Jump to content

Don't See Another Step


JPatrick

Recommended Posts

Life has really hit me in the face the last 4 years but most of all this year alone..

I am highly depressed and lost in life due to the fact im withdrawing from so many prescription drugs and illegal drugs i dont even know which one i need to take to stop the withdrawals

I am also introuble highly with the police due to crimes of releasing my stress and depression and i am currently on probabtion and a drr (drug rehabilation requirement) for 2 years and im currently on bail for around another 5 offenences which stops me planning on progressing in life.

the only time i go out is to go to rehab i hate the area i live in and everyone here i am well known in there area due to being a ex drug dealer and a pub landlords son (i live in a pub) so drugs and alcohol are very easily available to me to be honest i see this as karma i treated my ex fiancee like crap i use to sell the drugs im now addicted too and i never valued life from day one.

if i ever do want to go out to stop depression and to socialize i cannot i get searched and questioned by the police everywere i go, i get pestered by people to get them drugs and i see ex's everywere i go aswell as enemies i really cannot leave this house without one of these things happening.

i am very educated in computers (programming,webdesign,computer security) but to be honest iv lost intrest in that too

everyone in my family is just addicted to drugs,sells drugs, or just drinks every single day most people come here looking for the answer but im here to find the question

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Life has really hit me in the face the last 4 years but most of all this year alone..

I am highly depressed and lost in life due to the fact im withdrawing from so many prescription drugs and illegal drugs i dont even know which one i need to take to stop the withdrawals

I am also introuble highly with the police due to crimes of releasing my stress and depression and i am currently on probabtion and a drr (drug rehabilation requirement) for 2 years and im currently on bail for around another 5 offenences which stops me planning on progressing in life.

the only time i go out is to go to rehab i hate the area i live in and everyone here i am well known in there area due to being a ex drug dealer and a pub landlords son (i live in a pub) so drugs and alcohol are very easily available to me to be honest i see this as karma i treated my ex fiancee like crap i use to sell the drugs im now addicted too and i never valued life from day one.

if i ever do want to go out to stop depression and to socialize i cannot i get searched and questioned by the police everywere i go, i get pestered by people to get them drugs and i see ex's everywere i go aswell as enemies i really cannot leave this house without one of these things happening.

i am very educated in computers (programming,webdesign,computer security) but to be honest iv lost intrest in that too

everyone in my family is just addicted to drugs,sells drugs, or just drinks every single day most people come here looking for the answer but im here to find the question

Hello, seems the question is how to re-establish self-esteem and community esteem. All of this can be put behind you if you hang in there and put in the effort to be a model citizen. Stigma's can be reversed. Go straight and perhaps offer to be an example to kids in school by giving talks of what you have been through, or making appearances at AA meetings talking about the evils of drugs and alcohol or by even offering to go to jails and give lectures on how our life has been destroyed by dealing and taking drugs. Obviously you are not happy with your past and want to set an example for others can be the question you seek. Can you be a role-model. Yes. Can you straighten out your life and re-establish self esteem, yes, can you be an example to others of what drugs can put you through, yes. I think the question you need to ask is what can you do to change your image and gain respect. I can only offer advice and suggestions, you must do what you think is right for yourself.

Good Luck, I think you already know the question and really are searching for answers...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is also a problem i forgot to mention this rehab and counciling and group therapy i have no choice i have to do it or i get jailed for breach i dont want to talk or associate with drugs anymore i dont understand this how can being around drug users, who are on drugs, and just talking about drugs stop me doing drugs i just wanted it erased and not mentioned again.

but no everyweek i go there i have to repeat the same problem to a new staff member there and list every drug iv taken in shame repeating it over and over its like they try make you feel ashamed of what you have done there.

Edited by JPatrick
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi JPatrick

You are in a really awful situation. I commend you for walking away from drugs, it is not easy, especially when you are in a neighbourhood that is rife with it. I realize that you have no choice but to do the rehab, but I do think what you have done is inspirational. I don't know much about the law there, but is there any way that are allowed to move to another area while you are in rehab and on bail? Or at least try and find some sort of work in another area?

Your neighbourhood must be an awful reminder of everything, especially when you just want to put it behind you.

Trace

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi JPatrick

You are not weak at all, you are in a place where you are constantly reminded about it all and that is not an easy place to be in.

Trace

i see i gave in and took alot of ecstasy today im going to feel this in the morning but somehow i feel better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So forgive yourself for falling off the wagon, and continue trying to quit doing drugs. It does seem like it would be helpful to get out of the surroundings you are in though. I have a friend that was an alcoholic and his family owned a bar. Bad combination. Luckily the bar closed down. Now he has a better chance of getting sober.

You can do it.

Steve.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So forgive yourself for falling off the wagon, and continue trying to quit doing drugs. It does seem like it would be helpful to get out of the surroundings you are in though. I have a friend that was an alcoholic and his family owned a bar. Bad combination. Luckily the bar closed down. Now he has a better chance of getting sober.

You can do it.

Steve.

Talk to your Doctor (who is prescribing the withdrawal meds?), AA counselor, rehab service co-ordinator, and/or parole officer to see if there are options for other places for you to live. As you said you are in a very difficult situation right now, which isn't helping you to make the right (healthy) choices with your life. Before you talk with anyone, however, you need to be honest with yourself about how badly you want to feel better, part of which means staying clean/sober and law abidding, okay? Remember that we all screw up now and then, the trick is making it right and getting back on track...I wish you the best.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes i want to move that is my number one concern. Thanks for the advice im currently seeing a girl who i knew before rehab who is in there too with me so we are now going through it together i think i know what i now need to do.

Edited by JPatrick
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...