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Trace

Relationship Poll #2

Survey of Relationships  

740 members have voted

  1. 1. What is Your Status

    • single
    • engaged
    • married
    • Cohabitation with significant other
    • divorced
    • widowed
    • involved in long term relationship but not living together
  2. 2. Are you satisfied with your status?



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Hi Everyone

It is time for a new relationship poll.

What are your relationships like and how have the impacted your mental illness.

Here is the link to the last poll:

Trace

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Hi Trace!

I'm single. I've usually been single and it usually doesn't bother me. I feel part of my purpose here is to be independent and do things on my own, but sometimes I do miss companionship and affection.

I suppose my "trouble" with relationships is due to depression/anxiety/loner tendancies...

:Coopdessert:

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I am living with my significant other. So far we have had a good relationship but as we get farther into it I can feel my anxiety, depression, and irrationality coming through more and more often and I am afraid my boyfriend may decide he doesnt want to be with me anymore and that he will want to return to his ex girlfriend. I'm hoping the meds will calm my irrational anger and thoughts and sadness, but I am starting to feel "hopeless" to say the least.

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I am currently living with my boyfriend. After a tumultuous year of being together, I realize that I got into this relationship too quickly. At the time I was really really low. This is way before I was diagnosed with moderate depression, GAD, and ADHD. When we met I thought I had finally met my prince charming. He said all of the right things, we had a lot of things in common,etc. Then reality soon hit when I made the biggest mistake by moving in with him only a month after being together.

Then the problems started. He has codependency issues, depression, self-esteem issues. He solely depends on me for EVERYTHING! I mean anything you name it. Making sure bills are paid and on time, making sure house stays in decent order (I'm not a maid), satisfying his emotional and physical needs. He always tells me that I am the only person he can talk to. I'm his best friend and only friend and he can't trust anyone but me. That I am suppose to be his best friend. That's alot to put on a person who has her own issues to deal with. Needless to say our relationship has had more downs than ups. I'm ready to move on but unfortunately I have a problem. I kinda depend on him right now for shelter because I am going to school and can't afford to live on my own. I am hoping that things will get better so I won't have to figure out how to get out but I highly doubt it.

He also likes to blame my meds for not "acting like a gf". Meaning I don't have sex with him, I don't gaze into his eyes longlngly and want to hang on his every word or want to be with him 24/7 and do everything together. I honestly have never been the mushy type but I always figured that I would be when I met the right guy. He insists the meds have messed up my sex drive and they aren't helping me like they should. He also says my psychologist and psychiatrist don't know what they are doing and aren't helping me at all. They are not trying to treat me properly. That I need to tell my doctor I am still not doing well and he needs to work on changing my meds or dosage. But I keep telling him that the meds are actually helping me thought not perfect. But the issue is really him. Like I said, he has issues himself. He smokes garden shrub everyday all day which I told him before I got with him that I hate garden shrub, he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions so everything is constantly a battle with him, since he smokes he is more depressed, lazy, and I basically am not attracted to him. He hid the garden shrub from me for the first month or two we were together so I didn't really realize how big of an issue it was until about 3 months in.

Sorry for the rant but I had to get this off my mind for once. Some days are harder than others. I sometimes get to that point where I need to take a small tranquilizer to keep me sane. I hate to but it is what it is until I can fix my situation one way or another. To be honest, I believe that he was put in my life for a reason. If I wasn't with him, I wouldn't be seeing the doctors that I am and getting help like I getting now, and I would be in a small place isolated from the rest of the world and wasting away. At least he tries to make sure I eat and he did encourage me to go finish my degree finally. He isn't a bad guy, just not sure what to make of him.

Last thought. I do have days where I rather be single and alone than dealing with him and his crap. Right now, my mind is set on not getting married or having kids (I'm 29). I feel like no guy out there would be willing to deal with my issues and bringing a kid into the mix just isn't right for the child. They shouldn't have to deal with a mother like me. I am too cold at times and tend to isolate myself a lot especially when I have my severe depression episodes.

Thanks for letting me get that out.

Feel a little better now :blah:

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I am married and have been so for almost 10 years. My husband is my greatest support, he's truly awesome, I hit the jackpot! He lets me cry on his shoulder, listen to me sobbing my concerns, is a great motivator, he understands the lack of sex. I think the one thing he truly doesn't understand are my anxieties, he's more like "there's nothing you can do about it, so why worry" while I am worrying my pants off. He is the greatest things that has ever happened to me and I consider myself very lucky. I wish everbody had a person they could rely on, significant other or not.

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I have been single for about 11 months, after an almost-2-year relationship. I am naturally independent-minded, so at times being single is just fine. But every night I imagine having someone to cuddle up with and talk to before sleeping...that's when I most often feel lonesome.

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Ive been with my boyfriend 3 years now, I am usually and mainly happy with my relationship as my boyfriend is so kind, caring and would do anything for me. I would love us to move out together very soon but a lack of money is keeping us apart. I often feel that our relationship isnt really moving forward, though we're very much in love, I often find that I want more and want to progress this relationship. Otherwise I couldn't ask for more from my relationship.

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It has been 2 years or so for me, and looking back we rushed into it. I admit I was feeling pretty low back then, just needing that closeness of a woman at night...man did I spoil her though :) I am very affectionate, compassionate, a listener, caring, and a pain in the *** when necessary. I don't regret it because she had a good heart and meant well, I guess we crossed paths because we both needed something (not sex really). I tried asking a girl out 3 or 4 weeks back, and I think I just embarassed myself really. I don't feel bad about it because she had a boyfriend, which shouldn't be surprising because she's gorgeous...chalk it up to experience and move on. There's one other girl I'm interested in and quite frankly if she is taken as well, well so be it. I used to think I wasn't worth it because of my depression and severe anxiety, but I guess that pails in comparison to what I have to offer..her loss. There is this girl that comes into the store and man is she hot, she strikes conversation with me but doesn't flirt when she has a boyfriend. We talked a while last time and I really liked the vibe I got off of her, she seemed grounded without the misleading conversation. The next time she comes in, I'll just throw it out there to see if she wants to talk later nothing big. I keep thinking that I need to make more money, drive a better car or be less nervous, then I remember that this is a huge ****** world, not all people are on a high-horse or ignorant. I feel like I just made a journal entry, that felt good. I'll find the right girl and be the best man I can be. Thankyou for listening DF members.

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I've been single for a few years now. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. My last relationship was pretty serious, even though we didn't get married, it lasted about 5 years, but ended poorly due to certain problems we both had: compulsive gambling, drug/alcohol abuse, and major financial problems, my depression didn't help matters either. I was very insecure and paranoid that she would be unfaithful to me, and I think it ended up pushing her further away. We we're deeply in love at the beginning, but the feelings faded due to our problems. She broke up with me, and it totally broke my heart, but I eventually got over it and learned some valuable lessons from it: mainly that its crucial that I be sober and emotionally stable before I enter into another relationship. So these days I'm working on myself, my sobriety, my mental state, bad habits, etc., so that if the time comes, I will be more mature in a relationship. Ultimately, though, I would like to learn to be content whether or not I'm in a relationship.

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I've been engaged for over 5 years. Because of my anxiety, an actual wedding sounds like a nightmare. Some great things have come from our relationship (my daughter) but we also fight and argue constantly. We've been taking a "break" now for a while and it's calmed us both down considerably. Hopefully things can go back the way they were before my anxiety worsened.

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I'm relatively content with being single right now, though I know that finding the right girl would probably benefit me. I've had a couple long relationships, roughly two years each, but they just weren't right for me. This aspect of my life is the only one that I feel comfortable leaving up to fate, or coincidence, or whatever external force exists. I'm sure I'll meet someone later on in life, once I am done with school and financially stable. I'm willing to wait.

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My relationship has been negatively affected by my depression in the sense that my significant other cannot handle all the stress of her mothers depression along with my issues. She tends to let things go in an attempt to get my mood up. It does not always work, but I am well aware that it is my fault, as well as my responsibilty to make myself better. Not hers.

Wyatt

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Single, and would really like to change that, but have no confidence to do it because of my depression. On meds and starting CBT soon, but a lot of the time its hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

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Married for 2 years, been with him for 5. He's my rock and guardian when I'm in the rabbit hole. He's the only person I've given explicit instructions to remove my knives from my purse and pockets if I seem far enough down. He tries his best to understand, but there are times I can tell he's exasperated or confused by my persistence on the topic when I visibly don't want to be.

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I am married with a 9 year old daughter. Depression followed loss of career, death of a friend and while in grief counseling, remembering I was violently molested when I was 18. My wife is supportive but also not sure of who the hell she married, as this drop in the abyss was nothing she expected from her once supportive and positive husband, We try like hell to keep our young daughter from feeling the blows, but she knows something up and eventually we will have to clue her in. Childhood is so short, I do want her to grow up too fast.

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I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years so he has been around for half of the time I've been dealing with depression. We are engaged and he moved in with me and my family a year ago as he got a new job which was nearer to my home. Before this we lived an hours drive away so now he is living with me it helps me more. He is everything to me and I'd be lost without him.

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I'm single, and I'm usually okay with that. The depression is making me feel more abandoned though.

I don't know if I qualify as a loner-type. I get that way during depression, but I like being with other people too much to be a true loner, esp when I'm in remission. I'm not too out-going, but I'm usually still friendly and stuff. It's just now I'm more content (if you can call it that) to keep to myself. Certainly I don't want to put anyone else thru the nonsense this disease can cause. I learned the hard way that it's wrong to expect others to be supportive of me when they don't know me well enough to realize that I'm not usually this way. I have emotional outbursts-- try explaining that to someone you've only known for a month! I'm no fun to be around. I don't talk much anymore. In short I'm boring and too sensitive. Given that, it makes sense for people to leave and abandon me. No one wants such a demanding friend. I dislike feeling abandoned more than I dislike feeling lonely, so it's best for everyone if I don't get involved right now. I just wouldn't be a good friend. :(

This ignores the fact that I'm asexual anyways-- I'm not attracted to men or women (or anything else) that way. I doubt the average person would be willing to tolerate that in addition to my depression.

No, I feel lonely due to a lack of friends rather than of a partner. But like I said before, I wouldn't be a good friend to anyone like this.

Edited by funchas

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Single, really liked a girl recently and we were very close and I thought she felt the same (she even said this when I told her how I felt). We then arranged to go to the cinema but she pulled out saying she didn't feel right (whatever that means) basically the day before. This happened right as I was entering a low and I have been depressed for my full school summers holidays. Plus we rarely talk now so I also feel I have lost a close friend.

Sc

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I put down "Cohabitation with significant other" even though we're still in transition (moving in together September).

My relationships are always very intense and somewhat turbulent (go blame the BPD), and I tend to move quickly and consider things as temporary. But then again, I've never been able to be this much myself around anyone. Always felt like I had to keep my crazy on the down-low. Not this time though ... so fingers crossed.

Edited by ellymerryweather

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I am married with the dark cloud of divorce hovering over me. I love my wife and I'm fighting for my family. There are moments I don't know what to do.

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I live with my partner and have been in a relationship for two years, I love him to death, he is perfect in nearly every way. The only downside is the fact he's going through a messy divorce and has a child, it causes a lot of stress and in the past things have been insane and gone through courts, child being used as weapon and all of that crap. And having never been married or have children I find it hard to understand how he's feeling and cant cope with my own feelings. Things are getting better now but sometimes the enormity of all his baggage crushes me and I cant deal with it. I feel very insignificant to him sometimes and get very jealous and insecure about it, which is obviously not helpful when dealing with day to day anxiety and depression on top. There are lots of highs in our relationship, but lots of lows too.

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I am struggling in a marriage with depression. I don't know if my marriage is awful because I'm depressed or if I'm depressed because my marriage is awful.

Medication helped for a few years but I don't want to stay on drugs forever.

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