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Do You Waste Time


hkc9591

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I have a good life. I have a good job (I teach school). I have a great family. When I am home I either want to sleep or just sit around literally doing nothing. I love my husband, but I look forward to the time when he is gone so I can sit and do "nothing". I don't even want to watch tv. (Sometimes I will read if I can find a really good book. )Before the depression, I stayed busy all the time doing constructive things and things with friends. Why does depression do this? I would love to get some kind of "passion" back. I am a Christian, and I even feel that my faith is so weak right now. I am on some good meds that help, but I guess there's nothing that can make us totally back to what we were before. Just wish it could all be fixed.

Thanks for listening.

Connie

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I really hate to admit it, but yes, I do waste alot of time... I don't have any energy, and not much gets accomplished. I can't even work or take care of the house. I know it will get better eventually, and I am trying to hang on until it does...

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I waste loads of time - it's my life's work right now.

Connie, I understand what you say about wanting to be alone so you can just do nothing. For me, I think part of it is that I feel very guilty for doing nothing, so want to appear busy when others are around. I've almost given up the pretense, shamelessly wasting time, out in the open.

Give yourself a break, and being a teacher, I'd think it would be very soothing to just do nothing if it wasn't coming from a place of depression. Hang in there, you aren't alone. M of P

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Hi Connie,

I can understand you needing some down time especially after coming home from work. You might consider learning more about CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) to work on changing your thoughts to help you get motivated to do other things outside of work. I find it very helpful when I'm too laxed and need to spend my time more constructively. It helps to keep depression from getting the best of you by keeping busy.

Lindahurt

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I do, and I really hate that I do. ._.;; I KNOW I could be doing something... I know I SHOULD be doing something... but I just never, ever feel like it. Generally even when I do get off of my behind and do things, it never makes me feel better afterwards like people tell me it will, so I hardly ever see the point in trying. I can force myself at work, but otherwise I'm just... in a huge "no" mood.

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I REALLY appreciate everyone's replies. It means so much to me to have such a support group. I will do better at replying to other's posts. I have up and down days. I hate to admit this, but yesterday I took a Klonopin just so I could sleep the afternoon away instead of getting my work done. I slept for 5 solid hours! It was nice to just get away from life for a while, but not very healthy taking a pill to do that. :(

Thanks again.

Connie

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Teaching is very rewarding and also very stressful. If you are a wife and mother on top of that, then that is added stress. No wonder you are tired when you get home which is further complicated by the depression. Make a list of the must do's. Do the most important one first to get it out of the way. Break it up into integrals. Do the parts first that you dislike the least. This will jump start you. Leave the nice to do's but not essentials for the weekend. Space them out over this large period of time. Take breaks between chores to take a nap or have some tea or do something you enjoy. But most important, do not beat up on yourself. This only makes things worse and you have enough stress without adding this undeserved action. Take care and continue to share your concerns on this forum. I always feel less stressed when I do this.

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I do, and I really hate that I do. ._.;; I KNOW I could be doing something... I know I SHOULD be doing something... but I just never, ever feel like it. Generally even when I do get off of my behind and do things, it never makes me feel better afterwards like people tell me it will, so I hardly ever see the point in trying. I can force myself at work, but otherwise I'm just... in a huge "no" mood.

One thing CBT teaches you is how poisonous the word 'should' is.

"I should be doing this, or I should feel better' -- statements like this just lead to feelings of guilt.

In fact, it's one of CBT's 10 types of distorted thinking that leads to or exacerbates depression.

8. Should Statements

Should statements are ways we talk to ourselves that emphasise expectations, rules and unattainable standards. Should statement are self defeating, because after imposing what we "should" be doing on ourselves, and always falling short of our own ideals, we tend to rebel against our own ideals, and we fail in our own eyes. (From http://addictions.about.com/od/overcomingaddiction/tp/cognitive_distortions.htm)

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I am the "queen of procrastination." lol I used to do nothing when I came home from work except veg. Eventually, I started taking my dog out for walks before it got dark. Good exercise and it helped ease the depression. I'm retired/disabled now. I've built a routine. When I wake up in the morning, I get up and do not crawl back into bed until it's bedtime. I have a farm that requires a lot of work. During the summer, I stay busy all day with projects outdoors. I avoid housework like the plague during the summer. I look at the mess when I have free time and walk away. I'll sit outdoors in the sun to avoid doing housework. When I'm finished outside for the day, I make dinner and then veg until bedtime.

My neighbors have one family night out a week. They will go out for dinner and maybe a movie or stroll through one of the malls. Maybe a family night out would be good for you, too. Taking a walk a few nights a week can be relaxing. If you plan for something to do every evening for 30 mins or longer, it will help with the procrastination and help with depression. I find keeping occupied is a great secondary treatment for depression.

Sheepwoman

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Thank you, Sheepwoman!

You sound like you have a nice routine that works for you. I would love to take my dog for a walk each evening. I always find a reason not to. But I know it would be good for me and HIM. I just need the motivation, and I will try it tomorrow, and see how it goes.

Connie

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I feel like I expend all of my energy at work, and so have very little for home :(

i get that way sometimes. but right now i feel like i have a ton of energy, but any pursuit is pointless so im stuck in one place. its like i even have things to do and know i have enough personal value to accomplish them, but i feel like ill be suspect the whole time. it seems like defending myself from hordes of accusative eyes is an impossible task, so ive just given up.

but actually this weekend, i was able to muster enough power and go look around town. i didnt end up really doing anything worth mentioning, so in a way it actually was pointless. but i was proud of myself, i got to see alot of stuff ive never seen before. i saw that the feeling keeping me down was just a feeling, and all i really had to do was stand up and walk. and my mind would automatically switch gears. now to just be able to do that everyday, or at least even today would be a start... :(

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