling it. I just did NOT know what to do or how to cope with this so the only thing i could think of was to get on here and just try to write about it, maybe understand it a little more. Most importantly, I want to know how to deal with it!!! I am taking Buspar (not helping that I can tell). What I really want is some xanax right now. thats the only thing i can imagine helping me at this point. But because of my addiction potential, benzos aren't really an option. Plus, they would make me more sleepy than i already am. So, what can I do???? I am freaking out! I cannot STAND to feel this way.

I'm trying to stay away from any "mood altering" substances, but honestly i would like to have a couple drinks to mellow a little bit!!! I don't like alcohol, hardly ever drink... but it does relax me and I need to relax b/c i am a tightly wound spring right now and i feel like i am going to explode!!!!!!!!

I need help. Does anybody have any suggestions for coping skills to handle anxiety attacks? What does everyone else do at a time like this? :shocked::mad1::cry::coophelp::help:

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There are many meds which help anxiety attacks. Drinking is not advisable as a suitable medication. It may work but it does more harm.

Even Zanax is food for thought. You have to see a Dr. to get a script.

Xanax (Alprazolam)

Alprazolam is used to treat anxiety disorders and panic disorder (sudden, unexpected attacks of extreme fear and worry about these attacks). Alprazolam is in a class of medications called benzodiazepines. It works by decreasing abnormal excitement in the brain. Alprazolam comes as a tablet, an extended-release ...

Edited by DustyRoad
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Hi 1000milejourney,

I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety, I know how difficult it can be. Have you talked to your doctor about adjusting the Buspar? I have not taken this medication, but I have heard good things. I struggled with anxiety and severe panic attacks for quite a while, and coped with alcohol, which led to even more problems. It is easy to seek a chemical cure when medications are not working, but I admire your strength and self-awareness regarding what you are and are not able to do. Benzodiazepines are extremely helpful, but you are right that they have abuse and dependence potential. Are you involved in therapy? I find cognitive behavioral therapy extremely helpful in teaching me ways to control my anxiety. Breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, and even biofeedback could help you. Panic attacks often seem random and out of the blue, but the brain has actually conditioned or trained itself to fear certain situations. Once a fear is hard-wired, whenever a similar situation presents itself, our brains go into fight-or-flight, with or without our approval, which leads to the panic attack. We literally have to retrain ourselves to respond to these situations differently; therapy can speed up this process. I implore you to talk to your doctor about your symptoms, and consider therapy. Anxiety is difficult, but you do not have to compromise with it.

I wish you the very best of luck. Be sure to keep us posted.

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There are many meds which help anxiety attacks. Drinking is not advisable as a suitable medication. It may work but it does more harm.

Even Zanax is food for thought. You have to see a Dr. to get a script.

Xanax (Alprazolam)

Alprazolam is used to treat anxiety disorders and panic disorder (sudden, unexpected attacks of extreme fear and worry about these attacks). Alprazolam is in a class of medications called benzodiazepines. It works by decreasing abnormal excitement in the brain. Alprazolam comes as a tablet, an extended-release ...

Yeah, I do think alprazolam or another benzo would be excellent in treating the anxiety... but I can't take it because of being on methadone (the clinic tests for benzos once a month in the regular drug screen). Especially if I switch from methadone to suboxone (also used to treat opiate addiction), benzos taken with that can be fatal because it adds to the CNS depression/suppression(?). But I am going to have to find something. When I am experiencing an attack I get so desperate for relief... it scares me that I may relapse.

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Hi 1000milejourney,

I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety, I know how difficult it can be. Have you talked to your doctor about adjusting the Buspar? I have not taken this medication, but I have heard good things. I struggled with anxiety and severe panic attacks for quite a while, and coped with alcohol, which led to even more problems. It is easy to seek a chemical cure when medications are not working, but I admire your strength and self-awareness regarding what you are and are not able to do. Benzodiazepines are extremely helpful, but you are right that they have abuse and dependence potential. Are you involved in therapy? I find cognitive behavioral therapy extremely helpful in teaching me ways to control my anxiety. Breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, and even biofeedback could help you. Panic attacks often seem random and out of the blue, but the brain has actually conditioned or trained itself to fear certain situations. Once a fear is hard-wired, whenever a similar situation presents itself, our brains go into fight-or-flight, with or without our approval, which leads to the panic attack. We literally have to retrain ourselves to respond to these situations differently; therapy can speed up this process. I implore you to talk to your doctor about your symptoms, and consider therapy. Anxiety is difficult, but you do not have to compromise with it.

I wish you the very best of luck. Be sure to keep us posted.

I will be sure to talk to my doctor about the anxiety. I see him in about a week. I think the breathing and relaxation would help. Not sure what biofeedback is... and I have started working through CBT on a website. My group therapy at the methadone clinic uses CBT for recovery, too. That's pretty interesting about the brain! When I think of it that way it makes more sense. I do try to track what is happening when I experience anxiety, haven't been able to really find a pattern. But its probably something I am not even aware of happening to trigger it. I don't know, but I know its wrecking my life.

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(((1000mile)))

I'm sorry to see that you're having issues with anxiety right now. I know you've been struggling for a while and my heart goes out to you. I do have to commend you for your strength through all of this though. My God I couldn't imagine how you deal with it all. Just the fact that you're so committed to your sobriety is a great achievement. Don't for a minute sell yourself short on this because most people in your shoes could never make it this far, mental illness or not. I just want to make sure that YOU realize how strong you are. I think we all forget this at times.

As for the anxiety, I know it all too well. I too get it in waves. Sometimes it happens during stressful events, other times it happens for apparently no reason at all. As you said I don't think it's always a conscious trigger. Our brains can some times play "tricks" on us and things we thought we had dealt with or coped with sometimes find a way to sneak up on us. Subconsciously we are much more active then I think anyone really understands. For that reason I kind of gave up trying to understand why and when I'll get into a high anxiety state. For me it's all about preventing stress, getting a good nights rest, and learning how to deal with the anxiety should it come around. I find that by being preventative it helps a lot of the anxiety from ever happening. Then if it does still happen, I use my coping skills to get through it and always remember that it WILL eventually pass.

When it comes to meds I don't know many besides benzo's. I wish I could help you more, but so far they are the only things that have worked consistently for me. I do think you could talk with your doctor about it though. Perhaps an adjustment to your medication or an add on med would help (such as an AD that works well for anxiety).

I do hope you find something soon. I know you're hurting right now and I wish you all the best. Don't give up, especially on yourself. You've come this far and shown so much strength. You CAN do this.

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(((1000mile)))

Don't give up, especially on yourself. You've come this far and shown so much strength. You CAN do this.

Thank you SO much, darcness. You are always so good at reminding me of the good things. My counselor tells me this too, and that I need to believe that I can do it. It is hard, because I don't usually believe anything good about myself. A teacher of mine in the 10th grade (many many moons ago!) told me I didn't accept compliments well. At the time, I was skeptical of what he said. Looking back, he was spot on! Compliments make me super uncomfortable! I will try my best to avoid them, shrug them off, deny them, change the subject... because I just don't believe them to be true.

I do see my pdoc in about a week and I am already trying to psych (no pun intended) myself up to not let him rush through and push me out the door in 5 minutes. I want him to listen to me this time. I NEED him to listen to me! I am starting to jot down some questions I want to ask so I don't forget when I get there.

Thanks again!

1000MJ

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I guess you can just call me an eternal optimist MJ. I always have been. I guess it's one of those things I still pride myself in, something that not even MI can take away from me! :smilingteeth:

As for you taking compliments, it's understandable. I too am pretty modest. Unless I truly believe a positive trait about MYSELF, I won't let anyone tell me any different. It's just how some of us work. I'm sure the mental state you're in right now doesn't make that any easier. Of course your depression and anxiety is trying to tell that everything is crap. Just try not to listen ok?

You know what I think about your pdoc? I think if he doesn't listen and tries to push you out, you push right back. If he isn't going to give you the care you feel you deserve, then start shopping. There's nothing wrong with finding another pdoc who will listen and give you the time you need to feel comfortable. Sometimes when it comes to our mental health we have to be our own best advocate. Plus sometimes it feels good to "fire" your doctor. At least if they suck, lol. :laugh:

Edited by darcness
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My anxiety is in full raging swing today!!!! Let's just say I am in pretty bad shape. I don't really know what to say or how to explain what I am feeling right now. I am just sick. All I can think of is that I want to go home, pack up the car, pick up my daughter, and just disappear. I've never felt so trapped and completely helpless in my life. I am keep crying, not able to get a deep enough breath, with my heart pounding in my chest... My stomach is in knots. I am trying to get my mind off it but I just can't!

I found out yesterday that I am being taken to court by my daughter's father for visitation rights. She has been in therapy for months and is just now starting to heal from the abuse she has suffered in his "care". The hearing is Monday. I am even frightened to have to be in the same room as him, and I have to hand my daughter over to him knowing how scared she is of him? I keep praying- even though my faith is weak and I haven't been on the best of terms with God lately. I'm praying for Him to intervene somehow...give us the ability to fight this and get through it.

Please, if you believe... pray for us! I don't know what else to do but to turn it over to God.

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I am sorry, 1000milejourney.

:console:

I can't imagine leaving my daughter with her father if he wasn't a good dad. That would be unbearable. I can understand your distress. I really hope things work out. What a crappy situation to be in. Can you show that he isn't a good caregiver and that your daughter is in fear of him, intherapy, etc. Try to gather evidence.

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My anxiety is in full raging swing today!!!! Let's just say I am in pretty bad shape. I don't really know what to say or how to explain what I am feeling right now. I am just sick. All I can think of is that I want to go home, pack up the car, pick up my daughter, and just disappear. I've never felt so trapped and completely helpless in my life. I am keep crying, not able to get a deep enough breath, with my heart pounding in my chest... My stomach is in knots. I am trying to get my mind off it but I just can't!

I found out yesterday that I am being taken to court by my daughter's father for visitation rights. She has been in therapy for months and is just now starting to heal from the abuse she has suffered in his "care". The hearing is Monday. I am even frightened to have to be in the same room as him, and I have to hand my daughter over to him knowing how scared she is of him? I keep praying- even though my faith is weak and I haven't been on the best of terms with God lately. I'm praying for Him to intervene somehow...give us the ability to fight this and get through it.

Please, if you believe... pray for us! I don't know what else to do but to turn it over to God.

(((1000milejoruney)))

I know how awful panic attacks and anxiety can be, having dealt with it myself. I can see that your upcoming court date coupled with having to turn your daughter over to your ex, has escalating your anxiety. I can pray along with you and hope all works out for best.

It might be difficult but try and practice some relaxation techniques like breathing exercised, stretching, and even going on a long walk to distract your mind away from the situation if only temporarily.

I hope your appointment goes well with your pdoc. If not, I wish you the best in finding a new one who will provide you with the best of care.

Lindahurt

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Is there any way you could have your daughters doctor talk to the court? If so then perhaps he/she could explain to them exactly what's going on with your daughter. I do feel like they should get all sides to any story. Maybe it's something you could ask your attorney (if you have one) or the courts. I don't think it could hurt.

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Oh my GOSH can I relate to you and your anxiety!!! I have the same off the wall symptoms and an 11 year old son whose father didn't show up into his life until I asked for my one and only raise in child support. He took me to court thinking he was just going to walz in and get half custody and get out of paying but he did get 2 days a week with one being an overnight. My son barely knows him and it's been over a year and he STILL cries days in advance to the overnights! Just last week his dad told me he was going to goto court for every other weekend, 3 days in a row (Fri thru Sun but he plays in a band so he's not even THERE on Fri or Sat night!) and I said NO WAY. He's just trying to weazel his way up to that half custody. My son can't stand his stepmother, all she does is boss him around. It's OUR HOUSE, OUR RULES over there, eat what they fix or starve. They tell him it's all your mom's fault your like this, yeah, at least I was THERE the first 9 years of his life. I've been so stressed and so MAD all week my anxiety and depression are in overdrive!! To make matters worse, it's my son's overnight week Sun. and he's already stressing about it. His dad hasn't seen him during the week in over a month because he plays VOLLEYBALL (he's 48) on his court ordered night and apparently that's more important than spending time with his son. And he thinks he's going to beat me in court??? BRING IN ON, BIG BOY!

WHEW!!! Thanx, I needed that......

Marcia

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I am sorry, 1000milejourney.

:console:

I can't imagine leaving my daughter with her father if he wasn't a good dad. That would be unbearable. I can understand your distress. I really hope things work out. What a crappy situation to be in. Can you show that he isn't a good caregiver and that your daughter is in fear of him, intherapy, etc. Try to gather evidence.

I have kept a record of everything that has happened. Unfortunately, all he is really guilty of is emotional abuse... which is next to impossible to do anything about. Her counselor will probably be at the hearing to give her reccomendations. At first, they suspected sexual abuse... and it's like when that was eliminated they just said "ok, nothings wrong". She has told me she will recommend a period of adjustment so that there are no overnight stays for a while. I have also been told that the court can order that he not spank her (which should help her not to be as scared of him). The biggy is that she is going to recommend anger management for him- which is going to really tick him off big time! I'm not sure I even want to put that in there because I am afraid he will take it out on her. I am just so scared that he is going to hurt her. I know the only reason he is doing this is to punish me anyway... he has never cared about her. My worst fear is that something really bad will happen to her as a result of his (and his wife's) hatred of me. And I already know he tells her not to tell me about anything that happens at their house...

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(((1000milejoruney)))

I know how awful panic attacks and anxiety can be, having dealt with it myself. I can see that your upcoming court date coupled with having to turn your daughter over to your ex, has escalating your anxiety. I can pray along with you and hope all works out for best.

It might be difficult but try and practice some relaxation techniques like breathing exercised, stretching, and even going on a long walk to distract your mind away from the situation if only temporarily.

I hope your appointment goes well with your pdoc. If not, I wish you the best in finding a new one who will provide you with the best of care.

Lindahurt

Lindahurt,

Thank you for your reply. Yes, everything that is happening is definitely excalating the anxiety! When I started replying here I felt my first big surge of it hit me like a brick wall. This situation with my little girl has been the biggest cause of my anxiety for months. It's always lingering there as a huge threat to our safety and well-being. I will try to use the techniques you mentioned... especially at the hearing as I fear I may lose it otherwise.

1000MJ

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(((1000milejoruney)))

I know how awful panic attacks and anxiety can be, having dealt with it myself. I can see that your upcoming court date coupled with having to turn your daughter over to your ex, has escalating your anxiety. I can pray along with you and hope all works out for best.

It might be difficult but try and practice some relaxation techniques like breathing exercised, stretching, and even going on a long walk to distract your mind away from the situation if only temporarily.

I hope your appointment goes well with your pdoc. If not, I wish you the best in finding a new one who will provide you with the best of care.

Lindahurt

Lindahurt,

Thank you for your reply. Yes, everything that is happening is definitely excalating the anxiety! When I started replying here I felt my first big surge of it hit me like a brick wall. This situation with my little girl has been the biggest cause of my anxiety for months. It's always lingering there as a huge threat to our safety and well-being. I will try to use the techniques you mentioned... especially at the hearing as I fear I may lose it otherwise.

1000MJ

I can imagine your fears, but I hope that everything works in favor for you and your daughter.

Lindahurt

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Is there any way you could have your daughters doctor talk to the court? If so then perhaps he/she could explain to them exactly what's going on with your daughter. I do feel like they should get all sides to any story. Maybe it's something you could ask your attorney (if you have one) or the courts. I don't think it could hurt.

See my reply to Spiritual Wanderer... about her therapist being at the hearing... maybe wouldn't hurt to get her pediatrician involved, too. I will definitely bring it up with my lawyer!

Thank you!

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Oh my GOSH can I relate to you and your anxiety!!! I have the same off the wall symptoms and an 11 year old son whose father didn't show up into his life until I asked for my one and only raise in child support. He took me to court thinking he was just going to walz in and get half custody and get out of paying but he did get 2 days a week with one being an overnight. My son barely knows him and it's been over a year and he STILL cries days in advance to the overnights! Just last week his dad told me he was going to goto court for every other weekend, 3 days in a row (Fri thru Sun but he plays in a band so he's not even THERE on Fri or Sat night!) and I said NO WAY. He's just trying to weazel his way up to that half custody. My son can't stand his stepmother, all she does is boss him around. It's OUR HOUSE, OUR RULES over there, eat what they fix or starve. They tell him it's all your mom's fault your like this, yeah, at least I was THERE the first 9 years of his life. I've been so stressed and so MAD all week my anxiety and depression are in overdrive!! To make matters worse, it's my son's overnight week Sun. and he's already stressing about it. His dad hasn't seen him during the week in over a month because he plays VOLLEYBALL (he's 48) on his court ordered night and apparently that's more important than spending time with his son. And he thinks he's going to beat me in court??? BRING IN ON, BIG BOY!

WHEW!!! Thanx, I needed that......

Marcia

Wow! Thank you Marcia! Sounds like our kids have the same dad!

I can definitely relate. My girl is traumatized by having to go there. I dread the day when she will have to start staying overnight. I'm not sure what the age is where they can finally make the decision themselves about wether or not to see the father... 12 or 14 maybe? At least your son is a little closer to that, right? I know, even a few years seems an eternity when you are dealing with this.

Really, there is so much in common here! My daughter's dad has always put his social life first... Since he decided to acknowledge her about a year and a half ago (when he started having to pay child support...) he has seen her about 20 times!!! In one month, he might have seen her 4 times/once a week. But then he would go 3 months and not have any contact at all with her or me. Totally inconsistent! But of course, it's all MY fault.

Ok, since this has the potential of becoming a pretty long reply, I think i will stop here and PM you, if you don't mind. I think we could offer each other a lot in the way of support.

Thank you!!

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