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Procrastination Is So Frustrating!


marmoset

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Hi all,

I've got things I REALLY need to do, and yet I have a very serious case of heel dragging. It's so frustrating! The thing is, these aren't trivial tasks either. I need to find another place to live, and I also need to find a job to bring in more income. I've seesawed back and forth about applying for disability, but even if I end up doing that, I'm going to need more money while I wait. I find myself going on line and doing everything but attending to those two issues. As much as I'm glad that the Internet exists, I often find it way too full of distractions! It's so easy to find a million things to do on line, even when I know I have to get this stuff done. A former choir director of mine has been generous enough to let me stay at his place, but I have a feeling he'll want me out soon. It was two weeks this past Friday, and he said it would be all right for me to stay three or four weeks when I moved my stuff there. I'm really ashamed to admit it, but I don't really have the money to afford any place. I really don't want to have to tell him that, as he might get very angry at me. I don't think he'd kick me out, but he'd probably say something like, "You've been here a little over two weeks, and you haven't made any plans to find another place to live?!" I really have nothing to say to that, other than: "No, I haven't really looked into finding another place all that much. I don't have the money to move elsewhere, and I've been ashamed to ask people in my church choir if I could stay with any of them." I really don't have a good excuse other than being extremely depressed.

I know I'm rambling, and I'll close for now. I was just wondering if there were others out there who knew what they had to do and yet procrastinated as much as I.

Thanks. I derive great comfort from what people post, and I look forward to hearing from whoever decides to chime in.

All best,

Scott

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Dear Scott,

All I can say is welcome to the club. I could possibly be the queen of procrastination and it sabotaged my last semester, delayed my graduation, and now threatening my career. So currently, I am in fighting this evil. My procrastination is the result of severe anxiety i feel when I start doing my project or studies. I get so anxious that I will fail and keep delaying the task at hand to the extent that I actually fail at it. It is like I am 26 year old adult human being who knowingly is doing everything possible to get deeper into the quicksand. I can ramble on hours for this.

I am PMing some self help links for cognitive techniques I have found to tackle procrastination. Please take a look at them. Hopefully they will help you in finding the root cause of your procrastination which could be

1. fatigue caused by depression

2. Unmotivated state as a result of depression

3. Fear of failure in your task or others.

Once you identify the reason, it is easier to tackle Procrastination. I hope that you are either undergoing therapy or taking meds for your depression. These can help you to become motivated enough to do daily activities.

Please don't be hard on yourself. ( This can be more of a note to myself). You can try and explain to your landlord how you feel once you identify the problem and let him know that you are working on it.

I hope your landlord shows compassion towards you. My best wishes and prayers will be with you. :hugs:

Naruto

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Hi all,

I've got things I REALLY need to do, and yet I have a very serious case of heel dragging. It's so frustrating! The thing is, these aren't trivial tasks either. I need to find another place to live, and I also need to find a job to bring in more income. I've seesawed back and forth about applying for disability, but even if I end up doing that, I'm going to need more money while I wait. I find myself going on line and doing everything but attending to those two issues. As much as I'm glad that the Internet exists, I often find it way too full of distractions! It's so easy to find a million things to do on line, even when I know I have to get this stuff done. A former choir director of mine has been generous enough to let me stay at his place, but I have a feeling he'll want me out soon. It was two weeks this past Friday, and he said it would be all right for me to stay three or four weeks when I moved my stuff there. I'm really ashamed to admit it, but I don't really have the money to afford any place. I really don't want to have to tell him that, as he might get very angry at me. I don't think he'd kick me out, but he'd probably say something like, "You've been here a little over two weeks, and you haven't made any plans to find another place to live?!" I really have nothing to say to that, other than: "No, I haven't really looked into finding another place all that much. I don't have the money to move elsewhere, and I've been ashamed to ask people in my church choir if I could stay with any of them." I really don't have a good excuse other than being extremely depressed.

I know I'm rambling, and I'll close for now. I was just wondering if there were others out there who knew what they had to do and yet procrastinated as much as I.

Thanks. I derive great comfort from what people post, and I look forward to hearing from whoever decides to chime in.

All best,

Scott

Hi fellow procrastinator,

I have the same response to anxiety, depression, impulsivity and perfectionism. Yes, I need to get a job and move also. I am an all or nothing person. Procrastination is a self sabotaging, self destructive behaviour.

I have been a couch surfer but I am ashamed to say that I am being assisted by family and am renting a place. So the self defeating cycle continues. Put the cart before the horse.

Wikipediia has some interesting information on procrastination and self destruction.

Here is an excerpt..

Avoidance: Where we avoid the locale or situation where the task takes place (e.g., a graduate student avoiding going to University). <LI>Distraction: Where we engage or immerse ourselves in other behaviors or actions to prevent awareness of the task (e.g., intensive videogame playing or Internet surfing)

Procrastination has been linked to impulsivity and attention deficit. The person who suffers from this behaviour can be emotion or avoidant orientated rather than being a problem solver. This leads to temporary immediate gratification.

Thanks for posting and explaining your predicament. I know I am not alone. But I have lost friends and am somewhat disconnected from family and the world because of this behaviour. I have no one to blame. But I feel the shame.

I did make it to the doctor and get medication a week ago. I get a check mark for that one. I enrolled in a group therapy CBT class. They phoned me 4 times before I responded.

So here I am another wasted day and losing hope and faith. what a disappointment. I am looking for some compassion for myself.

Solarflare

Edited by solarflare
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Dear Scott,

All I can say is welcome to the club. I could possibly be the queen of procrastination and it sabotaged my last semester, delayed my graduation, and now threatening my career. So currently, I am in fighting this evil. My procrastination is the result of severe anxiety i feel when I start doing my project or studies. I get so anxious that I will fail and keep delaying the task at hand to the extent that I actually fail at it. It is like I am 26 year old adult human being who knowingly is doing everything possible to get deeper into the quicksand. I can ramble on hours for this.

I am PMing some self help links for cognitive techniques I have found to tackle procrastination. Please take a look at them. Hopefully they will help you in finding the root cause of your procrastination which could be

1. fatigue caused by depression

2. Unmotivated state as a result of depression

3. Fear of failure in your task or others.

Once you identify the reason, it is easier to tackle Procrastination. I hope that you are either undergoing therapy or taking meds for your depression. These can help you to become motivated enough to do daily activities.

Please don't be hard on yourself. ( This can be more of a note to myself). You can try and explain to your landlord how you feel once you identify the problem and let him know that you are working on it.

I hope your landlord shows compassion towards you. My best wishes and prayers will be with you. :hugs:

Naruto

Naruto,

I appreciate your thoughtful reply and the links you sent.

I can certainly relate to the whole self-sabotage syndrome. I once got an "F" in a course, because I never got around to writing a paper, even though I'd been given a year's extension. My grades were excellent otherwise. I'm currently facing a similar situation with my thesis. The only thing between me and my Bachelor of Music degree is my thesis. I've done all the research but still need to write it, and I keep delaying doing just that. I'm glad that there's no time deadline on completing a Bachelor's program: I finished all my coursework eight years ago (2003).

I wish I was still 26. I feel like my life's over at 44 without barely having lived it.

Yes, I am on medication. Yes, I go to therapy. They both help, although the pills probably help more than the therapy. That, and a lot of reading about depression and anxiety.

I believe I have all three of those causes you cited. I know I'd be much more functional if I could get a few good nights' sleep. I manage to sleep, but it's an extremely light sleep. Yes, I am unmotivated, mainly because the thought of having to "keep on keepin' on" every day for the rest of my life both terrifies and drains me. What I mean is, I can "fake it til I make it" for a while, but I just don't see how I can maintain that indefinitely. Hence the low motivation. As for the fear of failure, yes, I have that, and I also have a fear of success.

Thanks for the advice about being kind to myself. I'm much more forgiving of others than I have ever been of myself. I try to take myself out of my head, to see myself as another person would see me, with compassion, but I invariably end up back in my head with the punitive voices.

All best,

Scott

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Dear Scott,

Thanks for your kind words. We all sail in the same boat and I think this helps us to realize that the problems are caused by depression and not us. May be affirming this to yourself that "fear is caused by depression and not part of your personality ", will help you to be kinder towards yourself too.

I hope you get the strength to sort out your problems soon. Perhaps, praying might help you as well.( If you are a theist)

My best wishes and prayers will be with you

Naruto

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Hi all,

I used to be a regular on these boards having suffered depression for years. Good news is I'm pretty OK at the moment but the procrastination is TERRIBLE.

I work as a contract IT worker so need to get things done. And I cant. :-(

Any help or pointers appreciated?

I'm also wondering if this is another manifestation of depression?

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