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r90

Holidays Here And I Feel Lonely, Empty And Cold...

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Today is the first day of the holiday, and I am already having a very terrible rough day, I am now ready to accept loneliness, I'll stop fighting it, because fighting it makes me more lonely... I really want to immigrate to another society, I am stuck here, Let God be with me to survive these days... Thanks for listening =)

r90

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Ah yes the holidays, a cruel inward display of my social isolation. I relate completely, and thank God we have these forums to dwell in. Sometimes I wish I could migrate to the Himalayas and live in a cave with yogis to escape, but these are the things we have to deal with. Just stay online, and we can support each other :)

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Boredom and emptiness are huge aspects of my borderline personality disorder, and having also depression complicates things... My medication isn't helping yet, my mind is twisted, I can't relate to people, I shall always be broken...

This is the only place where I can rest, no one here knows about my daily suffering...

Thank you translucentshade for your kind support =)

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No problem friend. I had a therapist tell me that I likely have BPD but I do not know for sure if this is the correct diagnosis. I taken tests for it and I display many of the symptoms, but until a professional verifies it, I can only speculate. I have never related to anyone one before I came here, and I find it therapeutic and dual-serving to help people I can relate too. :)

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Hello, just wanted to say ditto to the above posts. I am living in a semi-reclusive environment right now while recovering. I *do* talk a bit with friends and relatives, however, I do not want to over-burden anyone right now. So I discovered DF and find it both theraputic and have established some good friends here, where we help each other out. You will find other people here that are lonely and would like to talk to you.

Good Luck, I found DF a life-saver as I enjoy trying to help others and find it theraputic myself...

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Boredom and emptiness are huge aspects of my borderline personality disorder, and having also depression complicates things... My medication isn't helping yet, my mind is twisted, I can't relate to people, I shall always be broken...

This is the only place where I can rest, no one here knows about my daily suffering...

Thank you translucentshade for your kind support =)

Hi r90,

There are ways and means of developing relationships regardless of your BPD. Yes it can be a struggle but it is also a challenge. Nobody is 'boxed in' because of a diagnosis, it is what you want to make of your world that matters in the end.

Just go and do all the things you fear and prove that you can become a social person just as much as the next person. Having BPD is not a barrier to having a great social life.

Best Wishes

Jim, Bow

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R90:

I'm sorry today is a tough day and that the holiday seasons serve to make things more empty. It also doesn't help to be upping a dose at the same time. That's always hard as so many of us know. You are so bright and interesting. Find a way over the next few days to frame those negative thoughts with gentler interpretations. I know it is not easy.

I'm glad you used this forum to reach out.

You know the BPD thing runs all kinds of spectrums. You are going to find a way to rise above your situation. I know it.

tim

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(translucentshade) (BetterOff) (jimbow15) (Tim 52)

I'd like to thank all off you guys for your kind support, I'll take each recommendation of yours into consideration =)

r90

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I have never ever imagined that I'll reach this point in my life, this disorder in thought, this dramatic moodiness, this bizarre behavior, this sharp emptiness...

I don't believe in reincarnation, but I WISH if it's true, so that I can get another chance, another world, another life, peace everybody.

r90

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I have never ever imagined that I'll reach this point in my life, this disorder in thought, this dramatic moodiness, this bizarre behavior, this sharp emptiness...

I don't believe in reincarnation, but I WISH if it's true, so that I can get another chance, another world, another life, peace everybody.

r90

hello again, just to let you know you are not alone here at all, I never thought I would find myself in this situation also, and there are millions around the world that are suffering this same emptiness. But at least you can find a safe haven here for the time being til a good friend comes along. Try joining a club, or work your way slowly out of the house by taking walks (which are good for you) and enjoy the pretty sunsets, trees, birds, etc... try and keep your mind occupied. and of course I find it theraput to share with others on DF.

good luck, I am watching this thread....

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Thank you again BetterOff for caring and watching this thread...

I can keep myself busy, and I walk miles everyday! But this does nothing other than, in a way or another, contributing more and more to emptiness, holiday will be over today, hope that this crisis would be over soon, I'll keep you updated guys ( But shall I always wait and avoid and not face my demons ? )

r90

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Thank you again BetterOff for caring and watching this thread...

I can keep myself busy, and I walk miles everyday! But this does nothing other than, in a way or another, contributing more and more to emptiness, holiday will be over today, hope that this crisis would be over soon, I'll keep you updated guys ( But shall I always wait and avoid and not face my demons ? )

r90

Facing your demons is like the second step on the way to recovery. Number one is self-realization that you have a problem. I think you have passed step number one and now facing/questioning step number two. I dont know about the country you live in but here in USA we have general practioners that are *okay* to talk to but they lean towards prescribing medication, (which is sometimes helpful as you might have an underlying depression problem that is clinical in nature i.e. your brain has stopped producing the *happy hormones* as we call it. But we also have psychologists which are strickly verbal medical help in that they ask you probing and leading questions that help you to discover where where your demons actually are, to face them, to help you realize why they are there, and to eventually overcome them! They do not advise, but lead you to self-discovery and help lead you to help yourself so to speak... I highly suggest if you have similar and have to go through your general practioner to be referred to one, that you do so. My question to you is "What harm is there in persuing help in these directions?" and the answer is none. fyi... make sure you *click* with your doctors, you should come out of the sessions with them feeling good about yourself, if you leave feeling worse or mis-diagnosed etc... then seek another one, you will know if the doctor is good or not in both cases... follow what your heart and mind tell you as you have to make all final decisions for yourself of course...

Again, good luck..

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There are some interesting thoughts brought up in this thread. I, however would like to remind all that your are NOT, and SHOULD NOT ever consider yourself to be your "diagnosis". You must be proactive in your own recovery. You must understand that through medication, self-advocacy with your servcice providers, and primarily through EDUCATION you can and will become the "expert" in dealing with your own conditions. I promise you that through education you can and will become the expert in dealing with yourself, your medicators, and your therapists. YOU must take control and never relinquish it totally to anyone beyond yourself. It can be done and is being done everyday.

Seek the answers yourself, and be prepared to answer all the questions yourself before turning matters totally into other's hands. Seek through your social services entitiy what "educational" services might be available in your area for free.

Warmest Regards,

Deepster

Edited by Deepster

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Inspiring thoughts!!

I'd like to thank all of you guys, again, for your kind support, I'll ask a moderator to move this topic to depression central, since I am no longer in this particular crisis...

r90

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